Creating a Happy, Healthy and Harmonious Home As a Single Mom
Hectic and hurried lives seem to be the norm these days.
Establishing harmony at home is a challenge for the more than 10 million single mothers who are head-of-household for 18 million children.
As the only adult you make decisions and lead the way for your children.
Perhaps you came from a single parent family yourself and didn't have the home atmosphere growing up that you desire for your children.
If your home of origin was not a happy one, creating a different scenario for your children may seem too far out of the realm of possibility.
A few well-established routines can make a difference and make what seems impossible a real possibility.
Your children will grow up with pleasant memories of a stable home and will have the tools needed to create the home of their dreams.
Back in my day Dad came home from work at exactly the same time, riding with a carpool, making it possible for Mom to use the one car during the day.
Times were simpler then.
There was a rhythm to our days.
We knew what to expect, and it was good, for the most part.
Our lives were structured around daily and weekend routines.
According to Dr.
Laura Markham routines are important for children because, "A predictable routine allows children to feel safe, and to develop a sense of mastery in handling their lives.
" Single moms you will enjoy the benefits of routines if you will stand firm until the routines become a part of your everyday lives.
Three routines that will go a long way to creating a healthy and harmonious home are: 1) mealtime, 2) after work and school time, and 3) bedtime.
Mealtime Routines The evidence is in and eating together as a family is the winner.
As you can see from the following studies having meals together makes a significant difference.
• According to R.
Wildavsky, a 1994 study by Louis Harris and Associates students who regularly ate dinner with their families scored better on a test that measured their academic ability.
• Cullen and Baranowski in a paper presented at The American Dietetic Association's Food and Nutrition Conference in 2000 said that families that eat together consume more vegetables, fruit and less soda.
• A Harvard study followed 65 children over 8 years to determine which of several activities most fostered healthy child development and family dinners won out.
You don't have to be the Leave It to Beaver family.
You can create a healthier home with the daily, or almost daily, moments at the family meal.
Here are a few tips.
• Eat at a table.
Devi Titus wrote a lovely book, The Table Experience, which will give you all the reasons why this is important.
• Turn off the TV.
Focus should be on family communication.
• Designate a place at the table for each person.
Mom at the head of the table.
• Say grace.
If you don't know how or feel inadequate, the Internet has prayers you can learn.
• Talk about values, not people.
Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said: "Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, Small minds discuss people.
" • Create traditions that children will remember for a lifetime.
You might ask, "What good thing happened today?" Or "What was one thing you learned today?" Buy a set of table conversation idea cards if necessary to get you started.
On the television show "Blue Bloods" Tom Selleck has said each episode will include the family meal because that is the way he was raised and he thinks it is a good thing.
I think so too.
Family communication is a beneficial only as long as no undue pressure is placed on children and it is a time of pleasure, creating fond memories for a lifetime.
"After school and work routines" and "bedtime routines" will follow in future articles.
Establishing harmony at home is a challenge for the more than 10 million single mothers who are head-of-household for 18 million children.
As the only adult you make decisions and lead the way for your children.
Perhaps you came from a single parent family yourself and didn't have the home atmosphere growing up that you desire for your children.
If your home of origin was not a happy one, creating a different scenario for your children may seem too far out of the realm of possibility.
A few well-established routines can make a difference and make what seems impossible a real possibility.
Your children will grow up with pleasant memories of a stable home and will have the tools needed to create the home of their dreams.
Back in my day Dad came home from work at exactly the same time, riding with a carpool, making it possible for Mom to use the one car during the day.
Times were simpler then.
There was a rhythm to our days.
We knew what to expect, and it was good, for the most part.
Our lives were structured around daily and weekend routines.
According to Dr.
Laura Markham routines are important for children because, "A predictable routine allows children to feel safe, and to develop a sense of mastery in handling their lives.
" Single moms you will enjoy the benefits of routines if you will stand firm until the routines become a part of your everyday lives.
Three routines that will go a long way to creating a healthy and harmonious home are: 1) mealtime, 2) after work and school time, and 3) bedtime.
Mealtime Routines The evidence is in and eating together as a family is the winner.
As you can see from the following studies having meals together makes a significant difference.
• According to R.
Wildavsky, a 1994 study by Louis Harris and Associates students who regularly ate dinner with their families scored better on a test that measured their academic ability.
• Cullen and Baranowski in a paper presented at The American Dietetic Association's Food and Nutrition Conference in 2000 said that families that eat together consume more vegetables, fruit and less soda.
• A Harvard study followed 65 children over 8 years to determine which of several activities most fostered healthy child development and family dinners won out.
You don't have to be the Leave It to Beaver family.
You can create a healthier home with the daily, or almost daily, moments at the family meal.
Here are a few tips.
• Eat at a table.
Devi Titus wrote a lovely book, The Table Experience, which will give you all the reasons why this is important.
• Turn off the TV.
Focus should be on family communication.
• Designate a place at the table for each person.
Mom at the head of the table.
• Say grace.
If you don't know how or feel inadequate, the Internet has prayers you can learn.
• Talk about values, not people.
Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said: "Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, Small minds discuss people.
" • Create traditions that children will remember for a lifetime.
You might ask, "What good thing happened today?" Or "What was one thing you learned today?" Buy a set of table conversation idea cards if necessary to get you started.
On the television show "Blue Bloods" Tom Selleck has said each episode will include the family meal because that is the way he was raised and he thinks it is a good thing.
I think so too.
Family communication is a beneficial only as long as no undue pressure is placed on children and it is a time of pleasure, creating fond memories for a lifetime.
"After school and work routines" and "bedtime routines" will follow in future articles.