It's almost an art form to know when to step in an when NOT to when it comes to being a care provider for aging loved ones - or even just a loved one who is ill.
To begin with, becoming a care provider is usually an unexpected, unplanned for event.
One day everything can seem fine, and the next day, our parent or grandparent can be put in a very tough situation and need a lot more support than anyone expected.
Even if we DO have some time to prepare, the lifestyle change that providing care brings can be staggering.
Literally everyone in your family is affected, even if your parent or grandparent is able to remain on their own, in their own home.
And there's no manual for becoming a care provider.
Learning how to navigate a loved one's lifestyle, medical care, and day-to-day responsibilities is never easy.
Neither is knowing how and when to back off and let them do this themselves.
If your loved one is able to straighten their own home, for instance, or do their own laundry, then taking over those responsibilities might send the wrong message.
It could tell them, subtly, that you think they're incapable of doing for themselves.
Likewise, while your "patient" may be too weak physically to do these tasks, they may be sharp-as-a-whip mentally, so taking over their decision-making could be demoralizing.
Caring for a loved one is never easy.
Someone's entire life is going to change, and that doesn't just mean the care providers'.
Each family must navigate this process for themselves.
And the aging parent or grandparent should be encouraged to participate in this journey as much as possible.
What you all bring to the table is about supporting them, after all.
So taking the time to hear their needs, concerns and choices becomes a vital and vibrant part of your path.