Moving on After Divorce - Building a Support Network
We all need family and friends and never more so than when we are facing or undertaking a major life change.
If we lose a partner, for whatever reason, sometimes relationships we shared with them are lost or damaged and the fear of feeling isolated or lonely becomes greater.
Wherever we are on our life transition journey we need people who care for us in our team.
It is therefore important when we begin a new life, to review our relationships in order that we can develop new ones as well as nurturing older friendships.
The following exercise will be well worth your time and effort and will provide a useful tool for building your support network Start by drawing a circle about 2cms wide in the centre of the page.
Now draw another around the outside, 2cms from the first and keep adding circles until you have five circles inside each other, each one 2 centimetres apart from the other.
The inner-most circle is you.
In the first circle around it write the names of the people in your life with whom you share great intimacy, your secrets and heartfelt emotions.
These are the people that are so dear to you that their absence would impact greatly on your life.
They may or may not include family members.
In the next circle write the names of people who are friends and relatives you call upon to go out to dinner or see a movie, but are not those who you consider your dearest friends or those you must see regularly.
In the third circle you need to include the names of the people you participate with in life.
This could contain spiritual groups, work colleagues, school college and university mates, people from sports and other clubs and organisations you belong to.
Some of these individuals may move to the first or second circle in the future Put people round the outside who are paid to be in your life e.
g.
doctors, dentists, teachers, hairdressers, car mechanics, financial advisors and the like.
Most people have a reasonable number in the each of the circles.
However, people who have recently lost or come out of a permanent relationship may not have any or many in the first circle.
It is the third circle that is the garden for sowing future relationships.
So to make new friends you need to join a club or society, an evening class, gym or organisation where your interests are shared.
Also consider becoming a volunteer.
You will get as much out of your support network as you put into it.
When building a support network it is important to give up your time to help others, even if you are busy with other things.
To build a truly strong support network offer others as much as, or even more than you expect in return.
If we lose a partner, for whatever reason, sometimes relationships we shared with them are lost or damaged and the fear of feeling isolated or lonely becomes greater.
Wherever we are on our life transition journey we need people who care for us in our team.
It is therefore important when we begin a new life, to review our relationships in order that we can develop new ones as well as nurturing older friendships.
The following exercise will be well worth your time and effort and will provide a useful tool for building your support network Start by drawing a circle about 2cms wide in the centre of the page.
Now draw another around the outside, 2cms from the first and keep adding circles until you have five circles inside each other, each one 2 centimetres apart from the other.
The inner-most circle is you.
In the first circle around it write the names of the people in your life with whom you share great intimacy, your secrets and heartfelt emotions.
These are the people that are so dear to you that their absence would impact greatly on your life.
They may or may not include family members.
In the next circle write the names of people who are friends and relatives you call upon to go out to dinner or see a movie, but are not those who you consider your dearest friends or those you must see regularly.
In the third circle you need to include the names of the people you participate with in life.
This could contain spiritual groups, work colleagues, school college and university mates, people from sports and other clubs and organisations you belong to.
Some of these individuals may move to the first or second circle in the future Put people round the outside who are paid to be in your life e.
g.
doctors, dentists, teachers, hairdressers, car mechanics, financial advisors and the like.
Most people have a reasonable number in the each of the circles.
However, people who have recently lost or come out of a permanent relationship may not have any or many in the first circle.
It is the third circle that is the garden for sowing future relationships.
So to make new friends you need to join a club or society, an evening class, gym or organisation where your interests are shared.
Also consider becoming a volunteer.
You will get as much out of your support network as you put into it.
When building a support network it is important to give up your time to help others, even if you are busy with other things.
To build a truly strong support network offer others as much as, or even more than you expect in return.