Well, that all depends on what your want from your marriage, the nature of the affair and how you handle it...
So can your marriage survive? In most affairs there are both push and pull factors - •The excitement of unchartered territory •The seduction of someone who promises something longed for •The person who attracts you and makes you feel 'tingly' •Someone who puts a smile on your face These 'pull 'factors are very strong and normally are uncontrollable, However, these factors are not the real danger - the real danger lies in the 'push' factors.
These impulses exist within yourself and are fed by what is happening in your marriage and the unmet needs that make you vulnerable.
They can include: •Boredom •Feelings of being taken for granted •All forms of intimacy on a down-hill slide or non-existent •Loneliness •No communication When you are vulnerable, there's a possibility that Mr/Ms X might just appear to be exactly the right size and shape to fill the hole in your life.
Now you know about the push and pull factors, where does this leave you? 1.
The first casualty is TRUST.
It is painful to realize that you didn't notice what you partner was up to.
There is some truth in the saying that you are 'always the last one to know'.
What REALLY matters here is not that you learn to trust your partner again, but that you learn to trust yourself again.
2.
You need validation from the person who cheated on you before your healing can start.
If your partner says sorry and means "Sorry, I did it" and not "Sorry, I got caught" you can start to move forward.