What If This is Who You Really Are?
What if the real truth of you is inherently in you right now? What if that truth is so fully present in this moment that there is nothing to "fix" about you? What if you could accept the absolute perfection of yourself in every moment? How would life and your experience of it change for you? Or would it? We spend so much time trying to improve ourselves in so many ways that it's a wonder we like ourselves at all! Some of us work so hard at changing things about ourselves, spend so much time trying to become "other" than what or who we are, that it borders on abuse.
Think about it.
If every day in some way, someone important to you, pointed out your flaws and told you what you should do to correct them, how would you end up feeling about yourself? And how would you respond? Most of us would want to run from that sort of experience.
I learned very early on in my career as a coach and therapist that "what you resist, persists".
In other words, trying to "strong arm" yourself, or anyone else for that matter, will almost always result in a power struggle.
One pushing against the other equals resistance.
And usually the net result of that is-big surprise!-no change.
It creates a static situation in which nothing can move, since both are so busy pushing or pushing back.
And how about when the battleground for such a struggle lies within us? One part of us is pushing against another part of us.
That's what feeling stuck is all about.
On the other hand, unconditional acceptance facilitates change faster than anything else I know.
Total acceptance and friendliness toward oneself and others sets the stage and invites a spaciousness into which the willingness to change can emerge.
It opens us to wanting move off the spot we're on, and allows us to create more fulfilling and effective ways of behaving and relating.
It actually invites us to claim and act from our personal power.
When we really know we're OK the way we are, then we're truly free to make different choices.
But, you say, how can I accept some of the things about me or others when I don't like them, they make me angry or unhappy, it's not what I want...
why should I accept them? Well, here's the most compelling reason - WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE! If we can shift from searching for perfection in our personalities, to making it a priority to soften our resistance to those parts of us that need most to be loved and accepted we'll raise our vibration and improve our experience across the board.
What we want to be aiming for is to move ever deeper into that sense of "yep, that's me, warts and all", and then, move into the next moment full of love and acceptance for our humanity-just as we would with a beloved child.
Every day there are so many opportunities to offer no resistance, but to offer instead, unconditional acceptance of our own humanness and that of the people around us.
And once we understand that we are here on this Earth to play with the melding of our human and divine natures, we can relax and accept that we are indeed, human and that's ok..
..
in fact, it's exactly what we chose! Really, nothing will create change faster in your human personality, or that of another, than hearing on a regular basis: "You're a member of the human race, sweetheart.
Those things you call "mistakes" are just you learning, so don't worry about it.
I always love you no matter what.
And I have such faith in you, that I know that everything in your life is going to work out fine.
You can't get it wrong, you can only learn and grow! Louise Hay suggests us in her best-selling book, You Can Heal Your Body! that we say "I approve of myself!" hundreds of times each day.
Can you imagine the sigh of relief, the inner loosening, the relaxing into the moment that we might experience at hearing such messages daily--messages that affirm our inherent goodness AND our humanity, side by side.
We are all, as one book title suggests, stumbling toward the light...
and that's exactly as it is meant to be.
If we were already aware at all times that we were standing fully in the light it, there'd be no stumbling, would there? We might not even have chosen to come to Earth! We actually came here to dance with these things and remember the essential truth of ourselves.
So back to our original question: "What if this is who you really are?" Isn't that cause to celebrate? I think so! So here's to change that comes from loving and accepting ourselves more fully and more deeply.
And out of that love, making different choices for ourselves that honor and reflect our true nature more accurately.
Choices that serve our needs a whole lot better.
Now, that's the kind of radical change that could transform a life! © Janice Masters 2003
Think about it.
If every day in some way, someone important to you, pointed out your flaws and told you what you should do to correct them, how would you end up feeling about yourself? And how would you respond? Most of us would want to run from that sort of experience.
I learned very early on in my career as a coach and therapist that "what you resist, persists".
In other words, trying to "strong arm" yourself, or anyone else for that matter, will almost always result in a power struggle.
One pushing against the other equals resistance.
And usually the net result of that is-big surprise!-no change.
It creates a static situation in which nothing can move, since both are so busy pushing or pushing back.
And how about when the battleground for such a struggle lies within us? One part of us is pushing against another part of us.
That's what feeling stuck is all about.
On the other hand, unconditional acceptance facilitates change faster than anything else I know.
Total acceptance and friendliness toward oneself and others sets the stage and invites a spaciousness into which the willingness to change can emerge.
It opens us to wanting move off the spot we're on, and allows us to create more fulfilling and effective ways of behaving and relating.
It actually invites us to claim and act from our personal power.
When we really know we're OK the way we are, then we're truly free to make different choices.
But, you say, how can I accept some of the things about me or others when I don't like them, they make me angry or unhappy, it's not what I want...
why should I accept them? Well, here's the most compelling reason - WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE! If we can shift from searching for perfection in our personalities, to making it a priority to soften our resistance to those parts of us that need most to be loved and accepted we'll raise our vibration and improve our experience across the board.
What we want to be aiming for is to move ever deeper into that sense of "yep, that's me, warts and all", and then, move into the next moment full of love and acceptance for our humanity-just as we would with a beloved child.
Every day there are so many opportunities to offer no resistance, but to offer instead, unconditional acceptance of our own humanness and that of the people around us.
And once we understand that we are here on this Earth to play with the melding of our human and divine natures, we can relax and accept that we are indeed, human and that's ok..
..
in fact, it's exactly what we chose! Really, nothing will create change faster in your human personality, or that of another, than hearing on a regular basis: "You're a member of the human race, sweetheart.
Those things you call "mistakes" are just you learning, so don't worry about it.
I always love you no matter what.
And I have such faith in you, that I know that everything in your life is going to work out fine.
You can't get it wrong, you can only learn and grow! Louise Hay suggests us in her best-selling book, You Can Heal Your Body! that we say "I approve of myself!" hundreds of times each day.
Can you imagine the sigh of relief, the inner loosening, the relaxing into the moment that we might experience at hearing such messages daily--messages that affirm our inherent goodness AND our humanity, side by side.
We are all, as one book title suggests, stumbling toward the light...
and that's exactly as it is meant to be.
If we were already aware at all times that we were standing fully in the light it, there'd be no stumbling, would there? We might not even have chosen to come to Earth! We actually came here to dance with these things and remember the essential truth of ourselves.
So back to our original question: "What if this is who you really are?" Isn't that cause to celebrate? I think so! So here's to change that comes from loving and accepting ourselves more fully and more deeply.
And out of that love, making different choices for ourselves that honor and reflect our true nature more accurately.
Choices that serve our needs a whole lot better.
Now, that's the kind of radical change that could transform a life! © Janice Masters 2003