Almost Good Enough Relationships - Single Women Settling
"Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for - because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.
" ~ Peter Marshall, US Senate Chaplain 1947 Do you have a clear vision of your ideal relationship? Do you understand with perfect clarity what you require for a relationship to be happy and successful? If you do not, you are likely to settle for "almost good enough" and spend your relationship trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.
I am not saying that you need to be picky in the extreme.
I'm not saying that you should pass up the man who is good enough.
The almost good enough man will keep you unsatisfied and will be your "project," the fixer-upper you have to work on to improve until he is good enough for you.
This is a bad place for both you and the man you choose to work on.
Instead of settling for almost good enough, take some serious time to understand your relationship requirements.
Take a look at these categories and the questions listed.
There are many more questions; this is just to get you started.
Money:
" ~ Peter Marshall, US Senate Chaplain 1947 Do you have a clear vision of your ideal relationship? Do you understand with perfect clarity what you require for a relationship to be happy and successful? If you do not, you are likely to settle for "almost good enough" and spend your relationship trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.
I am not saying that you need to be picky in the extreme.
I'm not saying that you should pass up the man who is good enough.
The almost good enough man will keep you unsatisfied and will be your "project," the fixer-upper you have to work on to improve until he is good enough for you.
This is a bad place for both you and the man you choose to work on.
Instead of settling for almost good enough, take some serious time to understand your relationship requirements.
Take a look at these categories and the questions listed.
There are many more questions; this is just to get you started.
Money:
- What are your values around money?
- Financial responsibility?
- Managing, spending, saving, and investing money?
- What do you want your spiritual life to be like with a partner?
- What spiritual values are non-negotiable?
- What flexibility do you see around spirituality?
- How important is family?
- How often do you want to visit your family? His family?
- How close to you do you want family to live?
- Do you want them? How many? Would you adopt?
- What about step-children? Blended families?
- What ideas do you have about parenting? Step-parenting?
- Your friends, his friends, and your friends as a couple?
- How important are friends in your life?
- What about friends of the opposite sex?
- What level of health and fitness do you want to maintain?
- Are you a health fanatic or a couch potato?
- Do you value regular doctor visits? Naturopathic care? Regular dental care?
- Are you adventurous? Do you know only two positions and want to keep it that way?
- How frequently do you want to be sexual in your relationship?
- Who initiates sexual contact?
- What level of profession is important to you?
- Do you expect to both have careers?
- Will one of you care for the children while the other works outside the home?