Text Your Ex Back - Why Rushing In Could Cause You To Lose Your Ex Forever
At some point in your life, you probably heard the saying, "only fools rush in". Maybe you were listening to old Elvis lyrics or maybe you heard it from your grandmother or grandfather, but nothing is truer when it comes to your attempts to text your ex back after a breakup.
Being a bit of a "relationship junkie", I constantly read bad breakup advice that says you need to get your ex back RIGHT NOW or you're going to lose them forever. If you weren't already totally distraught over the breakup, this kind of advice immediately sets your mind into panic mode.
1.) "There's not much time. I've probably already lost them."
2.) "I have to hurry."
3.) "I'll never get my ex back if I don't run over to his/her house right now and fix things."
4.) "I have to strike now while the iron's hot or I won't be able to reignite the spark."
These are the thoughts that frantically pass through your mind, leave you with horrible anxiety, and cause you to act irrationally as you try to text or otherwise contact your ex. And what happens 99% of the time? It backfires. And it backfires in a BIG way.
The truth is you have time and if you want results from your efforts, you'll have to be patient and wait...and then probably wait some more. Even if your ex is dating someone else, the best thing you can do for yourself and for your relationship is to take your time and do things right.
The last thing you want to do is to act from a place of heightened emotion rather than from a place of rationality. Before you ever try to text your ex back, take some time off. It's often advised you and your ex take at least one month off from each other.
This means you completely cut contact. No phone, no texting, no hanging out, no email, and no 'accidentally' bumping into each other at the mall, a favorite bar, restaurant, etc.
Now you might be thinking, "30 full days of silence? Really? I can't do that." Yes you can. And you should. Longer would be even better.
Don't be needy. Allow time for all the "stuff" from your relationship to die down.
Give yourself time to figure out what you really want and formulate a plan on how you're going to get it. Give your ex time to miss you. Only then are you ready to start sending your first few text messages.
Being a bit of a "relationship junkie", I constantly read bad breakup advice that says you need to get your ex back RIGHT NOW or you're going to lose them forever. If you weren't already totally distraught over the breakup, this kind of advice immediately sets your mind into panic mode.
1.) "There's not much time. I've probably already lost them."
2.) "I have to hurry."
3.) "I'll never get my ex back if I don't run over to his/her house right now and fix things."
4.) "I have to strike now while the iron's hot or I won't be able to reignite the spark."
These are the thoughts that frantically pass through your mind, leave you with horrible anxiety, and cause you to act irrationally as you try to text or otherwise contact your ex. And what happens 99% of the time? It backfires. And it backfires in a BIG way.
The truth is you have time and if you want results from your efforts, you'll have to be patient and wait...and then probably wait some more. Even if your ex is dating someone else, the best thing you can do for yourself and for your relationship is to take your time and do things right.
The last thing you want to do is to act from a place of heightened emotion rather than from a place of rationality. Before you ever try to text your ex back, take some time off. It's often advised you and your ex take at least one month off from each other.
This means you completely cut contact. No phone, no texting, no hanging out, no email, and no 'accidentally' bumping into each other at the mall, a favorite bar, restaurant, etc.
Now you might be thinking, "30 full days of silence? Really? I can't do that." Yes you can. And you should. Longer would be even better.
Don't be needy. Allow time for all the "stuff" from your relationship to die down.
Give yourself time to figure out what you really want and formulate a plan on how you're going to get it. Give your ex time to miss you. Only then are you ready to start sending your first few text messages.