Flowers

• In some religions, flowers are the most common gift to send a family after someone has passed away. Before sending flowers, speak to a family friend or the funeral home to determine whether the family wants flowers sent to their home, to the church where the funeral may be taking place or to the funeral home. Sending your flowers to the correct place will mean that no one in the grieving family has to deal with moving them to the proper location. Also, remember that while flowers are commonly given as sympathy gifts in Protestant religions, they are not traditional for Orthodox Jews, Hindus and Muslims.
  
  

In Lieu of Flowers

• For some families, a large number of expensive floral arrangements might seem like a waste. These people often ask that the obituary and people at the funeral home note that they would prefer a donation be made in the deceased's name rather than receive flowers. This is particularly common when the person who has passed away was active in a particular charity. When a family requests that donations be made in lieu of flowers, do so. Going against their wishes and sending flowers anyway goes against the rules of etiquette.
  
  

Food

• Bringing food to a family in mourning is a common practice all over the world. However, there are a few rules of etiquette to think about before bringing an item or a meal to the home. First, consider any dietary restrictions the family might have. Bringing meat to a group of vegetarians would be in bad form. It's best to bring a simple dish that does not require much on the part of the recipient. A casserole or something that can be easily reheated is best. Also, there will likely be many people bringing food, so bring something that can be eaten the next day or that can even be frozen. Another way to be considerate of the mourning family is to bring your item in a dish that does not have to be returned. You can purchase inexpensive one-use metal casserole dishes and other types of pans at most grocery stores. The family can simply throw away the dish when the food is gone, rather than having to wash and return it.
  
  

Thank You Notes

• Etiquette does require that the recipients of sympathy gifts send thank you notes to the people who reached out to them in their time of mourning. However, the rules are much more lax than they are for other events. If you feel up to writing the notes within two weeks of the funeral, do so. However, if a month or two goes by without a thank you note, people should not be offended. When you write your note, a line or two expressing your thanks is sufficient.