So, you're finally grown, have your own home, your own kids, a steady career, and a happy life.
You completed College with a degree that helped land that good career, and moved out of your home town.
You are no longer under the wings of your parents and have been making your own decisions for years, now.
You are successful.
Congratulations.
You are living the American Dream (and your own).
But now, the tables have turned, and it's time for you to take care of your parents because they are going down-hill physically and/or mentally.
And you live too far away to help them with their daily needs.
What do you do? Do you fork out the big bucks to place them in a Nursing Home? Do you hire a live-in or daily nurse? Do you find a system to help them stay in their own homes and remain independent as long as possible? The answers to these questions, if not obvious to you, are easy to find.
Simply ask your parents what they want.
Ask any senior, and 98% of them will want to stay in their own home.
The other 2% look forward to finding a place where they can make new friends and enjoy activities with other seniors.
And, with some seniors, that's the best place for them.
But, what if they want to stay at home, or can't afford a Nursing Home? Let's start with trying to keep them at home.
There are many advances in technology that allow the senior to stay in the home that they know and love, for a longer period of time.
There are many different Personal Emergency Response Systems (PERS) available.
(Remember the "Help, I've fallen...
" button?) These provide a way for your Loved One to contact help if they have fallen, or are experiencing chest pain or anything else that may require medical help.
There are monitored PERS that have a speaker/phone built into the base unit, and, when the button is pressed, an operator can open the phone line and talk with your loved one to see what kind of help they need.
This kind can also have automatic fire detection devices, non-activity motion sensors, and security devices like door contacts, added to them.
They are usually priced at less than $300, and have a recurring monthly monitoring fee of anywhere from $30 to $50.
There is now also a non-monitored PERS available that dials directly to 911, has the speaker/phone built right into the pendant so it can be used even if they are outside in the yard, and after the initial cost of the device (usually around $200), there are no monthly fees.
Another option that works very well in conjunction with a PERS System is a home monitoring system.
You want to look for one that employs small, wireless motion sensors located strategically around the home, and automatically monitors a senior's activity levels.
You'll want the information presented on an easy-to-read, secure website, that all of the children or caregivers can access from anywhere in the world, any time of the day or night, to see how Mom and Dad are doing.
This type of system can even detect the early onset of some illnesses, including urinary tract infections.
Look for one that is able to detect possible falls in the bathroom (where 85% of all house-hold falls occur), and elsewhere in the home, if possible.
You'll want it to automatically send alerts to the caregivers and to a monitoring station when it detects a serious situation.
On the website, it should present the information to the caregivers in a clear, easy to read manner, to give them the ability to assess the senior's needs, based on the information available.
This type of system was originally designed for use in Assisted Living Facilities, and is being used in a lot of them nationwide, but the designers saw the benefits of using it to prolong independent living for the Seniors in their own homes, and it is now offered for residential installation.
When the available technology is no longer enough for the health and security of Mom and Dad, then you should consider adding a home-health caregiver into the mix.
A lot of times, combining the Home Monitoring System with an in-home companion is all that is needed.
Most of the home health services can provide a companion to come in during the day to help out with the cooking, cleaning, laundry and even trips to the store.
Some services also provide nursing staff to check vital health issues and medication dispersal.
Having the Home Monitoring System available along with this allows you and the nursing staff to monitor your loved ones, and in some cases, you can monitor the coming and going of the companions and nurses.
The information on the website can be made available to the Doctor, too, or easily printed out to give to him/her during the next office visit.
Another technology option available is a camera system.
I know, a lot of 'Big Brother' questions come out when cameras are mentioned, and I personally do not recommend these systems unless Alzheimer's has become an issue that you have to deal with.
Placement of cameras should be carefully considered to preserve the privacy of your parent.
You don't want to watch them shower, or see them in bed, but one between the bed and bathroom should be considered, so you can see if they have fallen on their way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, for example.
Another consideration for camera placement would be the front door.
There are camera systems available now that include a door contact, and the system can be programmed to take a snapshot or short video segment when the door is opened.
It can then be sent to your e-mail or cell-phone.
This way, you can see if they are receiving visitors, or, if wandering is a problem, you can see what they are wearing, so you can have a good description for searchers.
I hate to put it this bluntly, but you and I may have to deal with this situation, and it's good to face up to it before you need to, and have a good plan of action.
Alas, when the technology and in-home care are no longer enough to ensure your parents health and well-being, it's time to consider placing them in a facility.
Of course, if you have the room and the time, you can move them in with you, and try the technology and/or in-home care there, so that when the companion worker goes home, you take over looking after them.
This would be a kind of an 'in-between' step before sending them to a facility.
But most of us have our own responsibilities, and wouldn't be able to do this.
I'm not condemning anyone for this, it's just a fact of life, (plus, who am I to judge?).
When it's time to shop around for a good Assisted Living Facility (ALF), there are a lot of things you need to consider.
And while I am not going to list them all here, I do want to stress some points to consider: 1.
Try to pick a place that is centrally located for visitors to stop by.
If you are the only family Mom has, you may need to choose a facility near your home so you can easily and frequently visit.
One of the biggest fears that seniors have about ALFs is that they will be placed there, and then forgotten.
2.
Visit several places and narrow the choices down to 3 or 4, and then visit them again unannounced.
You'll see a much more accurate representation of the facility when you are not on their 'guided tour'.
3.
Ask a lot of questions to the staff members you see, and any residents that seem willing to talk.
Before starting to visit any facilities, do some research on the internet.
I would suggest that you search for "choosing an Assisted Living Facility".
The results you get will give you a lot of information on what to look for, what questions to ask, etc.
If you know what facilities are in your area, most of them have their own websites, so you can see ahead of time what kind of services they offer, and be able to choose which ones to visit, based on what your parent's needs are.
While you are trying to decide on the best course of action, just remember to keep one thing in mind: Your Parents did everything they could to provide the best life for you, and now it's time to return the favor.
Let's do everything we can to keep them safe and secure in the home that they know and love, for as long as possible.