Learn to Be Confident
Confidence is a very funny thing.
Are some people -- those that appear gorgeous and successful among us -- born with it? Of course they aren't.
These people got to be successful and smooth by appearing to be confident.
And what about those who were lucky enough to choose the right parents or get dipped in the pretty-gene pool? Well, you might not believe it but often these people are surprisingly insecure and frightened -- of losing their looks, of appearing stupid or vacuous, of growing old and putting on weight, or of having no one love them for any reason other than their looks.
You don't have to be beautiful to be confident.
Go ahead and accept the ride home with the cute guy from your office who you never thought would ask you out.
Introduce yourself to the fascinating girl you'd really like to know better.
Or at least say "hello" to the person you see at the bus stop every day.
Smart people do the best they can with what they've got, and they don't whine too much in the process.
Confidence can be thought of as the ability to trust yourself and convey that trust to other people.
Appearance is half the battle.
If you want to appear confident whether you feel confident or not, try the following tips:
For example top sportspeople will often talk about that unless they have that adrenaline rush, they're not going to give a really top-notch performance.
Learn to make those nerves work for you.
Remind yourself that you've felt this way before, and survived; what's the worst thing that could happen, and how likely is that? It's perfectly OK to feel a bit on edge.
Remember confidence is both that inner voice and that more obvious outer show.
As I'm sure you've figured out, the woman who wears the flashy, low cut dress and the man who brags about his conquests might not be confident at all, they may be insecure and trying to convince other folks of their appeal.
Anything you use to build confidence needs to go deeper and work for you, not against you.
You don't want to send an easily misread or misinterpreted signal.
Doing something harmful to your basic sense of self doesn't make any sense.
On the other hand, positive activities build real self-assurance.
A final thought is make sure that you're not buying confidence through chemistry -- alcohol or other drugs -- because it's short-lived, unproductive, and dangerous.
If you don't believe me, try being stone cold sober around a bunch of drunks.
Are some people -- those that appear gorgeous and successful among us -- born with it? Of course they aren't.
These people got to be successful and smooth by appearing to be confident.
And what about those who were lucky enough to choose the right parents or get dipped in the pretty-gene pool? Well, you might not believe it but often these people are surprisingly insecure and frightened -- of losing their looks, of appearing stupid or vacuous, of growing old and putting on weight, or of having no one love them for any reason other than their looks.
You don't have to be beautiful to be confident.
Go ahead and accept the ride home with the cute guy from your office who you never thought would ask you out.
Introduce yourself to the fascinating girl you'd really like to know better.
Or at least say "hello" to the person you see at the bus stop every day.
Smart people do the best they can with what they've got, and they don't whine too much in the process.
Confidence can be thought of as the ability to trust yourself and convey that trust to other people.
Appearance is half the battle.
If you want to appear confident whether you feel confident or not, try the following tips:
- Make sure you smile.
A smile convinces others you're happy and healthy and wise.
A frown makes you look like you're worried or frightened. - Make sure to stand up straight.
Posture counts.
A straight spine denotes purpose and strength.
Face forward.
Think military bearing rather than bent-over old guy, and you'll get the picture. - Make eye contact.
It's all in the eyes.
Showing that you're not afraid to look someone in the eye means that you're strong and truthful and willing to meet their scrutiny.
One of the most blatant tip-offs to a lie is the liar's inability to make eye contact.
Your mother knew that when she said, "Look me in the eye and tell me you you didn't eat the last cookie!" - Shake hands with a good firm handshake.
Whether you're a man or woman, when you're in a new situation, walking confidently into someone else's space and putting out your hand and firmly (don't crush someone's hand and don't offer a limp hand) shows you are offering a part of yourself in a friendly but assertive way, and smacks of good things about you: You're not afraid, you are an equal, you're friendly and you're engaging.
A firm handshake while looking someone in the eye works wonders in both business and personal situations.
For example top sportspeople will often talk about that unless they have that adrenaline rush, they're not going to give a really top-notch performance.
Learn to make those nerves work for you.
Remind yourself that you've felt this way before, and survived; what's the worst thing that could happen, and how likely is that? It's perfectly OK to feel a bit on edge.
Remember confidence is both that inner voice and that more obvious outer show.
As I'm sure you've figured out, the woman who wears the flashy, low cut dress and the man who brags about his conquests might not be confident at all, they may be insecure and trying to convince other folks of their appeal.
Anything you use to build confidence needs to go deeper and work for you, not against you.
You don't want to send an easily misread or misinterpreted signal.
Doing something harmful to your basic sense of self doesn't make any sense.
On the other hand, positive activities build real self-assurance.
A final thought is make sure that you're not buying confidence through chemistry -- alcohol or other drugs -- because it's short-lived, unproductive, and dangerous.
If you don't believe me, try being stone cold sober around a bunch of drunks.