Marriage Does Not Collapse Overnight
Success in marriage can happen overnight but maintaining it may take more effort to achieve. Sometimes partners do not notice the signs of trouble that trickle down day after day and may just suddenly be surprised if one day the marriage crumbles down. The small issues may slowly crawl into the relationship without the partners noticing and gradually destroy its foundation. These small issues, when they accumulate, can cause bigger problems to materialize.
Alcoholism is an issue that can slowly alter a marriage until it leads to separation or divorce. The drinking issue resulted in only a minor argument when your spouse had one too many at a party but the problem grew. Soon, they wouldn't stop with one or two drinks, it was several drinks every day. Drinking continues until they begin to pass out and have no idea how they got home.
Slowly you notice the beginning of binge drinking and the promises made but not kept. They're probably drinking at work where you won't notice. Too much drinking often leads to abuse and violence. Then it's easier to spot. Alcoholics are married to the bottle not to you. You wish you would have been aware of the problem sooner, when there was hope.
A controlled relationship is also an issue than can grow slowly. This is where one person begins to feel manipulated or intimidated. Control is increased little by little and gets faster when the controller meets no resistance. You failed to notice it at first and many times you figure it's best to allow the control to keep peace and avoid a confrontation.
Be aware of the controller's low self esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Refuse to become timid and passive or over time it could lead to more power and abuse. Just say no and mean it when you say you're not going to change your mind. If there is no change then know the controller loves power more than you and you may have to terminate the relationship.
Trust can taper off over the years and go unnoticed because it's an issue you don't want to acknowledge. If you can't trust your spouse, then who can you trust? Again watch for constant broken promises that happen more frequently while your trust turns into mistrust. Forgiveness can only be given so much for so long. A marriage without trust cannot be healthy for a long time.
There are as many issues that can affect a marriage as there are different types of people. The issues can go unnoticed and destroy the relationship little by little until the problems are too big to handle. Both partners have to be vigilant and sensitive enough to recognize these signs in order for them to cope and get a chance to save the relationship while they still can.
Alcoholism is an issue that can slowly alter a marriage until it leads to separation or divorce. The drinking issue resulted in only a minor argument when your spouse had one too many at a party but the problem grew. Soon, they wouldn't stop with one or two drinks, it was several drinks every day. Drinking continues until they begin to pass out and have no idea how they got home.
Slowly you notice the beginning of binge drinking and the promises made but not kept. They're probably drinking at work where you won't notice. Too much drinking often leads to abuse and violence. Then it's easier to spot. Alcoholics are married to the bottle not to you. You wish you would have been aware of the problem sooner, when there was hope.
A controlled relationship is also an issue than can grow slowly. This is where one person begins to feel manipulated or intimidated. Control is increased little by little and gets faster when the controller meets no resistance. You failed to notice it at first and many times you figure it's best to allow the control to keep peace and avoid a confrontation.
Be aware of the controller's low self esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Refuse to become timid and passive or over time it could lead to more power and abuse. Just say no and mean it when you say you're not going to change your mind. If there is no change then know the controller loves power more than you and you may have to terminate the relationship.
Trust can taper off over the years and go unnoticed because it's an issue you don't want to acknowledge. If you can't trust your spouse, then who can you trust? Again watch for constant broken promises that happen more frequently while your trust turns into mistrust. Forgiveness can only be given so much for so long. A marriage without trust cannot be healthy for a long time.
There are as many issues that can affect a marriage as there are different types of people. The issues can go unnoticed and destroy the relationship little by little until the problems are too big to handle. Both partners have to be vigilant and sensitive enough to recognize these signs in order for them to cope and get a chance to save the relationship while they still can.