Elliot Spitzer Jokes
"I've been thinking about something, do you think it's too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Eliot Spitzer?" --David Letterman
"Did you happen to see the press conference, very dramatic. Eliot Spitzer was there, he had yellow crime scene tape draped around his pants, it was crazy." --David Letterman
"But here's the lesson, ladies and gentlemen, this is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash." --David Letterman
"But a lot of rumors about what is going to happen.
If Governor Spitzer does resign over his prostitution scandal, it's been reported that he will go into private practice as a lawyer. That's what he's going to do. Yeah. When asked why he wants to practice law again, Spitzer said, 'I like businesses where you charge by the hour and screw your clients.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Of course, the big story tonight, known to anyone with a television, or a Google alert set to 'prostitute.' (on screen: Eliot Spitzer Press Convo). Eliot Spitzer, the law and order governor of New York, caught soliciting sexual favors from a prostitute. Interestingly enough, he was caught on a wiretap, the kind most likely authorized by the law and order governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer. Oops" --Jon Stewart
"New York Post, I call dibs on 'Eliot Mess.' ... Huge news today. ... New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has admitted involvement with a prostitution ring. ... I just hope the press deals with this tastefully (On screen: Picture of Spitzer, Headline: WHORES!)" --Stephen Colbert
"The governor was supposed to give a press conference today at 2:15 pm but a whole hour passed before he spoke.
To be fair, it is Daylight Savings time, and the governor usually has a prostitute change his clocks." --Stephen Colbert
"I want to make one thing perfectly clear, okay folks, Gov. Spitzer is a friend of the show. That never changes. I've sat next to the guy three times and I didn't pick up on any of this, and I usually have excellent whore-dar." --Stephen Colbert
~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman
"Did you happen to see the press conference, very dramatic. Eliot Spitzer was there, he had yellow crime scene tape draped around his pants, it was crazy." --David Letterman
"But here's the lesson, ladies and gentlemen, this is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash." --David Letterman
"But a lot of rumors about what is going to happen.
If Governor Spitzer does resign over his prostitution scandal, it's been reported that he will go into private practice as a lawyer. That's what he's going to do. Yeah. When asked why he wants to practice law again, Spitzer said, 'I like businesses where you charge by the hour and screw your clients.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Of course, the big story tonight, known to anyone with a television, or a Google alert set to 'prostitute.' (on screen: Eliot Spitzer Press Convo). Eliot Spitzer, the law and order governor of New York, caught soliciting sexual favors from a prostitute. Interestingly enough, he was caught on a wiretap, the kind most likely authorized by the law and order governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer. Oops" --Jon Stewart
"New York Post, I call dibs on 'Eliot Mess.' ... Huge news today. ... New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has admitted involvement with a prostitution ring. ... I just hope the press deals with this tastefully (On screen: Picture of Spitzer, Headline: WHORES!)" --Stephen Colbert
"The governor was supposed to give a press conference today at 2:15 pm but a whole hour passed before he spoke.
To be fair, it is Daylight Savings time, and the governor usually has a prostitute change his clocks." --Stephen Colbert
"I want to make one thing perfectly clear, okay folks, Gov. Spitzer is a friend of the show. That never changes. I've sat next to the guy three times and I didn't pick up on any of this, and I usually have excellent whore-dar." --Stephen Colbert
~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman