Find Good Role Models
Find Good Role Models
Updated June 10, 2015.
If your parents have addictions, they are not showing you a healthy way of preparing for being an adult. They are showing you that addictions are the way to solve your problems and to enjoy life.
To avoid becoming like them, look to other adults who you admire, and find some good “role models.” Role models are people who already are the way that you would like to be. They could be a teacher, a counselor, a friend’s parent, a doctor, or someone else who you would like to be like when you grow up.
Notice the way they talk to other people, the way they dress, and the way they handle situations. It is OK to be like adults who are not your parents, especially if they are healthy, happy and kind.
Find Healthy Ways to Deal With Pain
Updated June 10, 2015.
Everyone gets hurt. It is part of being human. No-one likes pain, but it is an important way for your body to tell you something is wrong.
When you get hurt, think about what your body is telling you. If you have a headache, do you need to take a break, let off steam, or relax? If you have a stomach ache, do you need to eat or drink, are you nervous, or do you feel bad about something else that happened to you?
Whatever the reason, it is important to figure it out and take care of yourself. If you often feel pain, it might be a good idea to talk to a doctor, school nurse or counselor. Trying to cover up the pain by taking medication is only a good idea if you are ill and a doctor or nurse has told you to take it.
Feel Good About Your Body
Updated June 10, 2015.
Your body changes a lot as you grow up, but you should never feel bad about it. The changes you go through are natural and healthy, even though they are sometimes uncomfortable. A healthy diet with a wide range of different food, including fruit and vegetables, is an important part of keeping your body looking and feeling good.
Exercise also helps keep your body looking and feeling good, and can be as simple as a daily walk around your neighborhood or local park.
Take time to try on different clothes, and figure out what looks and feels good on you, even if you don’t have a lot of money to spend on clothes. Then when you do get a chance to buy new clothes, you will look great, and that will help you feel good about your body.
Make Your Own Decisions
Updated June 10, 2015.
Making decisions can be scary, and sometimes it can seem easier to leave the important decisions to someone else. Some parents insist on making their children’s decisions for them. But if your parent has an addiction, they are not very good at making decisions for themselves, let alone anyone else.
If you need help making decisions, talk to another person who you think understands and knows what is best for you.
This might be a relative, teacher, or another person you trust. When you grow up, which will be sooner than you think, you will have to make decisions on your own, so it makes sense to learn how to make good decisions now.
If you don’t get to make many of your own decisions, try to practice by making choices whenever you can. Don’t just copy what the other kids do, think about what you really want, and what is best for you. You don’t have to explain your choice, you are making the decision for yourself, not anyone else.
A good way of making decisions is to think about the good things and the not-so-good things that will happen for each choice you could make. For example, if you are choosing what to eat for lunch, you can think about what you would most enjoy, what would be most healthy, and what would fill you up until you can eat again.
Thinking about all of these things, rather than just one of them, will help you make the right choice. If you end up choosing the wrong food, you can remember the experience and make a different choice the next time.
Find Ways to Let Out Your Feelings
Updated June 10, 2015.
How do people in your family deal with strong feelings, such as anger, excitement, or sadness? Some families express everything whenever they feel it. This can be scary, with you never knowing what is coming next. Other families keep all of their feelings in. Then you end up feeling bad about what you feel inside, or that you are different from everyone else.
Handling feelings is difficult for everyone, no matter what their age.
But there are lots of ways you can let your feelings out in ways that are good for you. Here are some ideas.
Talk to a friend or caring adult. Sometimes just talking about what you are feeling can make the feeling go away. Do something physical. Go for a walk, play a game of tennis or basketball, or go for a swim. This will naturally make you feel better. Write a journal or diary. Writing down what you are feeling can let it out, and help you make sense of what is going on.
If you feel angry or sad a lot of the time, talk to a doctor or nurse, or call a helpline. There are lots of ways they can help you, and you should never feel you just have to put up with things if you are this unhappy.
Keep Good Relationships Alive
Updated June 10, 2015.
Having a parent with an addiction can make it embarrassing or difficult to bring friends home. But it is important to keep your friendships going. Joining clubs or having places you go with your friends on a regular basis is a good way of keeping friendships alive.
It is important to have fun with your friends, as well as talking about problems.
Find Someone to Listen and Understand
Updated June 10, 2015.
Parents with addictions are sometimes difficult to talk to, perhaps because they don’t make time for you, or don’t understand the things that matter to you. When this happens, you need to find someone else to talk to. Friends are good to talk to about some things, but at other times it is good to talk to an adult.
Calling a helpline can be good, especially to get started with getting help for yourself.
School counselors and teachers can also be helpful. If there is an emergency, like if your parent hurts you or someone else badly, or if they seem very ill, you can call 911.
Find Ways to Have Fun
Updated June 10, 2015.
Having fun is an important part of life for everyone. What is fun for some people is not fun at all for other people, so it is important that you do things you truly enjoy. Just because your friends or family enjoy it doesn’t mean it has to be fun for you.
If you enjoy physical activities, try and find a way to join a sports team or use gym equipment at your local community center. If you prefer reading, look into events at your local library.
The important thing is that you enjoy it.
If your parents say you can’t afford it, ask at the community center about programs for low-income families. Your parents may not have to pay very much, or it may even be free.
Updated June 10, 2015.
When your parents have addictions, you can end up feeling bad about yourself. You might feel you are to blame, or that you are not a good person. Neither of these things is true, and you should not believe it, even if someone says it to you.
Find ways of celebrating everything you do that feels important to you, even if your parents don’t notice, or celebrate with you. One way of doing this is with a book of accomplishments.
This is like a diary or journal, and you can use it to write down everything you do and everything that happens that made you feel good about yourself.
When times get hard, you can read through it and it will help you remember what an awesome person you are!
Updated June 10, 2015.
Having a parent with an addiction is stressful, and can make it difficult to relax. Relaxation is important in lots of ways –- it keeps you healthy, it helps you to think and grow, and it helps you to cope when times are hard. Your parents may not show you healthy ways to relax, but it is important to relax at the end of each day.
Try to get into a relaxing routine each evening before bed. Here are some things that will help you relax:
Read a book or comic (you can borrow books and comics for free from the library) Listen to calming music (you can borrow CDs for free from the library) Take a warm bath Lie down and close your eyes, and don't think about anything for a while Breathe in and out as slowly as you can If you believe in God, pray Imagine a safe, calm place where you feel at peace
Updated June 10, 2015.
If your parents have addictions, they are not showing you a healthy way of preparing for being an adult. They are showing you that addictions are the way to solve your problems and to enjoy life.
To avoid becoming like them, look to other adults who you admire, and find some good “role models.” Role models are people who already are the way that you would like to be. They could be a teacher, a counselor, a friend’s parent, a doctor, or someone else who you would like to be like when you grow up.
Notice the way they talk to other people, the way they dress, and the way they handle situations. It is OK to be like adults who are not your parents, especially if they are healthy, happy and kind.
Find Healthy Ways to Deal With Pain
Updated June 10, 2015.
Everyone gets hurt. It is part of being human. No-one likes pain, but it is an important way for your body to tell you something is wrong.
When you get hurt, think about what your body is telling you. If you have a headache, do you need to take a break, let off steam, or relax? If you have a stomach ache, do you need to eat or drink, are you nervous, or do you feel bad about something else that happened to you?
Whatever the reason, it is important to figure it out and take care of yourself. If you often feel pain, it might be a good idea to talk to a doctor, school nurse or counselor. Trying to cover up the pain by taking medication is only a good idea if you are ill and a doctor or nurse has told you to take it.
Feel Good About Your Body
Updated June 10, 2015.
Your body changes a lot as you grow up, but you should never feel bad about it. The changes you go through are natural and healthy, even though they are sometimes uncomfortable. A healthy diet with a wide range of different food, including fruit and vegetables, is an important part of keeping your body looking and feeling good.
Exercise also helps keep your body looking and feeling good, and can be as simple as a daily walk around your neighborhood or local park.
Take time to try on different clothes, and figure out what looks and feels good on you, even if you don’t have a lot of money to spend on clothes. Then when you do get a chance to buy new clothes, you will look great, and that will help you feel good about your body.
Make Your Own Decisions
Updated June 10, 2015.
Making decisions can be scary, and sometimes it can seem easier to leave the important decisions to someone else. Some parents insist on making their children’s decisions for them. But if your parent has an addiction, they are not very good at making decisions for themselves, let alone anyone else.
If you need help making decisions, talk to another person who you think understands and knows what is best for you.
This might be a relative, teacher, or another person you trust. When you grow up, which will be sooner than you think, you will have to make decisions on your own, so it makes sense to learn how to make good decisions now.
If you don’t get to make many of your own decisions, try to practice by making choices whenever you can. Don’t just copy what the other kids do, think about what you really want, and what is best for you. You don’t have to explain your choice, you are making the decision for yourself, not anyone else.
A good way of making decisions is to think about the good things and the not-so-good things that will happen for each choice you could make. For example, if you are choosing what to eat for lunch, you can think about what you would most enjoy, what would be most healthy, and what would fill you up until you can eat again.
Thinking about all of these things, rather than just one of them, will help you make the right choice. If you end up choosing the wrong food, you can remember the experience and make a different choice the next time.
Find Ways to Let Out Your Feelings
Updated June 10, 2015.
How do people in your family deal with strong feelings, such as anger, excitement, or sadness? Some families express everything whenever they feel it. This can be scary, with you never knowing what is coming next. Other families keep all of their feelings in. Then you end up feeling bad about what you feel inside, or that you are different from everyone else.
Handling feelings is difficult for everyone, no matter what their age.
But there are lots of ways you can let your feelings out in ways that are good for you. Here are some ideas.
If you feel angry or sad a lot of the time, talk to a doctor or nurse, or call a helpline. There are lots of ways they can help you, and you should never feel you just have to put up with things if you are this unhappy.
Keep Good Relationships Alive
Updated June 10, 2015.
Having a parent with an addiction can make it embarrassing or difficult to bring friends home. But it is important to keep your friendships going. Joining clubs or having places you go with your friends on a regular basis is a good way of keeping friendships alive.
It is important to have fun with your friends, as well as talking about problems.
Find Someone to Listen and Understand
Updated June 10, 2015.
Parents with addictions are sometimes difficult to talk to, perhaps because they don’t make time for you, or don’t understand the things that matter to you. When this happens, you need to find someone else to talk to. Friends are good to talk to about some things, but at other times it is good to talk to an adult.
Calling a helpline can be good, especially to get started with getting help for yourself.
School counselors and teachers can also be helpful. If there is an emergency, like if your parent hurts you or someone else badly, or if they seem very ill, you can call 911.
Find Ways to Have Fun
Updated June 10, 2015.
Having fun is an important part of life for everyone. What is fun for some people is not fun at all for other people, so it is important that you do things you truly enjoy. Just because your friends or family enjoy it doesn’t mean it has to be fun for you.
If you enjoy physical activities, try and find a way to join a sports team or use gym equipment at your local community center. If you prefer reading, look into events at your local library.
The important thing is that you enjoy it.
If your parents say you can’t afford it, ask at the community center about programs for low-income families. Your parents may not have to pay very much, or it may even be free.
Updated June 10, 2015.
When your parents have addictions, you can end up feeling bad about yourself. You might feel you are to blame, or that you are not a good person. Neither of these things is true, and you should not believe it, even if someone says it to you.
Find ways of celebrating everything you do that feels important to you, even if your parents don’t notice, or celebrate with you. One way of doing this is with a book of accomplishments.
This is like a diary or journal, and you can use it to write down everything you do and everything that happens that made you feel good about yourself.
When times get hard, you can read through it and it will help you remember what an awesome person you are!
Updated June 10, 2015.
Having a parent with an addiction is stressful, and can make it difficult to relax. Relaxation is important in lots of ways –- it keeps you healthy, it helps you to think and grow, and it helps you to cope when times are hard. Your parents may not show you healthy ways to relax, but it is important to relax at the end of each day.
Try to get into a relaxing routine each evening before bed. Here are some things that will help you relax: