Dating Voodoo...manipulation or advice?
To date or not?
Dating and having a relationship are not the same thing. Knowing which one is most important for you could be the difference between feeling lonely and frustrated or being happy and hopeful.
Do you want to date or to have a relationship?
Once you have answered this question it will be a whole lot easier for you to find and to identiify the most helpful and effective advice and support to guide you toward your ultimate goal.
For me the answer is simple...
Relationships are what matters most. Which brings to my first point...
Most dating advice has nothing to do with establishing and building a lasting relationship. It's more about tricks, manipulation and being someone other than yourself. None of which do I subscribe to.
Puff and fluff...
Frequently, I will scan the daily tweets and search Google for relevant relationship quotes, ideas, and tools and even like minded professionals in hopes of finding something valuable to share. More often than not what I find is hardly worth reading as it is more puff and fluff than worthwhile.
Something I have experienced first hand thanks to my ex.
In her words she did all the right things...
Early on in my marriage my new wife and I were talking, and what she shared, in that moment, forever changed how I would experience our life together as husband and wife. It would ultimately impact how I experienced our relationship.
During this particular conversation my wife shared with me how she had succeeded in 'hooking' me. Catching me off guard, I asked what she meant, and she said...
She had done all the necessary things to get me to ask her to marry me.
Her words ultimately left me feeling like I had been tricked. I felt pretty cheap. I think the seeds for divorce were planted in that moment, as I was left feeling like I had been duped.
A gnawing sense of resentment...
I know from that point on I did resent her for what she shared and she did. As it was the resentment would continue to gnaw at me throught the life of our marriage.
No one likes to be manipulated, especially when it comes to something as personal as building a life with someone special. Someone you really care for and love. Which leads me to my second point...
Lasting relationships require sincere and open communication and are not built on a foundation of trickery and deceit.
They want to build a lasting relationship...
The women I work with, those who are dating a divorced man, are wanting to build a lasting relationship. A meaningful and caring relationship with someone who is equally committed.
In the end how you wear your hair, whether or not you eat a salad on your first date or even if you learn how to say all the right things a relationship will not last if it is built on a foundation of being someone other than yourself.
Before you decide to follow the advice of the oh-so-popular dating expert or a top selling book on dating remember to ask yourself this question...
Do you want to date or to have a relationship?
The decision is yours and yours alone.
To your happiness,
Frank Spitzig
Dating and having a relationship are not the same thing. Knowing which one is most important for you could be the difference between feeling lonely and frustrated or being happy and hopeful.
Do you want to date or to have a relationship?
Once you have answered this question it will be a whole lot easier for you to find and to identiify the most helpful and effective advice and support to guide you toward your ultimate goal.
For me the answer is simple...
Relationships are what matters most. Which brings to my first point...
Most dating advice has nothing to do with establishing and building a lasting relationship. It's more about tricks, manipulation and being someone other than yourself. None of which do I subscribe to.
Puff and fluff...
Frequently, I will scan the daily tweets and search Google for relevant relationship quotes, ideas, and tools and even like minded professionals in hopes of finding something valuable to share. More often than not what I find is hardly worth reading as it is more puff and fluff than worthwhile.
Something I have experienced first hand thanks to my ex.
In her words she did all the right things...
Early on in my marriage my new wife and I were talking, and what she shared, in that moment, forever changed how I would experience our life together as husband and wife. It would ultimately impact how I experienced our relationship.
During this particular conversation my wife shared with me how she had succeeded in 'hooking' me. Catching me off guard, I asked what she meant, and she said...
She had done all the necessary things to get me to ask her to marry me.
Her words ultimately left me feeling like I had been tricked. I felt pretty cheap. I think the seeds for divorce were planted in that moment, as I was left feeling like I had been duped.
A gnawing sense of resentment...
I know from that point on I did resent her for what she shared and she did. As it was the resentment would continue to gnaw at me throught the life of our marriage.
No one likes to be manipulated, especially when it comes to something as personal as building a life with someone special. Someone you really care for and love. Which leads me to my second point...
Lasting relationships require sincere and open communication and are not built on a foundation of trickery and deceit.
They want to build a lasting relationship...
The women I work with, those who are dating a divorced man, are wanting to build a lasting relationship. A meaningful and caring relationship with someone who is equally committed.
In the end how you wear your hair, whether or not you eat a salad on your first date or even if you learn how to say all the right things a relationship will not last if it is built on a foundation of being someone other than yourself.
Before you decide to follow the advice of the oh-so-popular dating expert or a top selling book on dating remember to ask yourself this question...
Do you want to date or to have a relationship?
The decision is yours and yours alone.
To your happiness,
Frank Spitzig