How to Be Less Competitive With Yourself and Experience More Joy in the Process
I love to play tennis.
Have you, I am not a great player, but I don't allow that to affect my love of doing it.
If it did, I surely wouldn't ever get out there.
I have learned to look beyond my limited skills and consider myself a champion nonetheless for trying.
I remind myself that half the battle in life is just showing up, so anytime you do, celebrate it as an incredible achievement regardless of whether or not you're really any good at it.
The reason tennis is important to me, aside from the fun factor, is I consider it to be an excellent example of moving mediation because it facilitates stillness of the mind while being in intense motion.
It requires you be completely present in that moment, alert, aware and focused on nothing in particular, ready to react to whatever comes hurling at you.
However, if you are stuck in your head in anyway, it is impossible to think on your feet or react with purpose, whether you are playing tennis or playing the game of life.
Once a week I participate in a cardio/tennis class.
It's a high energy, mixed level mish-mosh of fun games and drills, usually done to music.
It's so much fun, you can't help but smile the whole time you are doing it and I leave mentally refreshed having not worried or stressed about anything for 90 minutes.
Yesterday, a friend of mine joined the class for the first time.
She's a great athlete and had played tennis a long time before, however was nervous nonetheless that she couldn't keep up.
I told her this is supposed to be fun and not to care what anyone thought, even the 'mean girl' who would probably give her a hard time regardless.
In essence, no one was judging her, except her self.
For moments, my friend played some brilliant tennis, and yet she failed to notice any of it.
She was so fixated on the mistakes she made, she was unable to experience all the beautiful shots she did make, especially the winning point against the 'mean girl'.
Her inability to relax into it, and instead judge her every move, caused her to miss shot after shot she would have naturally made, had she been paying attention and not criticizing herself for not being good enough yet.
But worse than that, she missed experiencing the joy of what the class was really all about...
Fun! The irony of it all, the 'mean girl' and the others were too busy gossiping amongst themselves they didn't even notice she what she was doing.
Tennis is a perfect metaphor for life.
Learning to find well-being and balance in the midst of chaos is really the key.
It doesn't matter if the chaos is tennis balls or life's challenges hurling at your head.
In order to experience any real growth, you must move through set backs and obstacles with focus and finesse.
Yet, it requires enduring the uncomfortable sensation of the unknown, being out of your comfort zone and potentially looking foolish.
But most importantly you must release yourself from your need to judge and evaluate yourself, and every moment of your existence against the exacting standards of your wounded ego and the negative opinions of other less evolved beings.
Think about how many times you have dropped out of something because it was difficult? How many times you have you cared so much of what other people thought, that it stopped you from doing something you wanted to do? How many times have you stressed so much over something, that after it was all over you realized it was all for nothing and you missed the whole experience in the process? Learning to be easy on ourselves is apparently an acquired skill.
When you care what other people think, or you allow the opinion of your wounded ego to rule you, it will always be hard to notice your own perfection.
Our wounded self serves to remind us of the pain of our past failures and the potential for new damage, impeding your forward motion and keeping you stuck in your comfort zone, where no growth can occur.
Even worse, it makes hard to try again.
However, you must learn to ignore all of it and show up anyway.
It's okay to look foolish sometimes and it's okay to not be instantly good at everything and sometimes the 'mean girl's' will boss you around because you lack confidence, but none of that really matters when you're following your own inspiration.
Nobody said it was going to be easy.
There's a reason it's called growing pains...
But it is possible, in the midst of discomfort, to find total joy, well-being and peace of mind at the same time.
Have you, I am not a great player, but I don't allow that to affect my love of doing it.
If it did, I surely wouldn't ever get out there.
I have learned to look beyond my limited skills and consider myself a champion nonetheless for trying.
I remind myself that half the battle in life is just showing up, so anytime you do, celebrate it as an incredible achievement regardless of whether or not you're really any good at it.
The reason tennis is important to me, aside from the fun factor, is I consider it to be an excellent example of moving mediation because it facilitates stillness of the mind while being in intense motion.
It requires you be completely present in that moment, alert, aware and focused on nothing in particular, ready to react to whatever comes hurling at you.
However, if you are stuck in your head in anyway, it is impossible to think on your feet or react with purpose, whether you are playing tennis or playing the game of life.
Once a week I participate in a cardio/tennis class.
It's a high energy, mixed level mish-mosh of fun games and drills, usually done to music.
It's so much fun, you can't help but smile the whole time you are doing it and I leave mentally refreshed having not worried or stressed about anything for 90 minutes.
Yesterday, a friend of mine joined the class for the first time.
She's a great athlete and had played tennis a long time before, however was nervous nonetheless that she couldn't keep up.
I told her this is supposed to be fun and not to care what anyone thought, even the 'mean girl' who would probably give her a hard time regardless.
In essence, no one was judging her, except her self.
For moments, my friend played some brilliant tennis, and yet she failed to notice any of it.
She was so fixated on the mistakes she made, she was unable to experience all the beautiful shots she did make, especially the winning point against the 'mean girl'.
Her inability to relax into it, and instead judge her every move, caused her to miss shot after shot she would have naturally made, had she been paying attention and not criticizing herself for not being good enough yet.
But worse than that, she missed experiencing the joy of what the class was really all about...
Fun! The irony of it all, the 'mean girl' and the others were too busy gossiping amongst themselves they didn't even notice she what she was doing.
Tennis is a perfect metaphor for life.
Learning to find well-being and balance in the midst of chaos is really the key.
It doesn't matter if the chaos is tennis balls or life's challenges hurling at your head.
In order to experience any real growth, you must move through set backs and obstacles with focus and finesse.
Yet, it requires enduring the uncomfortable sensation of the unknown, being out of your comfort zone and potentially looking foolish.
But most importantly you must release yourself from your need to judge and evaluate yourself, and every moment of your existence against the exacting standards of your wounded ego and the negative opinions of other less evolved beings.
Think about how many times you have dropped out of something because it was difficult? How many times you have you cared so much of what other people thought, that it stopped you from doing something you wanted to do? How many times have you stressed so much over something, that after it was all over you realized it was all for nothing and you missed the whole experience in the process? Learning to be easy on ourselves is apparently an acquired skill.
When you care what other people think, or you allow the opinion of your wounded ego to rule you, it will always be hard to notice your own perfection.
Our wounded self serves to remind us of the pain of our past failures and the potential for new damage, impeding your forward motion and keeping you stuck in your comfort zone, where no growth can occur.
Even worse, it makes hard to try again.
However, you must learn to ignore all of it and show up anyway.
It's okay to look foolish sometimes and it's okay to not be instantly good at everything and sometimes the 'mean girl's' will boss you around because you lack confidence, but none of that really matters when you're following your own inspiration.
Nobody said it was going to be easy.
There's a reason it's called growing pains...
But it is possible, in the midst of discomfort, to find total joy, well-being and peace of mind at the same time.