LATCH KEY CHILD

Through eyes of ages years that have seen many sights from experience, I see you of an afternoon walking your way home.  There is a glow of inner sadness reflecting about you which I can not help but feel.  Young child of youthful years where do you go to now after school?  Is it to a mansion of richness splendid filled with hate of wealth or is it to a simple home of warmth you go to where there is always a feeling of belonging and love?   Or is it to a house of haunting depression with rooms full of emptiness which you enter into?

Do you have anything to do once there, anything for you to believe in. Is there anywhere for you to go to?  From where sit I warmed by the dying glow of a setting sun.  I can feel the sense of sadness that floods your heart as you walk along the cold shaded street.  How I wish that I could share your time and walk beside you.

Latch key child why do people not come out of their hiding and try to know you better for you are one of those who will be of tomorrow, can they really be so blind as not to see the real value hidden deep within you?  Know you well then please, it is saddening to me knowing what you are going through.  Latch key child there with no one to greet you, to share of your day and all that is has had with you.  Thought there is someone here who would like to help you, of my trust there is none whom you feel comfortable with, so I close my eyes and let you pass by on your way.

Of the life which walks home alone into a cold world of lovelessness, well it come to a depressing young end or will it survive to become a meaningful existence of joy in times yet to come your way?  In slow yet balanced motion your clear eyes stare down at the evening ground of cold wet shadows on a street of rain filled puddles.  How you walk ever so slowly with an ageing school bag unde your left arm.  In my mind I called out to you, your ears never heard my silent voice nor did you turn your head to see my watching eyes that began to drown in tears of lacking ability to help another of equal form.

I see her no more now in a time of old so gone, let alone I wonder what thoughts past through her youthful mind as she slid from view to lay in silence and loneliness between the cold steel rails in the last quiet of a winter's evening dusk.  Would love then have seen her hear alive today?  For it was a simple word that she so begged for that would have shown her that love was there within her reach.  Though now that the winter of her life is over, she never knew that snow was falling on green fields of spring's bloom.  I never knew of love in a child's way, so how then could I have been expected to give of this to you.

Dave F. Ryan    April 9, 1973

 RAIN.

Her Name was rain and she came from the skies  I was cold and alone the night she came to me now I look back as it all and wonder why she was so gentle and such comfort to me alone on that cold wet night and distant from home, rain was my only friend as I walked on along through the darkness.

I think of her and wonder in whose time she will end  How I hope that she will come again to me when I walk alone with darkness for company and let me feel peace of mind and warmth as she descends how simple at times is her sheer beauty.  On through the clouded night I walked with rain falling beside me with each trodden step  Darkness there about me in ominous silence telling of no tale.  But rain will come and go for she is not like me, this I know for we are different objects of time that is each to it's own.  As she fell beside me I let her waste under my feet, for I had no pail which to collect the story she had to tell me.

Dave F.  Ryan   February,1973

THOUGHTS OF A FRIEND.

Your life is a hours for the spirit of love  You are young and have never forgotten you yourself were once a child  You are once of God's own special children who know well the beauty of having been given the joy of life.  There have been times when you have taken me into the silent insecure world of a lonely child.

The depth of your thoughts is like an endless tunnel through time. Strong are your feelings for all forms of life, which is living about you. Deep are your natural dreams of an endless stream of love and kindness.  Your heart is a cloudless sky of compassion through which you have let me sore to feel your soft and gentle nature. You have shared with me a joy that is a unique part of you.

Your clear eyes stare at beauty of which at times I am sadly blind  True, your vast knowledge of life here is often greater than those who are  Most near to you in times living.  If then in any way be it small or large, I may have darkened the clearness of you, with sadness of shame, then please know that I am very sorry for my lowness.  When your chosen time in passing days of life's memories are clouded by death's cold lonely dimness, know then now you well that I will stand surrounded by a mist of deep sadness because of your leaving.

Dave F. Ryan   January 7,  1974

THE DEEP AND PURE THOUGHTS HIDDEN IN A YOUTHFUL MIND

How sad now am I on realizing of your life's joys will never again be mine to share or be a part of during my time here remaining.  Though now I see that he to knowledge of his past is blind, can only fail in the future, because ignorance remains of his past faults.

Bitterly now my sight blind by closed eyes and so hence heedless by a lustful greed thus preventing from seeing beyond the cold clouds of engulfed shame.  Even now is suffering with pain filled tear sand nights sleepless, the damage to you done by my selfish soul, I can not destroy.  It is what you know and think of that remains a state of lasting damage to your way of life, though what happened then of which remains hidden in the depths of your youthful mind to the will of your thoughts, will like a closed gate to your future, linger.

Low not through eyes of angered hurt on those who have hearts and lips of evil towards you, instead forgive them their uncultured despair with your refined level of understanding, by sharing with them your love compassion, for know you will, when so used by a clear thinking mind, is a powerful weapon upon those who are of spirit lost.

Look deeply upon people deeply and learn to judge the ambience of real value by what one has to say, what one has to offer mankind and by what one would like you to believe one to be.  Respect then strongly those who treat as though you are their own spirit in times monitions towards fulfilment.

Remember then you well to fear no man, for they are as much human as you are.  Each is within his cadre, here by right of birth, so then from your heart, respect them all knowing that within, they are people too and it matters not that they maybe your enemy or friend.  For true it is that those you see and like, if you treat them as though they are important people in the time of your earthly life.  You then will be justly rewarded by what you give away freely to them from your heart.

Upon your shoulders strong, you have of wisdom, do not give into it's sad games that from time it may ask of you to explore, for thinking is an energy of thought.  Waste and you are defeating the purpose of your mind to perform the estate of creativity , for you are the master of your physical earthly life.  See then yourself as do my eyes so see, a child who is in search of love, peace, respect and the chance that someone you know can be trusted, will help you unfold into the adult yet to be within you, to be pure in mind of which you came here in life to be.  In this search, note you well those who are first to lay you dawn, may be your most true admirers of your sincere efforts for existing among those, the many who are also like you, are here in search for a road to their future reason of being in times past.

Leave you I do by saying there is little to be gained of value if you by looking back along the road that time has unveiled to you, unless you, unless you have eyes strong enough to find the road the road into the future.  Though if in your search of your future, you sadly fail to understand the true meaning of real, I will wonder if it was because your eyes expected to see the soles of your enervated feet encrusted in dust of gold?

Dave F.  Ryan November 1974 (revised February 15, 1997)

ON LOAN TO THIS WORLD

Here am I on loan to this world.  In no way am I different to anyone else. To me through the passage of time there have been many doors opened in life but with sad and selfish blindness have I closed them all.  Thus turning away from the stairway that leads one to the higher levels.  I have cut myself off from many goal's that were at times there within my humble, yet unworthy reach.  So now as ageing eyes tiredly gaze back along the road once travelled, clearly all is seen through the pale dying light of dusk.

Thought the future is written of history now past, my faith of little is a wall which my strength is unsure of bounding clear of.  Were then in this time does it end to reveal the real and true meaning of that which was lost.  Is it then not for me to know but for those who are to follow with their own life?  I hope that in some way, however small of large, you may learn of a way through that which I strived to leave behind.  Were though will it lead me to see what is the meaning of our past meetings?  As low in respect and value of you, though with time, my eyes have not seen the true reason for the way I have used you.  Moreover, in years to come as the paten fits more into a logical place, vaguely then you may see but this I believe will not be mine to know or share, for I am the future and that which is of history, so therefore, I can not in anyway that is real, know with certainty the impact or purpose of the many cruel and yet joyful meeting that have been ours to know of.

Whether then I remain a memory or fall dormant in the distant valleys of your ever searching mind, I feel that my real purpose for our meeting has failed and by so doing I have lost the hold on the stairway to a far greater goal that could have been mine to achieve for the truly it was there.  Be then you happy now for in your youth you have gained the joy of a lasting knowledge that will remain within you in the years yet to come.  Have then you respect for all which has happened to you, fear not you those who avoid the sharpness of your clear and innocent thoughtful mind.  Remember that you too are here only on loan, so then do you well with what you have been given to work with, see that which is yours as a gift to be used in a way that will leave those here about you, with a feeling of both grateful and thankfulness that they had the pleasure and joy of knowing you.  Strive well then hard in your task that whatever you leave behind, those to follow will find something of both joy and pleasure, from someone like you who once lived here before their own time.  Never allow yourself to sit high above this which you may achieve in any way, for to do so will sadly cause you to lose it as it falls about you into waste which was granted to you.

Let your young mind guide your actions, thoughts and innocent consciousness that your actions may spread out from you in a pure omni of love, faith and sincerity like an awakening sun.  A new and lasting awareness,  For you too are but one small and very important part of this enormous life that all who are here have within.  Only a passing yet beautiful loan of time on this world to achieve what their life was to them, given for.

Dave F. Ryan   November 9, 1976

  

THOUGHTS OF YOUR HOMELAND.

From where you came from I know of not, but your being here is enough.  I am happy within for the opportunity I have had to know of you.  You are another person from another land and time has offered me a chance to meet you.  From a far distant land came you here to search for what you believe to be right from wrong. Reasons that I fail to comprehend, you left behind a country that is your homeland

Many I know now can never return to the land of their birth.  For me, living here as I do is home, because within the confines of this land is my place of birth.  A haven that I can return to at will, without fear of threat or risk.  There must be many like you who still within, carry painful memories of a time past, where trapped in your hurt memory, are events that will not leave or dispel the image there of.

Events which we of this land are unable to imagine of what in the live of some could be born in thought from the minds of other human forms from your land.  Such as we are when blind, think such an event remotely possible.  How sad it is to have been born within the "Lucky Country."  Where our thoughts are often fed of ignorance.

To us this country is our land, yet to the world this land is seen as a child and we the life of the child as being spoilt by our freedom, it is now our values which stand to suffer.  Your righteousness to us is a truthful threat to our affluent and wasteful way of lifestyle.  We wrangle of hardships, but are ours hardships or simply a reluctance to change our ways?

This land we live on, we can claim no ownership of, fortunately for us no one has tried to take from us what is here.  There is no force to make us leave, nor are we subjected to the humiliation for what we speak out of from the thoughts held within; yes free we are to express those, our thoughts.  From you there is much we can learn from of your way of life if, that is, we allow ourselves the time to listen to your imbuing expediencies.

But of this, many here do not avail there eyes and ears.  For what you have seen an known, to us here, could never really have happened, could it?   So therefore, in our minds it never really could have eventuated.  How painfully backward must we be!  For in the search of truth, we stumble blindly over truth yet child like, on regaining our posture, stagger aimlessly onwards in ever failing efforts in search of what is under our tired feet.

First and foremost, you are a breed of people of this race called human, of the air there you once breathed, is it not the same air here we breath?  Thus winds from afar carry this gift without judgmental discrimination, that all here may live. What thoughts are given if any, to the painful secrets of man's shame that it is unable to share with us.

Of those years now behind you, many thoughts, feelings and tears have come to your aged ageing mind.  We of this land still know not, how to see about us from the view seen through your eyes.  To this country came you in belief that the past was now escaped from but you think not.  Here you again suffer dilapidation, not from guns or force, but simply thoughtless words from people who do not know of the thoughts trapped with in the prison of your mind.

They understand not of your ways which to you are as natural as our ways to you are strange. How lowly and cruel this shock must be to you after what all you have left behind, though still freshly entrapped in your mind's image.  Now in hindsight I am left saddened for the way I too helped in this silent torture of mind games thus causing hurt to those so inflicted at.  I knew then not of what you knew from life's experience that you sough an escape from.  The view seen from my friends eyes was valued more than of your humiliated feelings of deep inner rejection.  Yet, of one who harm's, is then self harmed three fold more in return.

My eyes now tearful at the thoughts of what you have seen people do to people who are also guest of this world. What right is given them to think that they are better?  Yet they, not of your land, through greed expected you to surrender to them, this your homeland.  Why should this be?  For what is of your's is your's.  So how different from them are you really?  Inwardly I see your values are at times better than mine, from you there is a lot I can learn.  At times I am bitter that I am of this land, for your land's history has so much more to offer with it's aged colour an wisdom towards love.  Welcome then to a rich country which is still only s child, young and spoilt learning to mature with ageing.

Dave F. Ryan   May 24, 1984

TYRANNIZE YOUTH.  A VICTIM.

Daily I see you, a life which is living in a time of which to you is your very own special tenure.  Oh youth of teenage years, there alone with innocent eyes looking sadly it seems to me as you gaze out onto a world that is some way, is strangely foreign to your consciousness of age you are so trapped in, this time of your youthfulness.  There within your gaze of inexperienced life, you can see a world of people whom time was heir youthful imprisonment, has now long since passed away.  For them their age has gone into many caves of vague and distant memories. They have been released and the passage of time now gone by, has hardened their hearts towards you.  They know little of the feelings which to you are so very real and natural as is your youthfulness; it is this which has you perplexed in your own age.  For they care little of your hungered needs as both of you go about sharing your time with those of this earth. In pained silence I listen, for I hear your silent cries very clearly of what it is you're shouting out for.  Simply it is, help me for I am ever so scared, lost and trapped alone in a time I feel has being forgotten about.  Sadly how true this is, adults hear not your cries for they wish not to. Respect, understanding and assurance of your asking for a truthfulness of your needs towards learning.  Be then not saddened with the taxing task of searching for those with ears who are willing to hear your faint cries as you seek the outlet for the inner most need of self-expression.  Have faith in knowing that those ears are about you now.  Let this strengthen your will with confidence.  Down low in the valley of your deepest thoughts you are aware of what is happening about you in the age that you are a part of.  Does this scare you at all?  That which is going on by day within your vision.  Has sad it must be for you to observe those who here before you in time, those replaced from their youthful chains of imprisonment.  They walk on by seemingly blind through the cold darkness, drowning in their own self-worthlessness.  Do you pity them for their lack of direction?  Have they really lost that basic act to share of their experience now so long passed with that of your needs?  This to me is dolorous, for they see you failed in the captivity of your youthful fears from which you are only seeking the chance to escape. To have your freedom in which to share of their jaundiced time.  They can't see that you seek only to help them: you ask only for a chance to prove that you too can do as well, if not better you though to them are a threat, so when you do escape and find your release, I hope you will not touch with these painful years of inexperienced life which to you now, is so real.  Youth of teenage years there alone in life looking with innocent eyes.  Please know then I to feel your painfulness, for I am left saddened by your natural imprisonment within the mind of your youth, for tyrannised thoughts are trapped there within.  Learn then you well your release by escape is at your own will and command of your thinking.  For what you think will be what you feel.  Strive to be happy and content with the life you have been blessed with, ride well the train of time into your future.  You are special among many, no better or less you are you who is here to be you through the complex movement along time through life.  End each day in heart filled thankfulness that you are a living being who is alive.  Youth is but only a very small passage of time for your to pass through, that all must experience along their way towards life's earthly end.

Dave F. Ryan   April 19, 1985

WHAT IS IN A NAME I WONDER

Innocently have you come like all who are here on loan to life, onto this world from the warm protection of your mother from whom you slipped into life for a moment of time.  This time you came as a girl who has grown into the pulchritudinous woman that you are.  So alive with charm, it is easy to glance back in time and dream of a woman living in an age now passed to history.  Such women then had a joyful ecstasy about them that is missing in today's life style, but is still there within you.  Kind is your spirit to this life you brought along that others may be warmly aroused at your being here.  For you are a woman and a special moment of life.

To you life's love for living is as natural and strong as is that of your mother's love for her natural children of birth.  People to you come and go, some leave you with the magic of their memories, which return as pleasant moments of time long since faded to history, while others leave you of their passing, feeling sad and hurt.  An awareness that you to them, mean nothing.  You in being here only seen as a vacuity, an outlet for their own low charisma and contempt.  Yet there are others who come to pass leaving you with a warm feeling inside and happy that you are a woman at being able to delight them with your charisma, a flowing radiance from within of your soul.  Then when you are out of sight, how quickly are their thoughts of you, forgotten that their need for you now is used.  Left to feel that the essence with is but an object here for their personal comfort and pleasure of use.

You have left with me an imperishable moment of time that has you forever trapped, a captive to my ever grateful memory from having come to know you.  As the years of the future slowly unfolds, you will always remain as you are now. This short moment in passing will always be here, a value of a woman pure in spirit, happy that she is of this time, happy also am I that we are of this same block in time which has permitted my restless eyes to see you.   Of your being I knew of not, but for a leading of thoughts without knowing why, I would not have been where you were as the same time had I not stopped then, and of you I would never have known existed.  The unique form of harmonious opulence.  A chance that has captured your age in an image that will never change with ageing as you with time, must change.  Of that moment, a gift freely given to me by you to which I am more than thankful to you  How happy he will be who you chose to share of the time you have in life before you as a friend special.

Inwardly I know you are of a pure natural form, a woman happy that she is of this birth design.  Like all who have been before you to this life and those yet from you to be.  You have a magic quality that is to women, their own personal gift of birth.  Of life's small joyful moments of bliss that comes with growing towards one's age, you have learned to enjoy this fully. Let then every moment of your being here in time be happy knowing that you are who you are and of this, no one else can ever be.  There is no one else here who is anything like you;  though there are several who are close.  No one can tell you how to live what is yours to live.  Therefore, of this time that is yours, live as you see and feel fit and proper; be kind to those who come your way for kindness to find and an return the gift.

Yes, use what you have wisely and without placing yourself in harms way by the greed of others.  You are a woman and thus have a quality that is only gifted to women and in so being gifted with, never let yourself become a victim to sadness by those who think you are here for their personal and selfish demands.  Feel sorry for them instead, for they are not of your level of love and comprehension of their own living creation which you are. You are a woman and therefore, a better quality of the human species of life.

Dave F. Ryan   October, 1990

TO ALL WHO ARE CREATURES OF CREATION.

Sparkling clear are you eyes like a early morning dew that gaze upon all who pass by your way.  Gentle is the manner too in which you live, knowing you are a life on loan to this world of old, where also many more who like you, live on loan to this time of motion.  Only a few like you though, are aware there is something special to which the life that is theirs for how ever long in motion of time to them, is granted.  By instinct you know there is a subtle difference of your fold, one of which is unique and of grate values to you and to all who are by birth, grow to become women.  For in you be being so born, is a higher quality than that of male.  A level where your kind alone know and behold the love and frustration that only a mother who without complaint of her task, will tolerate unceasingly.  For it is woman who has both the strength and ability to live on through time, working far into the plethora, where as her lesser form of companionship, withers at the effort so asked of him.  Your kind learns only too well from an early age, the hurt and suppression that is often inflected upon them.  Yet how well do you know the conviction that you were not born to be a slave of pleasure to the lesser life form.  Strong is your will and determination for achievement, you are a structure of competent creation with a purpose, which if those about you could only see through their closed eyes at the reason of your life being here. 

How quick you are to learn by being innocent of mind, you become a vulnerable creation to greed open to attack by those who enjoy the pleasure gained by abusing one like you, for the charm and wealth that you are of birth, now though blossomed with age into a young woman of much pulchritude of physical form, feeding the many eyes which are often hungered from starved lust.  Yet you know of your need within, as too, your limits of sharing.  This to you is natural as is being the woman you are.  There within is built within your spirit and mind, safety and awareness which protects you from most who seek to cause you harm.  Sadly though, not from all that is harmful about you are you shielded from despoilment.

By nature, woman is a gentle and peaceful creation, one who waits for her time to come when she will offer love and caring to a child what will be of her own magical incipience, can be a mother.  Life within life which only one of your fold can really comprehend, though with this joy comes a pain which only you can fully encompass, your companion has not the ability to cognize of this personal feminine pain inimitable to one who gives birth to another.  God it is said, created man before women, but then all Grate Masters fist assemble an imprecise image before the conclusion of their masterpiece.  Adam then before Eve came and thus a creation made of fineness has been past down throughout the generations ever since.  To be a woman though, is to be a complex maze of living energy, one which in unique the this life form, one made different in design, thinking, speaking, reasoning and one who has the natural ability to plan an organize life about her.  You are blessed with having the ability and strength, perseverance and energy to continue to the end when those about you of the lesser form, weaken.  Top all who are women; it is for me a pleasure to be here in life sharing of the same earth as you. Sad to me I feel of those who were here before my time that a chance to have known them was not meant to be of my pleasure.  Because of their design, those here whom I do see about me, there exist a barrier of privacy that I can not enter, though having seen of them their face, is to me a silent gift of warmth.

For someone knows you as either their best friend, if not daughter, if not their wife.  How clear my eyes see of your depth when into my view you come, a real and live form, which is living independent of any external control.  A creation ever so capable of thought and ability from within, to chose what she sees and pleases her abundant emotion of contentment. Being here to see one like you walk past, I wonder where it is you go to, where from in life you came and who you have as friends, what you like to do with the life to you yet unspent.  Are you a mother I wonder of young lives growing, or have you your spirit suffered the sadness inflicted by an excuse of poor existence who calls himself, a man?  To be one whom you so chose in your time here to be a friend for the time remaining of life in you, would be a priceless affably.  Though would I in return, be of your level to sustain the happiness within you that you rightly deserve?   Would I attain the depth of quality your life energy needs or would I only bring you down to equal my lowly level of human existence., thus damaging the pure quality which is you in being born to be a woman.?   I watch as you in motion pass and feast the hungered eyes which see the vibrant glow shimmering about you and thus, know that your level of energy is overpowering to my humble form of human existence living.  Intimidated I weaken into a mass of jelly too frighten to do little more that look on the superb attractiveness of you as before me passing my sight of aged eyes.  Yes, how splendid are you who by design of birth, live in harmony with the life as do all who are creatures of creation.

Dave F. Ryan   November 15, 1990

LOVE AND THOUGHTS

Of this my life I have now come to realize the true value it is to you.  A time of birth which was to you a time of joy and yet painful torture that only a mother can know of.   Though did I of this ask for that time spent within the warmth and security of your life?  No!  Nor did I know of you then when you were in your time.  In those years which to us have past, how little in thought for the torment and worry which unknowingly was caused to you by my desire for exploring all of that which was about the world of your small child.

Only you alone know of that feeling an inner dread, the absentness of your child, for a mother can really experience such inner perplexity of fear.  If then you find in my moments of silence a failing to understand me, then worry yourself not for those moments of silence are to me times of inner learning that I value dearly.  This to me is a gift in time that only I can experience as you to your own silence, a personal experience, a time which all must know and have

 So why then of nature fearful and uneasy must you be, when in those moments of deep inner thoughts you find me hard to comprehend?  Be you though ever mindful that in these moments of quiet silence, we can share our greatest joys, the fondness and devotion of a mother and child.  If of my way in growing you fail to comprehend, then how do you expect this of me to grasp an understanding of the spoken thoughts you issue?  Of this my time in life that is now to hand, ever grateful I am for this gift that your are my mother.  Of that event which you were responsible for, know you well then that I am more then truly thankful of.  Happy am I for this joy of life which to you I am.  Of that time in which I was imprisoned within you, no one then could see let alone know what is now before you, that which I am.  Yes happy am I like many who are here in common with time, to an age with a chance in several to pave lasting pleasure, simply because of having value of life.

With your guidance taught by love have I been able to see how I now fit in with all that is about me.  Be you then content with your task with me these years of past happiness, for you have done well with your time of mothering a child of your creation.  Yes I do know that you will never stop being a mother, regardless of the child's age, though with ageing dies mothering, yet thankful and happy am I of your timer spent without complaint, a time given freely because you are the women that you are.  Understand now that you have helped me in the reality of which I am, by being a mum.  There is no other woman who can claim that title for my existence here, for only you can relish in that pleasure that is credited with that title.  True I am thankful for what I have achieved to which you are both responsible for, though now with age behind me, how wiser I have become from my past mistakes which hurt not only me, the hurt felt deep inside of you is far beyond my comprehension.  Though you are a women in nature and design, much of my hurt your bore with ease, but then you are a mother and of your choice, you gave a gift to this world in the form of your child.  But this is a virtue that only a mother can have and hide so well.

 There is little in the way of thanks that are freely given to you, so often you are expected to be there even when you are not really wanted.  Yet every day is in many ways, a mother's day, you are always expected to be on duty.  You have always been there when I was ill or in trouble of my own creation, yet in your eyes I was never ay fault.  Caught up with events that were way above my level of understanding, you always shone through with kind words of wisdom.  A word that led me to you regardless of my feelings of pride so hurt.  Of those years of painful worry, how lucky I am that those emotions will never experience for I am not like you in design.  I do understand of pain and desire to experienced the life within a life.  Of also the strong sensitivity of being a woman who is a mother.  Of your life before mine that time held before my time, the years that have past by under your ever sure guidance gifted by love.  That I would grow to share so that I too would come to offer my love to another with the faint hope that some of you would remain with me to pass on.  That one though not yet here might flourish as I have from your tender care.  Fear not for I was under your loving guidance which has grown to flow on into time that another will benefit; you did well in teaching me to understand the interact ways of a woman, the fragile complex structures which is strong, yet so delicate to abuse and paucity of one's self esteem.  You have taught me well, so thank you for being my mother.  A woman whom I would not have wanted any other to have had that title, for they did not seek a need for me as you did.

Dave F. Ryan   March 13, 1991 (revised May 12 1993).

TO STEAL OF YOUR TIME FOR A MOMENT BESIDE YOU.

To know of you as another person, a woman of natural form, beauty and motion, one who to another is a special friend, so then be it if love does not pass between us.  Yet to me, you are a gifted moment in time so shared by walking beside you.  My ears lightly touched by your soft voice when your lips spoke kind words.  The knowledge of being in the company of your presents is a priceless privilege; a valued gift indeed was that moment in time beside you.  From within your mother to this world you came, a priceless gift to her life.  By chance of fate we met and now know of each other, you a healthy form of rare earthly motion in an aura of perfection.  My eyes have seen deep into the inner woman you have grown to be.  Thankful am I yes for the privilege you freely offered me that I could savour an treasure the experience and joyfulness at having walked beside you in harmony.

Special are you in your life to another, whom of your choice shares with you time.  My time was before your time of coming so that your eyes could never have seen me as being special to your moment of life. By overlap in this time we befriended each other, how deep I value that moment beside you in passing.  In you I see a woman deep in quality of thought and esteem, for you are one who is natural in your outlook on life as you are of your feelings towards life which that is about you.  Peace and happiness, which come to you daily, are rewards for you value and treasure dearly.

Sorrowful it is to me that I can never come to know of you at your level, yet happy am I for the fleeting chance of your time so sheared with me.  A small gift given by your kindness of heart, for a faint insight to see the real you he sees you, your life chosen friend.  Thankyou for that moment of being here in which we are both trapped in, like prisoners and also, of you allowing me to know you by name.  You are not just a figure of form in passing.  But one who has come and shared her friendship that I could feel the aura about you and soothingly feel touched by you.  Yes you are a woman of this time, you are real a person, not some form of an image forever imposed to canvas.

Happy are the children so blessed as having you as their mother, a title from them which only you can have. You have also, a gift of natural feelings towards children, something only a mother is blessed with.  Of your understanding towards children your patience is deeper than of their father's.  Their love brings out the true inner woman which has always been there within you so that you can paint your world with rich colours to express your feminine kindness.

Happy is the woman who by her husband of equal esteem as she, is met more than halfway, in so helping her to be the whole woman which she was born to be.  You are at your best when you're allowed to be yourself to live the life trapped within you, only you know how best to live that which is there within you.  A woman does not demand this recognition, she is happy to accept this gift of being loved, of having companionship, friendship and to be respected so that her self-esteem will not fail her.  In you then I see a woman living her life, not merely here existing, but happy by her birth she is a woman.  I see you as a beautiful creation, there is much depth to this beauty, which is more than

Just an outward appearance.  It is also the warm inner nature that has flowered with your growing of years now pasted.  Knowing you in any other way, would be a special privileged gift to me, a gift of tremendous value far beyond all worldly treasures.  For such a privilege gifted from the kindness of your heart and thus, is  beyond priceless.  To share with you of such a value in a rare moment of kindness from the soul of human appreciation is further than my soul's humble expectations, for you are, after all, a creation of excellent standards unmatched by my existence.

Dave F. Ryan   April 23, 1991

THE WARMTH AND SOFTENSS OF A WOMAN.

Soft like satis re your clear brown eyes.  Pure and lucid in what you see through them. You are like a silky fine mist rising, the prelude of a new day awaiting the dawn glow in radiant sunshine and splendour.  Aglow with beauty that rest ever so lightly on those most near, who bathe in the warmth of your being here.  Eminently privileged are those who know you by your name, for they are in possession of a gift which only you can part to them.  Kind are the sounds that vibrate in confident ripples, disturbing the still are as your voice embraces my ears like soft minor chords, ever pure of tone.  Sometimes I am left drowning in the depths of sadness, because my time here was not of your time.  If it were, a chance I may have had to be known by you from a younger ager.

Happy must he be who you have said, "I do."  For he has a life time of pure richness with a woman who is of a rare earthy nature, a time he will spend in harmony with one like an Angel pure.  For you are gifted with a nature beheld by a few so chosen.  Held firmly within your kind heart, is a love much deeper than a moon-less night sky.  How lowly then of him if your love, he takes for granted, leaving you to feel you are an object of desire.  Painfully his eyes will see your love slowly slip away in silence from his grasp.  The gift that you are to this world, forever lost, but for an ageing memory.  Pity him not for what harm if any, he cast upon you.  Leave him there alone to fade into death of a shallow heart so broken.  Such a person as he, is not of your level, through your travel along life's paths.

Live then with thoughts pure and kind, for each day comes to you with a gift that is for you, a moment special.  For within you is a life much deeper than the form of physical beauty which us here for those who so chose to feast their eyes on.  You are here to live of life which has been given to you.  Live then in a way you believe is correct, this you will know of by the happiness you will feel within yourself.  Your joys are there for you to experience them at will in both mind and spirit.

You are far better than any man will ever be, therefore, be clear in your mind of what you feel, be then ever thankful that you are a woman.  Understand well, that man against woman is weak, because inwardly she is of a constitution that is much stronger.  In an age long past, a time which we know of, you took form and with the endless passing of years you grew into a truly voluptuous woman who knows well of her natural charming attraction.  By chance have I come to know yo, though for only a short time.  That moment in time gone has left me happy that I too, now know of your existence here on this world in a moment that to us both is common.  Through ageing eyes I was permitted to see your smooth fluid motion as your manoeuvred about your duty  Your soft velvet voice too, have I heard as your lips parted in exciting vibrant tones that lightly echoes through the canyons of my fading ears.  To hold you close that I may be enmeshed within your aura, to feel of the life living inside of you, is nothing more than a dream beyond reality.

To share a life with one like you in a moments of secret and private time that would grow into a hall of lasting memories.  To have known of you as a friend, to me would be nothing lass than a gifted privilege of exultation. Simple joys like stroking the tip of your slender nose with my finger, tasting the sadness of your tears flowing like streams over your soft pale cheeks.  Of being able to reach out and feel the warmth of your ever sensitive self-esteem.  So simple are life's precious moments when sheared with another's feelings in mind, yet to a woman of your standing, how deep and meaningful such joys must be to you.  There is an empathic radiance flowing out from the depths of your most inner self touching those about you who are of lesser standing.  His at times, is humbling to my ways of understanding.  You thought, are a woman of very rare energy.  Happy now than in this passing moment through time, I have come to know of you.  One who is sharing her life among the many who are also here within this time which to us all, is for only a moment.  Your being has left me with a glow that warms the dungeons of imprisoned dreams so trapped by opportunities lost.

Dave F. Ryan   August 4, 1991

TO THIS WORLD YOU CAME AS A GIRL

To this world you came as a girl that of life you could live and as a girl to mature in age towards a womanhood.  On that day of your birth, many also like you were so born to begin a journey on life's train towards the future.  To a final destination somewhere into the future of which on that day, you knew nothing of.  Y our future then is now, and still the journey continues to an unknown destination for you, many of that day have alighted when their future came to be their present, now no longer here, you continue to travel.  With each passing year, more alighted never to go on further, others along the way came aboard, heading for this unknown destination, fresh and unsure of their future which was  once to you., is now you history and of little value.  Soon you realize that there were some who have been travelling for a length of time, their journey started before your day of boarding. 

As with all who travel, you meet some and talk of past times and sometimes, without warning, they left you.  For their destination came quickly while they were without knowledge and thus left without saying a farewell.  For you thought your future seems to be further along the way and waits in silence for your arrival.  Of many years now have you on this journey travelled, the future behind you we call our past.  From those who, still in motion with you, learn from them that your might better your comfort as the unknown destination nears.  Listen to the words of those seasoned travellers who on this journey, before you came.  Their words are your tools for learning and your wisdom will sort out that which is of value to your ride and that which will have you exit before the future destination warmly greets your arrival with comforting delight.  The view passing from your window beside you of the world unfolding is but a seat to convey into a future where happiness will drown you in rewarding of your ability of comprehending from the train of learning which you are imprisoned on as a passenger of little choice.  Your ticket of course was purchased when your day of birth past setting you into motion of life's sharing.

Much will you see and hear that will aid your comfort, accept all that you see and judge not the behaviour of passengers about you.  Decide wisely which is for you, right and which is not then value that which is to you, correct.  I quiet must you sit, that you will be noticed and thus, helped to further the distance of your destination so that on alighting contentment will fulfil you for your effort of having absorbed all that was about you along the wayside of learning. Remember too those who came aboard after you, younger in age some will in wisdom, be wiser and offer help to your being there. Remember those still waiting to come aboard, be ready will words of kindness for them to hear that they may learn from your experience gained of your journey, your words that will guide them towards their own final destination and if they fail to arrive after you, feel not sad.  Be you then glad that you had come to pass their way to help them, for they are on their own journey as you are on yours.  You are here to help those seeking your guidance, be sure at heart and confident that to them, you were able to help. Yes, you too are a passenger, travel as such leaving those who desire to drive and lead astray  Those who feel at ease inbeing led in such a way.  Thankful am I that a seat beside you I have shared with you along part of your journey, as we both share time on this train towards life's destination.

Dave F. Ryan   October 28, 1991

THE YEARS NOW GIONE.

Thank you for coming to this world as a girl, you are one among many who where so born on that day many years ago, a time had not long ended and a time of new had began.  Little of which you would be aware of until now with the passing of years ageing.   Your learning would hold you in good stead for the years of your birth.  Though how little it means to you when your understanding of that time was beyond your age of reasoning for those who were there in knowledge, a hope that something for the betterment of your future would befall those of your time.  With ageing's slows passage, you grew to reach an age of school, to what year you would attain was

Unknown to all but one.  With the decaying of future time, your goal in life before you slowly became a clear objective to you.  Though not so to those most close by about you.  Through your rich clear eyes, you took in all that was about you, forging an awareness that you were but, one within a family with strict structured form where you understood the value of self discipline and a love of healthy family unit of which many your age, sadly see failing apart before their youthful eyes. Inwardly you are self assured of who you are and where time is taking you, your spirit is guiding you through life that to you has been allotted.  Many in years past, have come to know of you, many though could not understand you, for you are a woman who is different within the structured form of this life that many fail to fully comprehend.  Yet to you it became clear as your charming personality took shape along with your ever expanding development.

Though by chance we met in passing for only a short time, I could be so privileged to behold a feeling that now remains forever trapped within my heart.  To know you is a respected value beyond all earthly gifts, though saddened am I in knowing your time will be remaining long after my time has come.  To have shared with you the physical reality of your physical warmth, is only a dream left empty of un un-fulfilment.  Though to feel from the heart which may never be sheared as a love, knowing that your spirit is here living on this world and that I have come to know of your face by name, is a peace of mind and warmth to my soul which like you, will never die.  From moving lips in rhythm forming kind words that grace your ears on pleasing tones to warm the depths of your emotions, leaving you glad in knowing you are a woman of these times, bathing in a state of happiness.   Second only to the joy of having your life free to live as you so desire.

This world to which we have come, has many kind feelings to share with those who are on a level to receive of this sharing.  With years in passing you gained much knowledge that will lead you into a future patiently awaiting your arrival.  What yet before you waiting to come, will name you in a future history, a legend.  Be then you assured that one will come who will comfort and support you as his wife, he will to you be strong and constant supporter of your future vocation, yet to be revealed to your inner thoughts.  Be you glad at heart for those years gone when to this world you came from the protection of your mother.  You are to this world a gift of life that will move forwards in age for another generation.  In turn will you also pass into a world of life in a way that only women can understand with appreciation, the meaning of birth.  Such your nature is that a mother of natural talent is held within your form waiting for the time when your roll of motherhood will come to fulfilment. 

You are a live and living creation that was brought here not by order or request, but by love and acceptance for the form you are which before birth, remained unknown.  One of many who so came, you are equal as all who are for there are no favourites, held within the birth by a mother for the gifts to this worlds she helps bring forward.  Love equals all which are from within her and pained when those among her family, fall from the relation of friendship.  To know you as a daughter would be a blessing, not to me was that joy granted.  Yet happy am I for I know you as  a friend. Happy too am I that now I am able to say that you made it and are on a road through life that will leave you and those close about you, part of a unit of motion moving towards time's unknown end.

Dave F. Ryan   October 28, 1991

TO HAVE BEEN KNOW BY YOU.

To have been known by you as one very special friend in your life would have been a gift beyond all earthly pleasure granted to one in life.  To have been your father and able to over the years, watched as your grew from those first gasp of infancy into to woman of charm,sophistication, charisma and natural beauty of which you today, are.  Your kind eyes see freely into the souls of those who are so honoured to be know by you.  Do they see the woman living within you, or do their minds taste only dreams of a starved lustfulness remaining beyond the grasp of their reach?

To have been chosen by you in a life as one to be a life long friend, would bring out of me, the hidden love and passion that is within all waiting for the right connections to be triggered  thus releasing the emotion and response to cultivate a lasting affection for one as perfect as you are in beauty.  Some learn of this feelings while still in tender years of growth while others, they search with closed eyes, who when of their life's position is but almost spent, only then do they see the magic which had eluded their need for searching for their love.  For every prince wants to share his court with a princes beguiling.  Sadly all to often, those princes' are in name only, they have not the standing and lack the enchantment to attract those who are princesses.  There within you deep is a vast astuteness of where you are going and what from your life, you want exactly.

To have been known by you as your brothers, following a time or two behind you in sharing of the secrets of aging and spending time being cared for when aliment befriends.  To have tasted and sampled of the pleasure and joy he who will travel to the journey which ahead of you, lies. To have heard of your soft caring voice as your spoken words caused gentles ripples that would have graced my ears with the tenderness of a soft minor chord.  To live through one's life having the satisfaction of you being my big sister, would too have been as equal to if not better than, being your chosen life long partner.

Living in a time on this earth and then one day be chance, seeing you for the first time, sensing the feelings of fear within at knowing of my unworthiness to speak to you, one who is of form, so perfect.  One who is of such a high standing spirit in the journey of life's learning, to taste of such an experience would humble me into stunned silence of ignoble weakness.  The magnitude of your deep insight and personal guidance broke away the pained palisade of protection that surrounded me.  In quietness of thoughts, you reached out so that I might come to know you by name, for that I thank you immeasurably.  How then wonder I if of this earth you were not born of, but from a far place came you here, to visit us of a lesser understanding of life living.  I may of this never know, but how nice it must be for those who have learned to reach the inveterate high of life allowing one to move on to another dimension superior knowledge.

Of the closeness know of you to he so special to you may never be mine to experience.  I have by your desire of licence, tasted the rich icing of your distinction, granting me a faint glimpse into the complex structure which you are of, by design.  Touched I have been by your personality pure which you cautiously have consented without being over inviting.   Tactfully, you kept me at an interval thus  preventing me from acquiring of you, a specialised closeness and discourtesy, yes happy am I, for  not only of time together of earthy sharing, we have come to absorb the knowledge of each other's existence.  Thank you one of unearthly pulchritude and brilliance for the time so shared with me.

Dave F. Ryan   December 12, 1992

AS YOU WALK BY.  WHAT ARE MY THOUGHTS

Who your are I do not know, but as I learn against the wall by the door alone with only my private thoughts, knowing your instinct is warning you that the gaze of my eyes are fixed on your every movement.  What then are they, my thoughts of your as you pass by, you wonder no doubt.

My thoughts are of kindness, insight and sadness for having seen of your existence here and knowing you are, beyond reach to me.  Consumed by the need to go your way in walking, I gaze feelingly on your frame in collective motion for the short span of time granted to me before you fade from the grasp of my eyes which are left with a sense it is, of loss which I feel as my ageing eyes digest the quality within your living form of feminine excellence so created.  How little then, do you realize the fear your presence generates in me, like a toxin weakening my strength to a point from of only looking at you, a creation of perfection strong.  How nice the experience, it must be having been there to see you grow from a baby into the woman whom you have grown and freely feed mu hungered eyes of your image.  To have been your father, knowing your mother as she aged with years decaying, from a young woman and to have been twice in la time of life sheared with two beautiful women as life moved towards ageing time about me. 

How nice it must be in knowing that somewhere, one has been accepted by you as a friend special, who to you can talk and while in life sharing, know of your pleasure.  To learn of and share in the secrets of time that to you is past, the vision thought still alive in your vibrant mind.  To know of your ambitions with life's motion yet before you waiting.  In you I see a creation who is unique, for you are you alone, no one else can be the form of whom you are.  Though only a few short years ago, you were a very young girl and out of reach, now you have matured into a living form of human perfection and still you are young.  A woman of the future to live in a time that will have no place for one who like me, is.  As my time of motion was used before your progenitors to your conception, ever met.  See then yourself as I do, a woman fashioned with that special ability that fails to exist in those who are of my own kind.  by nature's desire, you have a remarkable charm and smoothness that comes to those chosen members of birth why of the female species are.  Unknowingly, you treat my eyes to a banquet as you walk by, for I gaze unashamedly at your face, your arms and legs that that support your being.  

How beautiful it must be for you living within the body of your birth.  The motion of perfection which nature endeared you with saddens me because of your time; I can not share with you.  To hold close one of your stature in my arms, to hear your voice each passing day as your words, your thoughts and slowly learn to know of the rea; you who is hidden inside the frame of visual loveliness of feminine design living.  To stroke lightly, the slender shaped profile of your arms and legs, to stand behind you and share in silence for a time with you brushing the sheen of your soft hair.  To be thus privileged in seeing you as you see of yourself reflected without thought, to touch the woman you are in living and know the pleasure comes from having been accepted by trust of one like you.  A woman you are of whom my eyes see walking by, you are not to me an object of lustful desire obscured as passion, you are seen as a living human being who is life living, happens to be a woman.  In form and mind, you are different than I am, with so many events within your mind happening at one aeon, there is little time for you to think any more of me that a passing glance of dissociated awareness and a guarded wave or a soft hello.  They are to me, plenty.  For you have responded to my existence and warmed the inner softness of my soul with a dose of happiness and shared the reality we are living in the same time. 

Sadness thought fills my thoughts at knowing you are of your time of which I am unable to know the shape passing before my eyes.  Someone else will have claim to that pleasure, for you were born in a moment gone when I was your age now, that time that was allotted to me was sadly wasted by my inner fear that such beauty of living perfection, was beyond my reach.  For I did not know how to relate to you in a way that you as accustomed to being so related to by my kind.  To you on your level I could not talk as you to those who know you speak so naturally.  Suppressed and frightened I was by the sheer mass of feminine for before me, intimated often by those before me of their beauty, what right then have I in expecting you, one of such insouciant manner,  would find anything of value or interest of one lowly as I.  Now as you walk by, knowing you are beyond my reach through more than age.  I stare through dreaming eyes of a time that to me is forever lost.  Of this blame not yourself, the fault is within me and reflected against your kind.  As I look on with hindsight's wisdom, I know you are here for my eyes see you each day passing, of you I know not and probably never will, but you exist to live life that is yours to live towards the years here allotted to you and yet to unfold.  From you will children come to embark towards their own future we may never know that a plan will unfold daily towards a future that is your time of earthly life living.

 Dave F. Ryan    March 27 1993