Tell the truth.
You thought those bites in the middle of the night were little love nibbles from your partner and, expecting some early morning delight, you languidly rolled over to a slumbering lump of flesh.
But the biting continued.
You sat up, turned on the nightstand lamp and threw back the covers (cue the "Psycho" shower scene music) to discover numerous red, swollen welts on your legs, thighs, and tummy.
"Bed bugs!" you screamed, and your partner rolled over and mumbled, "Not now, honey".
No? Not exactly? That scenario may be a little over the top, but bed bugs havemade a dramatic comeback after having been all but eliminated in North America.
Infestations are popping up everywhere: from high-end hotels to flop houses, from one-bedroom apartments to mansions, from New York City subway cars and benches to the Atlanta Marta Transit System.
What gives? Why are they back? One word can explain it - actually two words: international travel.
The dollar's decline in value has made travel to the US much more affordable to people everywhere.
Bed bugs hitch rides on travelers' clothing and luggage.
Hotel guests unpack, and voila! The Olympics this summer in Beijing will be a rip-roaring time for global bed bug distribution.
The sole food of bed bugs is the blood of warm-blooded animals, and humans are the preferred host.
They hide in cracks and crevices and are a very hardy lot.
Because it usually requires multiple visits, bed bug treatments by professional exterminators are very expensive.
Can you eliminate bed bugs yourself? Sure you can.
There are a number of pesticides available, including some very effective eco-friendly formulations.
Arm yourself with preparation and application knowledge and be thorough when you treat.
And the next time you travel, first thing, check the hotel bed for blood spots or the actual bugs around the seams and tufts of the mattress and box springs.
If you find evidence, ask for another room and check it out too before unpacking.