Have you ever wondered how to start painting if you weren't born an artist? Did you ever wish you could just once in your life create something instead of produce something? Let's talk about how you might do that.
First of all, I had no artistic talent, couldn't even draw stick people, and was rigidly conditioned to function in narrow confines of a job role.
I thrived at corporate America and would be described as a Type A personality.
Some time around midlife, I just couldn't function within such a narrow self perception any more.
So as I looked around for something, anything, to make sense out of my world, I thought, "Well, I always did want to paint.
Why not try? What have I got to lose except $15 bucks for a basic set of paints and a canvas?" Obviously the cost indicates that has been a while back.
I started with an imaginary idea I had.
I had always seen a pair of mountains in my mind over the years, when I let my mind ponder the depths of life.
Actually I tried to draw and paint them when I was in middle school.
Needless to say, the effort was mediocre at best.
The art teacher even pointed out that my huge bird that I was so proud of and had placed prominently in the sky of the painting was bigger then everything else in the picture.
In other words, it was out of proportion.
In a child's mind, I guess painting that bird was a bigger then life effort.
So I bought a basic set of primary colored acrylic paints, paint brushes, and a few canvases.
Yes, I know that fine art should be done in oil, but I started with acrylic paint because it dried fast.
I was definitely an amateur.
It took hours to figure out what to buy before I could even get started.
The first attempt looked good to me.
I painted two mountains and a trail curving between them into a valley.
I even included three people I had visualized in my imagination.
I decided to show it to my family.
I wanted validation and feedback.
They all said, "What are those three blobs?" They didn't realize it was my interpretation of myself and two of them.
Not sure which two all these years later.
It was initially shocking that they couldn't see how gorgeous those blobs were as people and how promising it was that I had actually finished one whole painting! I was a little disappointed at their reactions and decided to switch mediums to chalk pastel and then to try to paint things like vases.
After the third attempt at a painting, finally, my family could actually tell what the painting was supposed to look like.
I came to realize much later that I lack the ability to draw and I was trying to paint without drawing or sketching my painting first.
What was happening then, that I didn't know was that the effort of trying or allowing myself to try something new opened up my bottled numb feelings.
As I continued painting with no formal training or instruction, over a period of 1-3 years life and feelings came back into balance.
I no longer felt compelled or driven to define myself according to my job role.
Once this drive neutralized itself, feelings of joy, tranquility, curiosity, and happiness started bubbling up, slow at first, then rapidly.
There was much work to do to make sense of all the emotions that were coming to the surface.
But I had truly succeeded.
I had broken the pattern of conditioning and set my feet on a new path of self discovery.