Six Easy Steps to a Gracious, Comforting Letter of Condolence
Do you face writing a letter of condolence with dread? Like so many, you may feel tongue-tied when dealing with the need for the utmost delicacy and warmth. Yet you also know what a solace such a letter can be, so take up your pen and let the bereaved know he or she is not alone.
These simple steps will help you through the task.
1. Don’t put it off.
Write within the first two weeks after the death. And that means actually write. By hand. With a pen. No type smoothly turned out by your printer will do. Handwriting may be an almost lost art in this computer age, but it is still required in this very personal communication. Find good stationery. If you buy a card of condolence from the store, fold your letter inside.
2. Begin by expressing your sympathy for the loss, making sure you mention the name of the deceased.
“The news of Ellen’s passing came as a shock. My warmest thoughts are with you in your sorrow.”
“In this time of grief and loss, please know that you have our heartfelt sympathy. Accept our sincere condolences on the death of your Uncle Harvey.”
3. Provide some memories of the deceased, telling how he or she touched your life.
“Ellen was one of the kindest, most cheerful people I have known. For as long as I can remember, Ellen was always the best gardener on our block. She helped my children plant their butterfly garden which still brings bright visitors to our yard. How we all enjoyed ourselves at meetings when Ellen hosted our garden club.
“Your Uncle Harvey gave us invaluable advice when we started our business. The clients he so generously sent our way got us through some lean early times. We appreciated his wise help so much.”
4. Offer practical help if you know it is needed.
“Our family will be happy to cut the grass and weed Ellen’s beloved flower beds until you feel up to it again. We are only a phone call away if there is anything else we can do.”
“Please feel free to store Harvey’s boat at our cottage while you wind up your uncle’s affairs.”
5. End with words of comfort.
“I’m sure all the wonderful memories of Ellen will sustain you in the trying days ahead.”
“You can take comfort in knowing how deeply Harvey loved you and your family.”
Most of all, make your letter simple, direct and from the heart. The important thing is to let the recipient know you care. Then the warmth of our words will bring comfort where it is needed the most.
Copyright Gail Hamilton 2009
These simple steps will help you through the task.
1. Don’t put it off.
Write within the first two weeks after the death. And that means actually write. By hand. With a pen. No type smoothly turned out by your printer will do. Handwriting may be an almost lost art in this computer age, but it is still required in this very personal communication. Find good stationery. If you buy a card of condolence from the store, fold your letter inside.
2. Begin by expressing your sympathy for the loss, making sure you mention the name of the deceased.
“The news of Ellen’s passing came as a shock. My warmest thoughts are with you in your sorrow.”
“In this time of grief and loss, please know that you have our heartfelt sympathy. Accept our sincere condolences on the death of your Uncle Harvey.”
3. Provide some memories of the deceased, telling how he or she touched your life.
“Ellen was one of the kindest, most cheerful people I have known. For as long as I can remember, Ellen was always the best gardener on our block. She helped my children plant their butterfly garden which still brings bright visitors to our yard. How we all enjoyed ourselves at meetings when Ellen hosted our garden club.
“Your Uncle Harvey gave us invaluable advice when we started our business. The clients he so generously sent our way got us through some lean early times. We appreciated his wise help so much.”
4. Offer practical help if you know it is needed.
“Our family will be happy to cut the grass and weed Ellen’s beloved flower beds until you feel up to it again. We are only a phone call away if there is anything else we can do.”
“Please feel free to store Harvey’s boat at our cottage while you wind up your uncle’s affairs.”
5. End with words of comfort.
“I’m sure all the wonderful memories of Ellen will sustain you in the trying days ahead.”
“You can take comfort in knowing how deeply Harvey loved you and your family.”
Most of all, make your letter simple, direct and from the heart. The important thing is to let the recipient know you care. Then the warmth of our words will bring comfort where it is needed the most.
Copyright Gail Hamilton 2009