Until recently, I always considered myself a fairly intelligent gal.
Lately, though, my brain has been stretched in ways I could not imagine, and nothing in my academic career could have completely prepared me for life with three young kiddos.
When our baby hit his two month mark, I thought to myself, "wow, we're gonna make it!" Not because life had suddenly become easy, but because my body is closer to being recovered, I feel pretty great, all three kiddos are great, our schedule is becoming more apparent, and I've seen a silver lining.
Life with kiddos have taught me so many lessons.
I remember life with just our first son.
Looking back, it was so simple.
Going places, though more complicated, was so much easier than with two kiddos.
My husband and I feel the more kiddos you have the more selfless you become.
It's almost like you can't help it.
As you give your love and time, there is less and less room to be selfish and self-centered.
Somewhere after having two kiddos I realized that there was no point in me looking at other children and trying to guess why they are doing something inappropriate, or why they are having a hard time.
I learned that I have no idea what they or their parent's day has been like, and that it's better to just smile and be thankful that it's not my turn (this time).
The three kiddos and I have been to the grocery store 3 times together this week already.
No, it's not easy.
I keep forgetting things and that's why we keep returning.
(Another brain failure).
The first two visits were great...
or the kiddos were great, I should say.
Tonight's visit got a bit sticky for a few minutes when my daughter wanted me to open something that had too many small pieces.
She was crying, and my reassurance that the cracker isle was coming up didn't help.
We passed items on our list so we could get to the cracker isle quicker and open some desired crackers.
No, she hadn't had a nap today (an extreme rarity), and yes, people were staring, but I know I'm not the only one to have a moment in the store with a small child and I tried to keep this in mind.
Sure enough, she was just fine as soon as she could open her box of crackers.
Now with three kiddos, I've learned another important lesson this week: It's always better to not ask myself why someone has or hasn't done something.
I don't know what their week has been like, what is on their plate, and how they are feeling.
Separate occasions this week, I've been chastised for not calling family members.
I just can't help but think...
obviously they haven't had a look into my world this week.
Yes, many of the activities the kiddos and I have done this week have been fun, yet, we are busy, I get tired, and don't have a lot to give at the end of my 12 hour shift.
Using the phone is just one more thing.
Because my kiddos are my priority, something has to give, and that's what happened this week.
Of course it hurts.
I wish I could do everything, and be there for everyone, and do all those things that are expected of me, but sometimes i have to look at my little world and just try to get through the week of: 12-15 loads of laundry (so far),diapers to change, playgroup fun, museum fun, park day, unexpectedly entertaining 5 lil' kiddos while trying to cook dinner yesterday, endless dishes, our youngest's baby blessing this coming Sunday, my sister in town, family coming in town, food to plan & prepare, invitations to print, invitations to mail, invitations to pass out, passing on material from my past calling and working on bulletin for new one, preparing to go to grandparent's cabin early next week, visiting teaching, my husband being gone 3 nights of the week already, renters just moved out and the condo needs to be cleaned tomorrow (they had a cat)...
and the list goes on...
But how does this help me? Because I know that everyone reading this is just like me! I have two beautiful, and extremely talented cousins that each have twins, and are making it.
Another good friend cooking twins in her oven, wonderful friends who are working full time as designers, nurses, and entrepreneurs.
They are making it and understand what a rich life is.
No, our weeks may look different and may turn out differently, but we are all trying to do the best that we can everyday, and there is no point in trying to guess one's next move or question one.
So, a big thank you to those of you who get a glimpse into my life and give me a bit of leeway, and are patient with my decisions and follies.
You soo are loved and appreciated!