Checklist for the Mother of the Groom
- wedding celebration image by Warren Millar from Fotolia.com
The role of the mother of the groom can sometimes be confusing, especially as the traditional roles of the parents of the bride and groom are shifting. With more couples paying for their own weddings or having both sets of parents share the financial burden, the roles of parents are less defined than before. However, some standard mother-of-the-groom duties remain. - It is common courtesy for the mother of the groom to call the bride's parents soon after the engagement is announced and invite them over for dinner or drinks to celebrate their children's impending nuptials. This gives the parents a chance to meet if they have not already done so. It also gives you the chance to welcome the bride's parents into your family and express your joy about the upcoming wedding.
- Before creating the guest list, it is important to discuss with the groom the wedding budget and what financial assistance you are expected to give, if any. After discussing your financial obligation, find out how many guests you are allowed to invite. It is important to provide an accurate guest list complete with names and addresses, and it is your responsibility to help out-of-town guests find places to stay during the duration of the wedding celebration.
- It is recommended that you shop for your dress 4-6 months before the wedding date. Consult with the bride and her mother as to what color your dress should be. It should not match the bridesmaids or the mother of the bride, but rather complement the colors of the wedding.
- Be sure to attend the bridal shower, as well as any engagment parties, bachelorette parties or any other events that you are invited to. It is also respectful to buy a gift for the bride when attending these parties and to help with any additional planning she might need.
- If the bride and groom are not handling the invitations themselves, then it is up to you to make sure you track the RSVPs of the guests you invited. Contact those who have not returned an RSVP three to four weeks before the wedding.
- It is customary for the groom's parents to plan and host the rehearsal dinner. This can be as simple as a backyard barbecue or as formal as a nice dinner at a restaurant. Planning should start six months before the wedding, and the dinner is typically held after the rehearsal the day before the wedding. You are also responsible for attending the rehearsal so you know what your role will be during the wedding ceremony. The parents also should thank everyone for coming and give a small toast to the bride and groom at the rehearsal dinner.
- During the wedding, you must fulfill all responsibilities that were designated to you the night before at the rehearsal. These duties might include being walked down the aisle before the ceremony, lighting the family candle or reading a passage during the ceremony. It is also your responsibility to be present for all family photos, whether they're taken before or after the ceremony.
- During the reception, it is customary for the groom's parents to stand in the receiving line behind the bride and groom. You might be asked to give a speech or to share a mother-son dance. After the reception, you can offer your help with anything else the couple might need, such as cleaning up or transporting gifts. After the day is over, your only responsibility is to enjoy your son and new daughter-in-law.
