The "persuasion" of this method is not the sort where one person convinces another of the right "viewpoint".
Persuasion is an approach that persuades people to treat each other with greater respect, understanding, caring, and fairness.
These values can reconnect and anchor our feelings to our inner spirit and ethically guide the conduct of sensitive communications.
Persuasion helps people communicate to each other what it feels like to live in their separate, private worlds of experience.
Persuasion didn't invent the ideas of careful listening, restating others' viewpoints, or confirming mutual understanding, but it adds a deeper understanding of the role of feelings in difficult communications.
Strong feelings often prevent us from achieving mutual understanding.
Yet when usefully interpreted and managed, feelings can vastly accelerate and deepen our connections to each other, for they arise from the inner world of our shared human spirit.
Rather than following the steps of Persuasion mechanically, you will benefit most if you use it because you want to sincerely pursue the healthy integration of values and feelings.
You cannot act or be treated in ways that are different from those you are used to-even if those ways are better-without becoming increasingly uncomfortable; however, this is the discomfort of growth.
Because negative feeling experiences from childhood are imprinted on everyone, most people have a significant amount of self-doubt within their self-concept.
When we defend ourselves, we are really maintaining self-doubt.
Our survival and security seem to depend on self-defense, but understanding, cooperation, and closeness require that we risk vulnerability.
Five obstacle to human communication: - We all live in unique and private worlds of personal experience.
- When we feel threatened, hurt, angry we tend to react with blame and self-defense.
- Everyone has difficulty handling strong feelings.
- Feelings are facts to the person experiencing them.
- We almost always perceive power imbalances but rarely discuss them openly.
Instead of looking at feelings as uncontrollable, dangerous energies that can screw up your most important communications, look at them as the very bridge that forms and keeps a relationship going.
Feelings come from the deepest part of ourselves and give us our spiritual connection.
Feelings are information, messages about who you are, what you need and care about, what's right and wrong for you, what you have to share with each other.
Upset feelings give you the opportunity to deepen your relationship.
We are consistently taught that our thinking functions are superior to our feeling functions.
Yet, we feel feelings before we think thoughts, and they help create the core of our identify, our fundamental sense of worth as human beings.
The more we respect, listen to, and learn to interpret our feelings, both good and bad, the more spirited and natural our personalities will be.
Persuasion is the interpersonal application of the counseling mode, guided self-change.
Thus, Persuasion isn't just a negotiation strategy, but also a method of healing self-doubt and alienation within oneself.
If you learn to respect and appreciate another's feelings, you will learn to treat your own feelings more wisely in the process.
When we get angry with each other we are reacting defensively against feeling inadequate, no matter what we might say we're angry about.
You need to be aware that both of you are sensitive.