The most important aspect of getting clean and sober, the one thing that is absolutely essential on part of the user is the "willingness" to get help.
Until he or she admits that their life is spiraling out of control and unmanageable, no recovery can begin.
Ask the family who has begged, pleaded and threatened, how hard it is to get a person to ask for help or even admit there's a problem? Most alcoholics will have a thousand excuses why alcohol and drugs is not a problem in their lives.
"I go to work everyday!" "I still am able to provide for my family!" "Everybody has to have some outlet and fun!" The guys at the bar don't think I have a problem.
" Or the "I nevers"..
..
"I never got arrested!" "I never lost my job!" "I never lost my license!" I never, I never, I never..
..
...
The list is endless.
And usually there's a little bit of truth to their excuses.
But the "I nevers" begin to shrink until they become..
..
..
I did's! This is the ultimate frustration for loved ones, whom think that their love and wishes should be enough for the person to quit drinking or using.
They cannot understand how a person who is supposed to love them cannot do this one thing for them.
Unfortunately for the family, this one request is the same as saying, "If you love me, stand on these tracks and stop that speeding train".
The deepest love will not allow a person to stop the train, nor will it allow a person to stop using who believes in his heart of hearts, he doesn't really have a problem.
And he or she will not seek help until they "ADMIT" that there is a problem and has the "WILLINGNESS" to do something about it.
The disease of alcoholism is the only disease that tells you, you do not have it! "I know I drink a little more than I should, but I don't have a problem!" Or "If you had the job I did, you would drink too!" I could go on and on.
The reasons and excuses are countless.
Every fiber of his being tells him if he only manages his drinking and using better, all will be well.
He believes in his heart that he does not have a problem.
And that tomorrow with a little more self-control, things will be better.
Unfortunately many men and women take their last breath believing this.
This is denial.
And denial has sent thousands to their demise! So what can a loved one do? First, understand that this is not an issue of you not being loved or cared about.
In most cases the user loves his/her family and friends deeply.
And would do anything in his power for you,..
anything..
..
..
..
except that! Because, again, he or she is in denial! Also, leave books or pamphlets around for them to stumble across and get to know a little bit more about the disease of alcoholism and drug abuse so you understand how you can best help.
Secondly, Take care of yourself.
There are Alanon and Alateen groups in just about every city in the world.
Find one and go.
Find comfort in the fact that you are not alone.
Many families are going through the same thing you are.
If the person sees you are attending these meetings, than maybe it will be a wake up call for them to do something.
Even if it doesn't, these groups are invaluable, to family and friends.
The next two are very important...
Make sure you and your family are safe! No one should be abused or neglected by another.
Go to a pastor, police or shelter if you need to.
Especially make sure the children are protected if there is an abuse problem in the family.
And Pray, prayer works! God will hear you and take care of you.
He understands the situation and will comfort you and give you strength! God Bless!