One thing I've learned as a dating coach is that most guys have no idea how to talk to women online.
You should see some of the stuff guys are sending to women in an attempt to get a date, it's pathetic.
It's particularly sad when a guy actually puts effort into crafting a witty, well worded email, but is still oblivious about how to communicate in an attractive way.
One huge mistake guys make is thinking that they need to use some sort of "online seduction tactics", in order to attract women and get dates.
If you've read any of my stuff, you know I'm not a big fan of these convoluted routines.
Today, I wanted to talk to you about one of these tactics that can really screw you up big-time, online or off.
It's called using "negs".
Using negs is when you say something negative i.
e.
insulting to a girl, as a means of attracting her.
Common examples are asking her if she shops at the Salvation Army or saying, "Hey, I love your fake-tan, you are so ORANGE!" A host of so-called "dating experts" have been promoting different forms of this technique for YEARS.
And they have many colorful explanations for why negs work.
The basic idea behind this method is that your "neg" is totally different from what all the other guys are saying.
Your "neg" knocks the girl off balance, and makes her wonder, "who is this guy, he must be really confident to talk that way to me.
" Wow, what a concept...
barf.
Yes, "negs" may work better than sputtering gibberish, but that's about it.
Negs, are just another stupid distraction that keep guys from focusing on the important stuff, like relating authentically.
There are so so so many much better ways to relate to women than to take weird little potshots at their looks.
I can't believe that so many guys are still being duped into believing that this is an effective way to talk to women.
Crazier still, now guys are trying to use negs online.
In fact, these "be a cocky guy online" strategies are now widely popular.
Guys think the best way to pull girls on the internet is by busting on them with negative jokes in emails.
And it's just so wrong...
I'm forced to call Shenanigans! Here's the truth about negs: Negs are a desperate attempt for attention by guys who don't know the real way to attract women.
If you know how to communicate with women, you don't need negs.
If you have the positive masculine attitude that women are attracted to, you don't need negs, Any guy who is considering using "negs" or any other so-called "seduction tactic", would be a lot better off, doing a little reflection...
Why do you think you need "negs"? What is at the root of your lack of confidence with women? Don't you deserve the attention of hot women, without needing to resort to giving backhanded compliments? If you're really motivated to get better with women, sooner or later you will learn for yourself that "negs" and similar seduction tactics are not the way to go.
I never use them, and none of the guys I know who are great with women every use them.
Yeah sure, we tease women sometimes.
When I'm dating a girl, I'll say all kinds of crazy things to her that she's never heard before.
I'll tease the hell out of her, and talk so sexy that she'll turn beet red...
But don't LEAD with that stuff! Not in an email! Save that until she's comfortable with you, so she doesn't think you are a socially maladjusted creep.
In the email, keep it light! "Hey what's up...
(mention something from her profile, and put your own little spin on it)...
anyways, let's get a drink!" That's how you talk to girls online effectively.
Quit trying to be funny, and cocky, and outrageous with your fancy "Pick-Up Artist" tactics.
Don't try so hard, keep it light and smooth, that's what girls are looking for.