Did You Know That by Strengthening Your Boundaries You Increase Your Self-Esteem?
Our personal boundaries are the imaginary lines we create around ourselves.
They define what is acceptable to us and what is unacceptable.
Depending on our upbringing and life experiences we may find that the boundaries we have do not work well for us.
As adults we all have the ability to review our boundaries and see where they need to be expanded.
Unless we consciously learn to pay objective attention to ourselves we will keep doing things in the same way.
How does one go about strengthening ones boundaries? You do that first of all by recognizing that you are not happy with the ones you have.
If your boundaries were violated while growing up and still are you may want strengthen the boundaries which don't serve you well.
Fortunately as adults we all have the capacity to unlearn long established habits and coping mechanisms and substitute healthier ones.
How to identify which boundaries to strengthen First of all it is good to remember that in all likelihood many of your boundaries are just fine.
Train yourself to pay attention to what goes on inside you.
We all have a little voice that guides us and that we need to learn to listen to it.
Look for patterns that keep repeating.
For instance what do you do if someone is very critical and demeaning of you.
Your insides no doubt registered that it felt bad to be spoken to like that.
If your pattern has been to stay silent you may want to work on a different response.
This is a good place to extend your boundary.
Look at it as an opportunity to educate others that you no longer will accept put downs, criticism, sarcasm etc.
Once you decide that you want to change this pattern it becomes easier to speak up.
Use words to clearly articulate that from now on you will not allow anyone to speak with you in a way that is offensive to you.
At first people may not take you seriously but if you mean it and repeat it they will get that you will not let anyone violate this boundary.
Benefits of extending your boundaries 1.
You will feel better about yourself because you are respecting who you are.
2.
Others will have more respect for you because they can tell that you value yourself.
3.
You find that you have more courage and discover other area where you want to extend your boundaries.
They define what is acceptable to us and what is unacceptable.
Depending on our upbringing and life experiences we may find that the boundaries we have do not work well for us.
As adults we all have the ability to review our boundaries and see where they need to be expanded.
Unless we consciously learn to pay objective attention to ourselves we will keep doing things in the same way.
How does one go about strengthening ones boundaries? You do that first of all by recognizing that you are not happy with the ones you have.
If your boundaries were violated while growing up and still are you may want strengthen the boundaries which don't serve you well.
Fortunately as adults we all have the capacity to unlearn long established habits and coping mechanisms and substitute healthier ones.
How to identify which boundaries to strengthen First of all it is good to remember that in all likelihood many of your boundaries are just fine.
Train yourself to pay attention to what goes on inside you.
We all have a little voice that guides us and that we need to learn to listen to it.
Look for patterns that keep repeating.
For instance what do you do if someone is very critical and demeaning of you.
Your insides no doubt registered that it felt bad to be spoken to like that.
If your pattern has been to stay silent you may want to work on a different response.
This is a good place to extend your boundary.
Look at it as an opportunity to educate others that you no longer will accept put downs, criticism, sarcasm etc.
Once you decide that you want to change this pattern it becomes easier to speak up.
Use words to clearly articulate that from now on you will not allow anyone to speak with you in a way that is offensive to you.
At first people may not take you seriously but if you mean it and repeat it they will get that you will not let anyone violate this boundary.
Benefits of extending your boundaries 1.
You will feel better about yourself because you are respecting who you are.
2.
Others will have more respect for you because they can tell that you value yourself.
3.
You find that you have more courage and discover other area where you want to extend your boundaries.