REALLY! There ARE Things To Do To a Kid in a Temper Tantrum
All of a sudden you're adorable happy two year old has a tantrum and you can't even think of things to do to a kid in a temper tantrum. You have read about tantrums, talked with other Moms and even came up with a list of some things to do to a kid during the tantrum to stop it. Although you're pretty certain that all of your new found knowledge will evaporate as soon as the tantrum happens. Especially if the dreaded tantrum occurs in public or even worse in front of your extremely judgmental in-laws.
We have all seen it, heard it, done it (that's right you did have tantrums as a child and hopefully you aren't doing it any longer. If so, well, that's another topic.) The temper tantrum is the most feared behavior that parents have to get through. Well, fear not, there are some things to do with a kid even in the middle of a temper tantrum.
It is known that temper tantrums are part of normal childhood development especially in the toddler phase. The common phrase €the terrible two's€ is quite appropriate as most tantrums occur around this age. Tantrums arise at any time, with any child, and with any parent. But most frequently, in front of a lot of people, like a store full. And it really feels like they will tattoo you with €T T€ because you're allowing €that child to scream like THAT!€ And there you are trying to remember that list of things you can do to a kid in a tantrum. That's right we have all witnessed a tantrum, and if you try to deny it we all know you are lying.
While your little bundle of joy is writhing and kicking in the candy aisle, your pulling your hair out and thinking why, why, WHY ME? And you're sure that there are not a lot of things to do to a kid in this state, except physically hauling them out of the store. It's hard to believe that your child isn't out to get revenge for you disallowing him to grab a disgusting wad of gum off the wheel of your shopping cart. You can logically try to explain to your child that the gum is yucky and dirty. I mean it obviously has parking lot debris embedded in it and there are pieces of old food and maybe even squished bugs on it. And junior WANTS it NOW! NOW! NOW!
Every child's personality is completely different therefore temper tantrums vary greatly as well. Some kids bite, hold their breath, hit, fall on the ground, cry, scream (I mean like glass shattering) spin their heads around and on and on. My son was great at doing the limp rag hang, when I would grab his hand to drag him out of a store, he could actually relax every joint in his entire body and move in all directions. He did this while yelling and crying as if I have just killed his dog. He also was able to make his body turn into a slippery eel thing that is impossible to hold onto, falling to the ground like an immovable puddle right in the middle of the checkout lane. It was just amazing and I don't even know what things I did to the kid to warrant THIS! Really, I didn't do anything!
Sometimes you really want to just walk away and pretend it isn't my puddle, and that you have no idea what it is.
Apparently running away from the chaos and your child is not socially acceptable. I can think it though, right? So I would try to pick him up and half carry half drag him out of the store, taking breaks as necessary and desperately trying NOT to drop him.
So, what things do we do to a kid to turn them into a screaming mass? Believe it or not, it's usually not what we as parents do; it's the kid's frustration that does it. Kids in this phase of childhood can't verbalize what they want or need and become frustrated when you just don't get it! They are trying to have more independence and control of their lives but they can't and they don't understand why. To make it worse, they don't have the vocabulary to explain their feelings to you. They might be tired, hungry or just grumpy and not even know what they want.
Kids in this phase have a limited vocabulary, and they can't explain things even though they understand them. As their language skills improve the frequency and severity of the tantrums decrease. The best thing to do with a kid in a tantrum is to stay calm and keep your voice low. I know, impossible you say. But try to empathize with the child. How would you feel if you could start your car put it in gear and push the gas pedal and NOTHING happens, I mean nothing and there isn't a logical reason as to why the darn thing won't work? Then to top it all off you are not able to explain what is going on with your car to anybody. How frustrated would you be? You might even want to have a tantrum yourself. But as an adult it isn't acceptable behavior.
There are also things you can do to a kid prior to the temper tantrum. Before going out on a shopping trip, explain to the child how he should behave at the store. Give the child a goal, if you behave while we are at the store you can watch your favorite movie. Try not to say you will buy them something, you don't want to have to buy them something every time you go to the store. Above all make sure the child knows that he will NOT get what he wants if he has a tantrum. The really hard part of this plan is to stick to that statement. If you give in to a tantrum once they will believe that you will give in again and again.
I guess there is another thing that you can try to do to your kid. Just don't go out anywhere. Or, never take your child with you. Both of which are not realistic things to do to a kid that has tantrums. Try to remember to stay calm, keep your voice low, don't give in to the child and remove them from the environment. The most important thing is DO NOT listen to fellow shoppers who think they know what things to do to the kid, and they just want you shut him up!
We have all seen it, heard it, done it (that's right you did have tantrums as a child and hopefully you aren't doing it any longer. If so, well, that's another topic.) The temper tantrum is the most feared behavior that parents have to get through. Well, fear not, there are some things to do with a kid even in the middle of a temper tantrum.
It is known that temper tantrums are part of normal childhood development especially in the toddler phase. The common phrase €the terrible two's€ is quite appropriate as most tantrums occur around this age. Tantrums arise at any time, with any child, and with any parent. But most frequently, in front of a lot of people, like a store full. And it really feels like they will tattoo you with €T T€ because you're allowing €that child to scream like THAT!€ And there you are trying to remember that list of things you can do to a kid in a tantrum. That's right we have all witnessed a tantrum, and if you try to deny it we all know you are lying.
While your little bundle of joy is writhing and kicking in the candy aisle, your pulling your hair out and thinking why, why, WHY ME? And you're sure that there are not a lot of things to do to a kid in this state, except physically hauling them out of the store. It's hard to believe that your child isn't out to get revenge for you disallowing him to grab a disgusting wad of gum off the wheel of your shopping cart. You can logically try to explain to your child that the gum is yucky and dirty. I mean it obviously has parking lot debris embedded in it and there are pieces of old food and maybe even squished bugs on it. And junior WANTS it NOW! NOW! NOW!
Every child's personality is completely different therefore temper tantrums vary greatly as well. Some kids bite, hold their breath, hit, fall on the ground, cry, scream (I mean like glass shattering) spin their heads around and on and on. My son was great at doing the limp rag hang, when I would grab his hand to drag him out of a store, he could actually relax every joint in his entire body and move in all directions. He did this while yelling and crying as if I have just killed his dog. He also was able to make his body turn into a slippery eel thing that is impossible to hold onto, falling to the ground like an immovable puddle right in the middle of the checkout lane. It was just amazing and I don't even know what things I did to the kid to warrant THIS! Really, I didn't do anything!
Sometimes you really want to just walk away and pretend it isn't my puddle, and that you have no idea what it is.
Apparently running away from the chaos and your child is not socially acceptable. I can think it though, right? So I would try to pick him up and half carry half drag him out of the store, taking breaks as necessary and desperately trying NOT to drop him.
So, what things do we do to a kid to turn them into a screaming mass? Believe it or not, it's usually not what we as parents do; it's the kid's frustration that does it. Kids in this phase of childhood can't verbalize what they want or need and become frustrated when you just don't get it! They are trying to have more independence and control of their lives but they can't and they don't understand why. To make it worse, they don't have the vocabulary to explain their feelings to you. They might be tired, hungry or just grumpy and not even know what they want.
Kids in this phase have a limited vocabulary, and they can't explain things even though they understand them. As their language skills improve the frequency and severity of the tantrums decrease. The best thing to do with a kid in a tantrum is to stay calm and keep your voice low. I know, impossible you say. But try to empathize with the child. How would you feel if you could start your car put it in gear and push the gas pedal and NOTHING happens, I mean nothing and there isn't a logical reason as to why the darn thing won't work? Then to top it all off you are not able to explain what is going on with your car to anybody. How frustrated would you be? You might even want to have a tantrum yourself. But as an adult it isn't acceptable behavior.
There are also things you can do to a kid prior to the temper tantrum. Before going out on a shopping trip, explain to the child how he should behave at the store. Give the child a goal, if you behave while we are at the store you can watch your favorite movie. Try not to say you will buy them something, you don't want to have to buy them something every time you go to the store. Above all make sure the child knows that he will NOT get what he wants if he has a tantrum. The really hard part of this plan is to stick to that statement. If you give in to a tantrum once they will believe that you will give in again and again.
I guess there is another thing that you can try to do to your kid. Just don't go out anywhere. Or, never take your child with you. Both of which are not realistic things to do to a kid that has tantrums. Try to remember to stay calm, keep your voice low, don't give in to the child and remove them from the environment. The most important thing is DO NOT listen to fellow shoppers who think they know what things to do to the kid, and they just want you shut him up!