How to Write a Letter to a Difficult Person
- 1). Begin the letter by expressing whatever empathy is possible, without excusing her behavior. According to the website StressMethods.org, most difficult people view their behaviors as reasonable, given their past experiences, personality-type and expectations. Expressing empathy will demonstrate your understanding of the situation from the difficult person's point of view, disarm her and help prepare her for the message you have to deliver.
- 2). Stick to the facts. Stay away from using emotion-packed words such as "cheat," "steal," or "dishonest," even if all these descriptions apply. Do not beg or plead with him and do not share anything personal about your own situation. These tactics will not garner sympathy and will only give him some further material with which he can manipulate you.
- 3). Make your expectations clear with direct, time-limited statements. You can say, "You need to pay the total amount due within 60 days as per the conditions of your lease," for example, or, "I need you to have the final report turned in by Tuesday to keep the project going." If possible, refer to a lease, will, contract, memos, letters, emails or any documentation you have, giving her less room to be disagreeable.
- 4). End the letter on a positive note, saying something such as, "Thank you in advance for your help in resolving this conflict." By closing on a positive note you are indicating that the issue can be resolved positively. Treating others how you want to be treated is likely to yield the most positive result possible.
- 5). Have an attorney look over any official documents. Although you may be reluctant to do so because of the costs involved, spending some money on the front end is much wiser than having to spend a lot more money later on because your letter stated something illegal or not factual. Have the attorney endorse the letter or indicate in the letter that you consulted with your attorney who agrees with your position. This way the difficult person will be know that they cannot scare you.