Dealing With Infidelity: Confronting Your Spouse And The Other Person
All the evidence points to a hard truth that you never wanted to know and hoped you would never experience within your marriage. The person you vowed to love for better or worse has not been holding up their end of the contract. To put it more bluntly they have been cheating on you.
You did everything in your power to disprove your suspicions and the gossip that trickled back your way. That's how much you loved your spouse and were willing to give them the benefit of the doubt even as the evidence became more concrete and overwhelming.
Now what? That's the biggest question. The answer is the ball is in your court. Your significant other has no idea that you know about their unfaithfulness. They patted themselves on the back for being in their opinion just a little bit too clever for you. Or so they thought.
Do you want to end the marriage? That's something you are really going to have to think about. It may require talking it over with an experienced counselor. But right now you have not gotten that far.
Where you have gotten is to the point that you want to confront your spouse and the person who they have been carrying on an affair with. You have the right to of course but you may want to step back and consider a few things before going that route.
1. Controlling Your Emotions
Easy to say but not so easy to do. Their betrayal is kerosene on the fire and you have every right to be angry and hurt. But one of the best things you can do is be calm when confronting your spouse and the other party. They expect you to be an emotional wreck when confronting them. Don't give them that satisfaction. Besides controlling your emotions braces you for
2. Their Reactions
It could be all over the map. From fear and shock to anger and resentment. What are they angry about? You catching them. Your spouse may try to turn the tables and lay all the blame on your shoulders. The other person may try to paint you as a failure because your significant other strayed. That is why controlling your emotions is so important.
Their reaction can have you walking out the door hurting more than you already do or something violently worse which you want to avoid at all cost. They messed up the relationship don't let them mess up the rest of your life as well.
You did everything in your power to disprove your suspicions and the gossip that trickled back your way. That's how much you loved your spouse and were willing to give them the benefit of the doubt even as the evidence became more concrete and overwhelming.
Now what? That's the biggest question. The answer is the ball is in your court. Your significant other has no idea that you know about their unfaithfulness. They patted themselves on the back for being in their opinion just a little bit too clever for you. Or so they thought.
Do you want to end the marriage? That's something you are really going to have to think about. It may require talking it over with an experienced counselor. But right now you have not gotten that far.
Where you have gotten is to the point that you want to confront your spouse and the person who they have been carrying on an affair with. You have the right to of course but you may want to step back and consider a few things before going that route.
1. Controlling Your Emotions
Easy to say but not so easy to do. Their betrayal is kerosene on the fire and you have every right to be angry and hurt. But one of the best things you can do is be calm when confronting your spouse and the other party. They expect you to be an emotional wreck when confronting them. Don't give them that satisfaction. Besides controlling your emotions braces you for
2. Their Reactions
It could be all over the map. From fear and shock to anger and resentment. What are they angry about? You catching them. Your spouse may try to turn the tables and lay all the blame on your shoulders. The other person may try to paint you as a failure because your significant other strayed. That is why controlling your emotions is so important.
Their reaction can have you walking out the door hurting more than you already do or something violently worse which you want to avoid at all cost. They messed up the relationship don't let them mess up the rest of your life as well.