Anger destroys relationships.
All relationships, intimate, personal and business relationships can be destroyed by a single angry outburst.
Everybody gets angry; it is part of being human.
Anger can not be eliminated, but it can be controlled.
Successful people learn how to control their anger and turn it into a positive force.
Initial emotional reactions usually can not be controlled.
If something is funny you might catch yourself smiling or laughing spontaneously.
If something is scary we might shiver or pull back.
If something is 'bad' or offensive we might tense up, our face might get red, we might curse or raise our voice.
All of these initial emotional reactions usually take a few seconds, but after that first response our brains click in and we can choose the next action.
This is when control of any emotional response can occur.
Below I listed 3 first steps for controlling anger.
1.
Breathe - After the first initial response you must take a break.
Take a deep breath, close your eyes for a moment or leave the room.
Make a separation from the first angry response to your first rational reaction.
2.
Take responsibility - You may not be able to always control your first response, but you are responsible for it.
Own up to your initial reaction.
Focus on the reaction with phrases like, 'I'm sorry I raised my voice' or 'you caught me off guard'.
3.
Think about the end result - Think about what you need not what you feel.
If you pick up your paycheck and see you've been underpaid you might feel like screaming at your boss, but you need to rectify the error, keep your job and maintain a positive work relationship even if you choose to change jobs.
Apply these three steps when you first get angry, then move on to working through the situation.