Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse - DVD Review
"Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse," directed by Olivier Dahan, is the 2004 sequel to the 2000 movie Crimson Rivers.
"The Angels of the Apocalypse," as in the first movie, stars French superstar actor Jean Reno as the supercop Niemans, but Vincent Cassel, his sidekick from the first movie is AOL, and is substituted for by Benoit Magimel, as the young cop Rada, who comes to Reno's assistance in finding the gruesome murder of the "12 Apostles.
" The movie starts with Niemans investigating a body, nailed to a cross, and found in the wall of a French monastery, As in the first movie, Rada is investigating a seemingly unrelated incident of a customs clerk in a French airport who is also nailed, like Christ, to his office wall by a homicidal monk.
The poor victim was abducted while eating a homemade meal out of a plastic container, which, no matter which way you nail it, can't be too good for his stomach.
Then, after returning with two fellow cops from a stake out, Rada's car is run into by some kook, dressed like Jesus Christ, who seemed to be out for a late night jog.
Rada admits the maniac to the hospital, and when he returns to visit him the next day, he spots a hooded Monk about to do bad things to the fake Jesus.
The ensuing chase scene is reminiscent of one in the first "Crimson Rivers" movie.
In a five minute tension-filled sequence, Rada, obviously in great shape himself, chases the monk over rooftops, through crowded streets, into a warehouse and even on top of a moving train.
But the crazed monk has speed of an Olympic sprinter, the strength of a weightlifter and the agility of a monkey.
He finally escapes by doing a back-flip off a roof.
Rada runs to the edge of the roof, expecting to see a splattered body, but instead sees the monk sprinting the 100-yard dash to safely.
Now here's where the movie goes totally off the tracks.
Rada returns to the hospital and find out that the Jesus nut actually has the same DNA as the real Jesus Christ.
So Rada and Niemans join forces, as they did in the first movie, but this time to catch a covey of murderous monks, who bolt about like kangaroos on speed, which in fact, is almost exactly what they are on, to achieve their acrobatic abilities.
The two detectives are joined by a female sleuth Marie (Camille Natta), who has an advanced degree in religious studies.
But she is little more than window dressing to a movie that needs all the help it can get.
A gray-bearded Christoper Lee, as a German aristocrat obviously up to no good, adds spice to the performances.
Yet even the ominous presence of Lee does little to catapult this flick past the improbable to almost the impossible.
There's a few nice action sequences, but the final scene drags, and when the movie is over, you'll breath a sigh of release and wonder what exactly was it that you just saw anyway.
The film critics basically panned "Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse," and with good reason.
Christopher Null, of filmcritic.
com wrote, "There aren't many French movies you can rightly consider as guilty pleasures, except the original 'Crimson Rivers', a baffling, yet highly entertaining thriller that has become a cult favorite.
I wish I could say as much about the sequel, which is pretty much nonsense from the first frame.
Before the end, the mystery will entwine Nazis, amphetamine addicts, creepy dudes in robes and, uh, the Maginot Line.
Nudge me if you get it.
" David Nussair of Reel Film reviews was kinder to the movie's crew, but not much, "The movie is punctuated with a number of engrossing, downright thrilling action sequences, and director Olivier Dahan's penchant for over-the-top visuals certainly elevates one's interest on an all-too-periodic basis.
In the end, however, the movie relentless baffling modus operandi cements its place as a hopelessly muddled and downright interminable mess.
" I highly recommended the original "The Crimson Rivers," giving it a solid 4 stars out of a possible 5.
But "Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse," is not in the first movies' class, and even the presence of the indomitable Reno fails to raise the movie past barely enjoyable.
Grudgingly, I give "Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse," a shaky 2 ½ stars, and only because the actions sequences really are awe-inspiring, even though the plot revolving around it, is more jumbled than President Obama's economic policies.
"The Angels of the Apocalypse," as in the first movie, stars French superstar actor Jean Reno as the supercop Niemans, but Vincent Cassel, his sidekick from the first movie is AOL, and is substituted for by Benoit Magimel, as the young cop Rada, who comes to Reno's assistance in finding the gruesome murder of the "12 Apostles.
" The movie starts with Niemans investigating a body, nailed to a cross, and found in the wall of a French monastery, As in the first movie, Rada is investigating a seemingly unrelated incident of a customs clerk in a French airport who is also nailed, like Christ, to his office wall by a homicidal monk.
The poor victim was abducted while eating a homemade meal out of a plastic container, which, no matter which way you nail it, can't be too good for his stomach.
Then, after returning with two fellow cops from a stake out, Rada's car is run into by some kook, dressed like Jesus Christ, who seemed to be out for a late night jog.
Rada admits the maniac to the hospital, and when he returns to visit him the next day, he spots a hooded Monk about to do bad things to the fake Jesus.
The ensuing chase scene is reminiscent of one in the first "Crimson Rivers" movie.
In a five minute tension-filled sequence, Rada, obviously in great shape himself, chases the monk over rooftops, through crowded streets, into a warehouse and even on top of a moving train.
But the crazed monk has speed of an Olympic sprinter, the strength of a weightlifter and the agility of a monkey.
He finally escapes by doing a back-flip off a roof.
Rada runs to the edge of the roof, expecting to see a splattered body, but instead sees the monk sprinting the 100-yard dash to safely.
Now here's where the movie goes totally off the tracks.
Rada returns to the hospital and find out that the Jesus nut actually has the same DNA as the real Jesus Christ.
So Rada and Niemans join forces, as they did in the first movie, but this time to catch a covey of murderous monks, who bolt about like kangaroos on speed, which in fact, is almost exactly what they are on, to achieve their acrobatic abilities.
The two detectives are joined by a female sleuth Marie (Camille Natta), who has an advanced degree in religious studies.
But she is little more than window dressing to a movie that needs all the help it can get.
A gray-bearded Christoper Lee, as a German aristocrat obviously up to no good, adds spice to the performances.
Yet even the ominous presence of Lee does little to catapult this flick past the improbable to almost the impossible.
There's a few nice action sequences, but the final scene drags, and when the movie is over, you'll breath a sigh of release and wonder what exactly was it that you just saw anyway.
The film critics basically panned "Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse," and with good reason.
Christopher Null, of filmcritic.
com wrote, "There aren't many French movies you can rightly consider as guilty pleasures, except the original 'Crimson Rivers', a baffling, yet highly entertaining thriller that has become a cult favorite.
I wish I could say as much about the sequel, which is pretty much nonsense from the first frame.
Before the end, the mystery will entwine Nazis, amphetamine addicts, creepy dudes in robes and, uh, the Maginot Line.
Nudge me if you get it.
" David Nussair of Reel Film reviews was kinder to the movie's crew, but not much, "The movie is punctuated with a number of engrossing, downright thrilling action sequences, and director Olivier Dahan's penchant for over-the-top visuals certainly elevates one's interest on an all-too-periodic basis.
In the end, however, the movie relentless baffling modus operandi cements its place as a hopelessly muddled and downright interminable mess.
" I highly recommended the original "The Crimson Rivers," giving it a solid 4 stars out of a possible 5.
But "Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse," is not in the first movies' class, and even the presence of the indomitable Reno fails to raise the movie past barely enjoyable.
Grudgingly, I give "Crimson Rivers: The Angels of the Apocalypse," a shaky 2 ½ stars, and only because the actions sequences really are awe-inspiring, even though the plot revolving around it, is more jumbled than President Obama's economic policies.