How To Develop Rapport Through Your Communication
Rapport begins between people with a feeling, a kinesthetic.
Have you ever said - - referring to a friend, associate, or even a casual acquaintance - - "We hit it off immediately," or "We seemed to get along right away," or "I liked him or her from the beginning.
" What is being expressed is a feeling for which there may be little or no valid support except the feeling itself.
Remember, the early development of rapport is based on feelings.
So the understanding of powerful communication techniques, words, phrases, gestures and other verbal stimuli will enable you to create early rapport.
Examine for a moment how you normally go about opening a conversation, a speech, or a presentation.
Chances are you make a personal or first person reference such as "I am John Jones," or "I want to let you know," or "We, my company, my organization want to," etc.
This style of speech is called the I - we - me pattern.
If you would like proof as to how common this misapplied language is used, get copies of the last six letters or memos you've sent or received.
The chances are that somewhere in the first two or three paragraphs, you will see the words "I - We - Me - My - Our, etc.
" more than "You - Your - Yours".
The effectiveness of the letter would increase dramatically if the language was altered.
Here are some simple examples: Example: (The letter starts) I am in receipt of your letter of...
We suggest: Your letter of (given date) regarding (etc.
) has been received.
Another example: We wanted you to be aware of our new policies.
We suggest: Your best interest and those of others such as yourself are the great concern of our company, accordingly...
In the first example you place yourself first.
Now, ask yourself what feeling is being created for the listener? Might it be, you the person speaking, comes first - - yet you will later try to emphasize how your message, idea, product or service was developed just for them.
The second option simply reverses the process.
This skill is not all that difficult to develop.
Simply think more about the reader than the writer, less about you (the speaker), more about them (the listeners) as you prepare and deliver your language.
Here are 3 practice exercises which will aid you in developing skills in this area:
Here are additional circumstances where utilizing powerful communication habits will have an improved and positive effect.
If your telephone is currently answered as follows, "Good morning, X.
Y.
Z.
corporation, Betty speaking.
" We suggest this: "Thank you for calling X.
Y.
Z.
corporation, how may I direct your call?" In the latter example, the caller is thanked, mentioned first and affirmed.
Try this simple experiment with your phone response and measure the effect.
If you are addressing a group, regardless of their size or importance, start out with, "Thank you for the opportunity to be with you today.
" A salesperson meeting a prospect for the first time usually whips out his business card, introduces himself, his company and maybe even refers to the product or service.
All that before any reference to the prospect.
If you are a salesperson or trainer try one of these Power Linguistic exercises.
"Mr.
Jones, thank you for the opportunity to let me spend a few minutes explaining the purpose of my call.
" "Mr.
Jones, your time is important, so thank you for the opportunity," etc.
You will note the simplicity of the change.
Their name is first.
They are then thanked and affirmed for their decision to grant you an interview.
In their early use, you will experience some uncomfortability, so remember it takes 21 days to change even the simplest behavior, and in the early stages you are experiencing what we call your awkward stage.
Once you get past this stage and get used to the new language it will soon become routine.
Again, a reminder, rapport building starts with a feeling.
The kinesthetic elements of these communication habits contain many key words and phrases which when used enhance the listeners' feelings of well-being.
Have you ever said - - referring to a friend, associate, or even a casual acquaintance - - "We hit it off immediately," or "We seemed to get along right away," or "I liked him or her from the beginning.
" What is being expressed is a feeling for which there may be little or no valid support except the feeling itself.
Remember, the early development of rapport is based on feelings.
So the understanding of powerful communication techniques, words, phrases, gestures and other verbal stimuli will enable you to create early rapport.
Examine for a moment how you normally go about opening a conversation, a speech, or a presentation.
Chances are you make a personal or first person reference such as "I am John Jones," or "I want to let you know," or "We, my company, my organization want to," etc.
This style of speech is called the I - we - me pattern.
If you would like proof as to how common this misapplied language is used, get copies of the last six letters or memos you've sent or received.
The chances are that somewhere in the first two or three paragraphs, you will see the words "I - We - Me - My - Our, etc.
" more than "You - Your - Yours".
The effectiveness of the letter would increase dramatically if the language was altered.
Here are some simple examples: Example: (The letter starts) I am in receipt of your letter of...
We suggest: Your letter of (given date) regarding (etc.
) has been received.
Another example: We wanted you to be aware of our new policies.
We suggest: Your best interest and those of others such as yourself are the great concern of our company, accordingly...
In the first example you place yourself first.
Now, ask yourself what feeling is being created for the listener? Might it be, you the person speaking, comes first - - yet you will later try to emphasize how your message, idea, product or service was developed just for them.
The second option simply reverses the process.
This skill is not all that difficult to develop.
Simply think more about the reader than the writer, less about you (the speaker), more about them (the listeners) as you prepare and deliver your language.
Here are 3 practice exercises which will aid you in developing skills in this area:
- Write a 3 paragraph memo and do not use first person (I - We - Me) in the first or second paragraph.
- When placing telephone calls, use the other persons name and title (where appropriate) before stating your name.
- Create and use "thank you" statements as part of your request.
ie: "Thank you for the opportunity to...
"
Here are additional circumstances where utilizing powerful communication habits will have an improved and positive effect.
If your telephone is currently answered as follows, "Good morning, X.
Y.
Z.
corporation, Betty speaking.
" We suggest this: "Thank you for calling X.
Y.
Z.
corporation, how may I direct your call?" In the latter example, the caller is thanked, mentioned first and affirmed.
Try this simple experiment with your phone response and measure the effect.
If you are addressing a group, regardless of their size or importance, start out with, "Thank you for the opportunity to be with you today.
" A salesperson meeting a prospect for the first time usually whips out his business card, introduces himself, his company and maybe even refers to the product or service.
All that before any reference to the prospect.
If you are a salesperson or trainer try one of these Power Linguistic exercises.
"Mr.
Jones, thank you for the opportunity to let me spend a few minutes explaining the purpose of my call.
" "Mr.
Jones, your time is important, so thank you for the opportunity," etc.
You will note the simplicity of the change.
Their name is first.
They are then thanked and affirmed for their decision to grant you an interview.
In their early use, you will experience some uncomfortability, so remember it takes 21 days to change even the simplest behavior, and in the early stages you are experiencing what we call your awkward stage.
Once you get past this stage and get used to the new language it will soon become routine.
Again, a reminder, rapport building starts with a feeling.
The kinesthetic elements of these communication habits contain many key words and phrases which when used enhance the listeners' feelings of well-being.