Don't look now, but for the good of your friends and neighbors we have appointed a special prosecutor to find out if you've been cheating on your wife (or husband), illegally deducting your entertainment expenses on your income taxes or lying to your boss when you call in sick! But you needn't worry.
The American people don't care.
And, besides, you haven't got a thing to hide; after all, weren't you born without original sin? I've had enough of the current all-out effort by President Clinton's enemies -- especially television shows that like to say they are covering news -- to drive a hard working, effective chief executive out of office.
Haven't you? Sure, I'm a Democrat and Hubert Humphrey-type liberal, but that's beside the point.
This current witch hunt by the right wing and, specifically, by their point man, Kenneth Starr, has to stop ! Personally, I'm ashamed of the way officials of our government, columnists, radio and television personalities and others are drawing from the bottom of the ethical barrel -- for political purposes, for self-aggrandizement, or for ratings.
The ethics of national leaders, both public and private, is becoming more and more worrisome.
How can we allow the likes of Geraldo Rivera, Chris Matthews and Tim Russert -- not to mention those outlandish right-wing radio personalities -- to pollute our airwaves with their drivel? Even our children now are exposed to wild, unsubstantiated charges of sexual indiscretions that mothers around the country have to try to explain to their young ones.
How do you tell a child what these accusations mean? And how do you tell them that it's OK for anyone to make such malicious, libelous comments about our president without regard for truth, ethics or reality? Clinton has been president for five years, and he's been investigated for everything and anything from the moment he had the gall to announce he would run for the office against a Republican.
None of the dozens of accusations against him has been proven, but that hasn't stopped commentators from calling him everything under the sun, over and over again.
I admire President Clinton.
If I were under the barrage he's been under on a daily basis for five years, I'd have lost my top years ago.
The president's critics like to compare his troubles with Watergate or Iran-Contra.
Nothing could be more absurd.
The most serious allegation against Clinton, or even all the allegations put together, don't approach those two incidents.
Both Watergate and Iran-Contra deal with presidential efforts to subvert our existing government and the Constitution of the United States.
While I am disappointed in the ethics and toilet-bowl mentality of many who hold influential positions in the media and in government, I've been heartened by recent newspaper columns as well as statements by courageous individuals in and out of the media that show an understanding of our president's "crisis.
" How many radio and TV three-hour specials on "The White House in Crisis" have you seen or heard? What crisis?