First Message Online Dating: A Different View Of The "Rejections"
I have a question for you.
Can you relate to this scenario: you type a first message on an online dating site to a woman and wait and wait for a response...
only to never hear from her? Even though it's hard try not to let this get you down.
Many men go through this when trying to meet women online.
In fact I have a really good looking friend who is very successful meeting women at bars and clubs and dating basically whoever he wants.
Due to some life circumstances he turned to online dating for a while.
Guess what...
he couldn't get a response to save his life! For this article I want to give you a little scenario to help you reframe the so called "rejections" online.
This is for guys who send out 10 messages and maybe get one or two responses.
I know I used to get frustrated when I had something like that happen.
In fact I might even get frustrated if I got 3 or 4 responses.
This is until I had a nice realization that allowed me to reframe my frustration about this.
This realization was how many women do I really have time to interact with? Considering I can probably take an hour and have 10 emails sent to women online and realizing what could come from that which I will illustrate below, it wouldn't take too much for me to use all my free time on online dating.
This of course only became a reality once my I realized how to post great pictures, a well written profile, and send interesting first messages that get replies.
Now I say 10 an hour because I advise reading the woman's whole profile and giving some thought to what stands out about it.
Then thinking of a relatively brief, but good solid email with at least one statement and one question.
Ideally a little humor if you can do it properly.
Of course if I was just shooting off form emails I could do much more in an hour, but for reasons I won't go into in this article, I don't advise that.
***Note in order to do this sometimes you have to skip over the women who are practicing writing their dissertation in their dating profile.
They will suck all the time out of that hour.
*** So let's say out of those 10 emails I sent I get 4 responses back.
I now begin to exchange emails with these women over the next few days.
In the course of the emails one of these women stops responding, which can often happen for a variety of reasons I discuss in other articles.
That leaves three and I ask all of those three for their phone number after 4-5 messages back and forth.
Two of them give it to me and one refuses.
After talking on the phone I set up dates with both women.
I now have two dates for next week.
One of them flakes on the meet, but the other shows up and we like each other.
We set up another date and begin dating on a regular basis.
Now think about that scenario for a minute.
After merely a week I have one woman I'm dating and technically I had 9 "rejections" in one form or another.
This doesn't even count the ten messages I can send the next day and the day after.
Or the fact that I could have already been doing this and dating one or more women I met on an online dating site.
It could easily get to a point where all of your time is consumed with dating.
Hopefully you have other interests besides dating and wouldn't want all your time consumed by it.
Believe me that could easily occur if you're profile and pictures are really good, and you're sending the right kind of messages.
I know it's a high quality problem, but it's a problem none the less.
So the bottom line is, when you reframe things in this way, the "rejections" don't have the effect of depressing you.
Since you wouldn't have time for anything else if you got a response from every woman that you wanted one from, you can actually be thankful that only certain women will respond.
Can you relate to this scenario: you type a first message on an online dating site to a woman and wait and wait for a response...
only to never hear from her? Even though it's hard try not to let this get you down.
Many men go through this when trying to meet women online.
In fact I have a really good looking friend who is very successful meeting women at bars and clubs and dating basically whoever he wants.
Due to some life circumstances he turned to online dating for a while.
Guess what...
he couldn't get a response to save his life! For this article I want to give you a little scenario to help you reframe the so called "rejections" online.
This is for guys who send out 10 messages and maybe get one or two responses.
I know I used to get frustrated when I had something like that happen.
In fact I might even get frustrated if I got 3 or 4 responses.
This is until I had a nice realization that allowed me to reframe my frustration about this.
This realization was how many women do I really have time to interact with? Considering I can probably take an hour and have 10 emails sent to women online and realizing what could come from that which I will illustrate below, it wouldn't take too much for me to use all my free time on online dating.
This of course only became a reality once my I realized how to post great pictures, a well written profile, and send interesting first messages that get replies.
Now I say 10 an hour because I advise reading the woman's whole profile and giving some thought to what stands out about it.
Then thinking of a relatively brief, but good solid email with at least one statement and one question.
Ideally a little humor if you can do it properly.
Of course if I was just shooting off form emails I could do much more in an hour, but for reasons I won't go into in this article, I don't advise that.
***Note in order to do this sometimes you have to skip over the women who are practicing writing their dissertation in their dating profile.
They will suck all the time out of that hour.
*** So let's say out of those 10 emails I sent I get 4 responses back.
I now begin to exchange emails with these women over the next few days.
In the course of the emails one of these women stops responding, which can often happen for a variety of reasons I discuss in other articles.
That leaves three and I ask all of those three for their phone number after 4-5 messages back and forth.
Two of them give it to me and one refuses.
After talking on the phone I set up dates with both women.
I now have two dates for next week.
One of them flakes on the meet, but the other shows up and we like each other.
We set up another date and begin dating on a regular basis.
Now think about that scenario for a minute.
After merely a week I have one woman I'm dating and technically I had 9 "rejections" in one form or another.
This doesn't even count the ten messages I can send the next day and the day after.
Or the fact that I could have already been doing this and dating one or more women I met on an online dating site.
It could easily get to a point where all of your time is consumed with dating.
Hopefully you have other interests besides dating and wouldn't want all your time consumed by it.
Believe me that could easily occur if you're profile and pictures are really good, and you're sending the right kind of messages.
I know it's a high quality problem, but it's a problem none the less.
So the bottom line is, when you reframe things in this way, the "rejections" don't have the effect of depressing you.
Since you wouldn't have time for anything else if you got a response from every woman that you wanted one from, you can actually be thankful that only certain women will respond.