My home, once a fountain of joy, peace and mirth,

Is now just an ash heap of clay pots and dirt.

I gaze through my window long enough to see

My husband conversing with his friends of three.

No woman will visit or call or reply.

My only comfort is my heart's lonely cry.

I listen at night and hear my man saying,

"Life is not fair.  For whose sin am I paying?

My skin is all spotted.  My boils are all sore.

My body is hurting.  Does God love me anymore?"

I try to console. 

I reach out to hold.

My touch only causes him pain.

A meal I prepare,

But he does not care

For he has lost all that he gained.

Even though I'll be penniless, widowed and alone

With no husband, no children, no wealth and no home,

"Curse God and just die," is all I think of

To relieve the suffering of the man that I love.

A head once was silky,

Now only looks milky

With the pus oozing from his scabs.

His breath is so fowl,

It makes me want to howl.

His tears are a personal jab.

This morning while cleaning, it hit me again

ALL my children have died - they all were my friends.

To lose one is awful.  To lose two, a crime;

But I've lost them all ... now I'm losing my mind.

My prayers are not heard.  No comfort I know.

My God has forsaken.  My lot is of woe.

"Curse God and just die" is in my thoughts often

For my only relief will be found in my coffin.

Oh, why was life spared when death is the gift

That would bring such peace and my burdens would lift?

I pick up a dish and tears flow afresh

For all of my children faced untimely death.

To lose one or two, perhaps three - but no more

Yet I've lost them ALL and my tears start to pour.

Ten babes at my breast.  Ten babes at my knee.

I've begged ten times millions,

"God trade them for me!"

My soul knows but anguish.  My heart knows no mend.

"Curse God and just die."  May this suffering end!

Don't judge me too harshly.  Don't dare be too cruel -

For how would you feel had this happened to you?