Why Marriages Fail: A Lack of Intimacy
I have been married for 44 years and have heard all kinds of reasons why marriages fail.
Divorce continues to be all too common in our society and, sadly to say, many couples are breaking up for reasons that could be worked through if the couples had the right skills to communicate effectively.
It's kind of interesting that plumbers and electricians have to work towards a license to practice their trade but couples don't have to have any training to get married.
Would you agree that marriage relationships can be more difficult than un-clogging a drain (with apologies to my plumber friends)? Perhaps the reason most often given for the breakup of a marriage is finances.
Money is always a hot topic because it represents who we are and what we do.
It tends to define our identity so when we argue about money, our very core being is offended and hurt.
There are four keys to building intimacy in a marriage that can be learned and implemented if both husband and wife humble themselves, agree to take responsibility, and practice these pointers.
First, a successful marriage is about two very good forgivers living under the same roof and realizing that "the person I married isn't perfect and neither am I".
Second, to have a marriage that doesn't just survive but thrives, each person must take personal responsibility to proactively be the best person they can be physically, socially, spiritually, and relationally.
That means being dedicated to the process of personal growth and not looking at your spouse and wishing that he or she would change.
Third, daily appreciation of your spouse is imperative.
By sharing appreciations daily, we are daily putting deposits into each others' love bank.
If we aren't doing that, we will eventually go emotionally and relationally bankrupt.
That means we must look for something in our spouse to appreciate; either a character quality or perhaps something you observed them doing or perhaps a way they handled a certain situation.
Fourth, commit to not use the "D" word.
Once you introduce the divorce word into a conversation, it makes it easier to actually carry through with that act.
Billy Graham's wife, Ruth, was asked if she had ever considered divorce from her famous evangelist husband.
Her reply was, "Divorce? No! Murder? Yes!" While that somewhat humorous answer captures the frustration that marriage can bring, you must be committed to forgiving each other, taking personal responsibility for your own growth, giving daily appreciations to your spouse, and being committed to each other for the long haul and avoiding the temptation to use the "D" word.
Your marriage doesn't have to just survive; it can thrive as you apply these simple but profound pointers and build closeness with your spouse.
Divorce continues to be all too common in our society and, sadly to say, many couples are breaking up for reasons that could be worked through if the couples had the right skills to communicate effectively.
It's kind of interesting that plumbers and electricians have to work towards a license to practice their trade but couples don't have to have any training to get married.
Would you agree that marriage relationships can be more difficult than un-clogging a drain (with apologies to my plumber friends)? Perhaps the reason most often given for the breakup of a marriage is finances.
Money is always a hot topic because it represents who we are and what we do.
It tends to define our identity so when we argue about money, our very core being is offended and hurt.
There are four keys to building intimacy in a marriage that can be learned and implemented if both husband and wife humble themselves, agree to take responsibility, and practice these pointers.
First, a successful marriage is about two very good forgivers living under the same roof and realizing that "the person I married isn't perfect and neither am I".
Second, to have a marriage that doesn't just survive but thrives, each person must take personal responsibility to proactively be the best person they can be physically, socially, spiritually, and relationally.
That means being dedicated to the process of personal growth and not looking at your spouse and wishing that he or she would change.
Third, daily appreciation of your spouse is imperative.
By sharing appreciations daily, we are daily putting deposits into each others' love bank.
If we aren't doing that, we will eventually go emotionally and relationally bankrupt.
That means we must look for something in our spouse to appreciate; either a character quality or perhaps something you observed them doing or perhaps a way they handled a certain situation.
Fourth, commit to not use the "D" word.
Once you introduce the divorce word into a conversation, it makes it easier to actually carry through with that act.
Billy Graham's wife, Ruth, was asked if she had ever considered divorce from her famous evangelist husband.
Her reply was, "Divorce? No! Murder? Yes!" While that somewhat humorous answer captures the frustration that marriage can bring, you must be committed to forgiving each other, taking personal responsibility for your own growth, giving daily appreciations to your spouse, and being committed to each other for the long haul and avoiding the temptation to use the "D" word.
Your marriage doesn't have to just survive; it can thrive as you apply these simple but profound pointers and build closeness with your spouse.