Weather Xenophobia
We're constantly complaining about someone else's weather. "We've got a hot spell coming up from the Gulf of Mexico". Or, "we've got a Colorado Low moving in." Why are we allowing these foreigners to come in here and mess up our town? We should be calling the Governor of Colorado to come up here and get his lousy weather that's screwing up our weekend. Colorado Low. That's a new low, even for you, Colorado! Pretty soon we'll be demanding a passport from the wind.
Local weather is never local. It's somebody else's problem that gets dumped on us. Some times it gets so serious, we've got to call in the army. What does the FLQ have to do with a snow storm? They are the last two causes to send the army into a Canadian city. One was a murderous terrorist organization, the other, some serious flakes. Like, snow so violent, it openly declared war on our streets and sidewalks. Remember Toronto January 1999? And how the rest of the country laughed at us for having to call in the army to shovel our driveways?
I never understood the problem. I mean, those hundreds of soldiers were just sitting around Petawawa; it gave them a chance to get out of Petawawa, get down to the big city, put in a full day's work, then free to have a night on the town. Win win. Have you ever been to Petawawa? If you have, you know, if given the chance to pick up a shovel in Toronto, or, pick up at a picnic in Petawawa, you're picking up the shovel.
We accept the reality that we have to clean up after the slovenly storm, still, we blame somebody else.
The xenophobia of weather. Like how we called Ben Johnson, "Ben Johnson" when he won the gold medal, but, Ben became, "Jamaican born Ben Johnson" when he lost it. And I bet I felt the same as most Canadians when I heard Ben Johnson had tested positive for steroids, I remember thinking: The Americans must've rigged his urine test. The Americans must have gotten hold of Ben Johnson's pee and put dope in it. I wouldn't put it past them, they've been conspiring to send us their crappy weather for years.
Local weather is never local. It's somebody else's problem that gets dumped on us. Some times it gets so serious, we've got to call in the army. What does the FLQ have to do with a snow storm? They are the last two causes to send the army into a Canadian city. One was a murderous terrorist organization, the other, some serious flakes. Like, snow so violent, it openly declared war on our streets and sidewalks. Remember Toronto January 1999? And how the rest of the country laughed at us for having to call in the army to shovel our driveways?
I never understood the problem. I mean, those hundreds of soldiers were just sitting around Petawawa; it gave them a chance to get out of Petawawa, get down to the big city, put in a full day's work, then free to have a night on the town. Win win. Have you ever been to Petawawa? If you have, you know, if given the chance to pick up a shovel in Toronto, or, pick up at a picnic in Petawawa, you're picking up the shovel.
We accept the reality that we have to clean up after the slovenly storm, still, we blame somebody else.
The xenophobia of weather. Like how we called Ben Johnson, "Ben Johnson" when he won the gold medal, but, Ben became, "Jamaican born Ben Johnson" when he lost it. And I bet I felt the same as most Canadians when I heard Ben Johnson had tested positive for steroids, I remember thinking: The Americans must've rigged his urine test. The Americans must have gotten hold of Ben Johnson's pee and put dope in it. I wouldn't put it past them, they've been conspiring to send us their crappy weather for years.