How to Make Conversation With a Shy Girl
- 1). Approach the conversation in a way that is curious, invitational and open-ended. Convey your willingness to learn the "rules" of social engagement the way your intended conversational partner sees them. For example, you could begin a conversation by complimenting something unique or interesting that you notice about her appearance. Or you could engage her in "people watching," observing and pointing out the strange behavior of others.
- 2). Balance questions about her interests with a willingness to disclose information about yourself. Introverts tend to become anxious when there is a lack of balance in social interactions, fearing either that they will be put on the spot or will end up trapped in a situation that is uncomfortable. By showing that you are willing to share some things about yourself and also willing to listen and find out more about her, you can help reduce this anxiety.
- 3). Express your own anxiety and sense of uncertainty. One of the common beliefs of introverts is that everyone else feels completely comfortable and that only introverts feel anxious about social situations. You can try to dispel this notion by saying something to the effect of, "I hate these kind of places," or "I get so nervous around all these people." This sort of statement may work to put her at ease.
- 4). Use playful challenges to persuade her to come out of her shell. For example, you could challenge your conversational partner by saying, "I bet you can't get that guy to tell you what kind of underwear he's wearing in the next 10 minutes," or "You have to do a shot every time that girl fixes her hair." The point is to show that you understand what it's like to feel like an outsider and that you're willing to be a little bit silly in order to be her friend.