I admit it.
I have a soft spot for salutations.
In this peculiar area of human behaviour, one can be formal and ordinary or choose to be slightly eccentric without people getting the wrong impression - much.
Conventional greetings are fine, except they are monotonous and dull.
I tend to get bored and tired: "Good morning/evening.
" "How are you?" "Not too bad, yourself?" (Not too bad? Good Lord...
what an expression.
) "Good, how are the kids?" "Good to see you, have a nice day.
" I suggest you use your imagination and try to be resourceful and creative.
All of us can afford to be slightly bizarre or uncommon in one facet of our behaviour.
Now, if you are generally a bit odd or atypical in other aspects as well, it is probably best to avoid the following exercises, just in case people really begin to wonder.
If you are willing to experiment with your vocabulary (for more on the topic see Robbins, 1987), here are some alternative salutation ideas: "Hello.
" "Yellow!" "Good morning.
" "Isn't it just!" "How are you?" "Delighted!" "Hi!" "Very high!" etc.
Try this The Table in the resource box below can help you choose alternative styles of greetings.
Provided you are prepared to get rid of formalities, this little exercise can change the dull and uninteresting protocol you followed until this day.
"How are you?" people will ask, as they usually do.
"Fabulous! Just great! Why shouldn't I be? I would be crazy not to be" you may respond.
Or "I'm fine.
Everyone else needs therapy!" Shall we embark on some preparation? Today, probably late in the evening (I do not want you getting into trouble early in the morning), I suggest you print the table that you will find at the resource box, and post it on the fridge, the mirror in the bathroom, the elevator in your apartment block or office.
Exceptional! Every morning, before leaving your house, following the instructions, choose one of the words from the Table.
When, during the day, people ask you: "How are you?" "How are you feeling today?" "Did you have a good time?" you will use the new, unexpected (for your conversational partner) word or phrase you happened to select from the Table.
Let us assume you picked the cell B12, which comes up with the word "exceptional.
" During the day, regardless of how you are actually feeling, when asked you are obliged to answer "Exceptional!" "How are you, dear Dr Ro, this fine day?" "Exceptional, perfect, fabulous, fantastic, super-duper, great, tutto bene [all good, in Italian], tutti frutti [all...
fruits]," and getting better at time goes by! These are the right answers! Even if you have - for the sake of argument - the top five reasons in the world for feeling awful, changing your vocabulary and expressions towards a more positive outlook, creates an inconsistency in your mind: you are feeling one way but expressing quite another.
If you pay a little attention and eavesdrop, you may even catch yourself saying: "What am I saying, I'm feeling awful!" The notional conflict between exceptional and awful, which results from the dissonance between what you are saying and how you are actually feeling, produces a form of tension inside your skull.
Our brain cannot cope for long with inconsistencies between thoughts and actions.
To reduce the tension, it chooses to modify the initial negative sentiment to a milder one (as it knows what is better for us before we have even thought about it).
As a result, the distance between how you actually felt (awful) and your response (exceptional) decreases.
Your mood shifts towards the middle values on the awful - exceptional axis.
When you try it, you will find difficult to control the goofy smile that will accompany the "semi-automatic" improvement in your mood.
Even if it does not work, if the change does not occur and you cannot convince yourself, at least you will...
confuse the other person! The bewilderment of your unsuspecting conversational partner "what's got into Don this morning?" caused by the unexpected content of your response to their greeting will set in motion the transformation.
Our behaviour affects our emotions We all know that our emotions affect our behaviour.
Few know that it's the other way around too: our behaviour affects our emotions! If you wish to test the validity of the aforementioned theory, next time you catch yourself feeling down, raise your arms up above your head [caution: do not attempt this exercise while riding a bike without support wheels], smile from ear to ear and try shouting at the top of your voice: "I feel horrible; I'm in a mess, I am really depressed!" Because your behaviour will be incongruent with your statements, you will probably feel...
ridiculous.
As a result, you may burst into laughter, hence moderating once again the intensity of your initial emotions.
As always, there is a chance that people will make disapproving comments: "What is he on...
?" Do not pay any attention.
Carry on regardless! Enjoy! Instructions Pick any letter from A to D and a number between 1 and 40 (without looking at the table).
E.
g.
, C and 3.
The number-letter pairs (C-3) form the coordinates of the words in the Table that follows below.
Now look at the table.
Find the word that corresponds to the specific coordinates.
In this case, C-3 = glittering.
Throughout the day, use the sentiment you have come up with either as an adjective or as an adverb to describe how you feel when asked "how are you, how are you feeling, how are you doing" etc.
Respond thus: "I usually feel very good but at the moment I'm feeling...
[the word you've come up with].
" If you wish, you can supplement your own words to the table.
You may also create new compound phrases using the words in the table plus one or more of the following: hyper, super, mega, giga, extra, special, etc.
For example, extra-juicy, super-attractive, hyper-bright.
Go on, give it a try, see how you go! References Robbins, A.
(1987).
Awaken the giant within.
Ballantine Books.