Preparing Child Number One For Child Number Two
Life was much simpler then, with only work and home life to balance...
and at that point home life was much less hectic.
But now that I am expecting baby number two who will be here any day now, it seems like there is so much to do and no guide telling me how to balance everything.
How do we prepare the two-year-old for the fact that his sister will be here soon? Will we make it through these last days without me completely losing it? The arrival of a sibling is an incredibly abstract concept to even the most precocious two-year-old.
As he kisses my belly and talks about how she'll be here soon, I wonder what that means to my Little Man.
I try to encourage him to imagine having her in the house by telling him ways that our lifestyle will change, but it is obvious to me that the vision he sees is very different than the expectations my husband and I hold; we don't see her as a bringer of toys that will be conversing with us upon her arrival.
I suppose it's best to be happy that he talks about it all and is very articulate about his feelings.
But for some reason mothers are cursed with the inability to relax; we have to worry constantly.
So as I begin to feel like he's as prepared as can be for bringing sister home, the panicky preparations become geared toward my hospital stay.
I've given him warning that I will be going to "the doctor's" for two days.
I've told him that if it looks like I'm hurting when the time comes that it is all okay.
Do I really expect a toddler to understand that information and be able to utilize it when he's fearfully witnessing his mother's first contractions? I just have to trust that even in labor I will be the same mother I am the rest of the time.
Trusting myself is so difficult when all the hormones are coursing through my veins and my to-do list is longer than I am tall.
The discomfort is beginning: the Braxton Hicks contractions are more frequent and stronger, my bladder has short-circuited, and sleep is an elusive goal.
I try not to focus on my list of complaints as it grows (and is beginning to rival the to-do list), but my mood is affected nonetheless.
I have become an impatient moody mess.
So as I try to do normal life stuff I fall apart.
One minute I'm laughing while tears dry on my cheeks, the next I'm giving my husband an attitude over absolutely nothing.
I'm not the only one that's ready for this all to be done.
So maybe I have already lost it.
Maybe my husband and son are just patiently awaiting the moment when I return and the crazy lady that has been in my place goes back to where she came from.
But maybe it's okay to be a complete nut job when you're nine months pregnant.
Maybe the Little Man doesn't need to be prepared as long as we keep him involved once the sister arrives.
Soon there will be two precocious little ones and I need to just go with the flow so that I can enjoy the growth of my family.
I guess that the balance I'm looking for is inside myself; I just have to relax and everything will be calmer.
I wonder, what are the chances of me successfully relaxing?