Usually I try to "push through" this, but this year I decided to listen to my Inner Voice.
Instead of rushing around targeting, putting myself "out there" and trying for things, I simply sat still, experienced my sensations and noticed my thoughts.
When I did this, I noticed many things I had overlooked.
I noticed I was tired.
I noticed I needed sleep and relaxation.
I noticed that there were many upsetting and traumatic things that had happened over the past year that I had pushed through and not stopped to feel.
I noticed there were things I was frustrated about that I hadn't stopped to feel.
And instead of trying to "do" something about things, I just sat and experienced them.
It was me and my Inner Child, me and my memories (which are from the past but only exist in the present, in my body and mind, in the form of sensations.
) I've often been terrified to do this, because I thought that if I just sat still and felt my sensations and thought my thoughts, I would be overwhelmed by pain and inertia, and would never do anything.
But that's not what happened.
What I was doing was being with my Inner Child, with my past, and that's all the Inner Child needs.
To be seen, felt and heard by our Inner Adult in the places where it went through trauma alone.
Our Inner Child is still in those places, and always will be, because the past "happened" and cannot be changed or taken away.
And it's that Inner Child who will keep grabbing for our attention by generating situations in the present that feel, to our present adult, like those the child went through, in hopes that we will feel what our Inner Child felt and be with it.
Unfortunately, what we often try to do is push through those situations instead of noticing and being with our Inner Child.
Our Inner Child then has no choice but to create more upset in our lives in hopes that we will see it, hear and feel it.
So I simply sat down, felt my sensations and thought my thoughts.
I was connecting with what it felt like for my Inner Child (my past self) to go through things without support.
I was connecting to my dreams and wishes, and instead of trying to grab for them and push through my "resistance" I was allowing myself to notice that I feel uncomfortable when I "dare" to wish for what I want, and allowing myself to notice that thoughts of fear and impossibility come up when I dream my dreams.
And I let all that simply be there while I continued to dream my dreams.
The first thing that happened was that I began to feel at peace.
We all think that peace is feeling comfortable, but peace is actually nothing more than being with what is.
If we feel guilty, we do not need to get rid of the feeling of guilt to be at peace.
We simply need to be with the feeling of guilt.
This is being with "what is" for the Inner Child, and that's all we need do.
We do not need to achieve the dream that has eluded us to be at peace.
We simply need to notice that we have a dream and that we feel frustrated or scared or whatever.
So I did this.
In essence I recreated, for my Inner Child, the parts of childhood I missed.
The part where there was nothing to strive for, no obligation, nothing that couldn't be said or felt.
I was just sitting with what is.
Inside.
Taking no action.
Not targeting or doing anything.
Sitting with myself for the sake of sitting with myself.
Being for the sake of being.
And lo and behold, phone calls started to come in offering me work, I spontaneously started to write the things I wanted to write, bills got paid, projects got started, I was inclined to set up an appointment with a nutritionist, I got some body work done, I set up a west coast tour...
Things happened, but this time it was different.
As things started to happen, I didn't attach to them.
They didn't mean anything.
They were simply a reflection of who I was being inside.
The manifestations had no importance.
They were just the mirror.
I could feel that the only important thing was my connection to my interior experience at every moment.
Strangely enough, almost every time something good happened, I noticed that along with my excitement, I was also uncomfortable.
And instead of pushing through that, I would stop and be with that discomfort, be with whatever was going on.
And I would return to a state of peace.
So, if you find yourself making a lot of resolutions and trying to do things when New Year's rolls around, every time you get uncomfortable, every time you get worried, every time you get tired, every time you feel hopeless, simply STOP and experience your sensations.
This is an instant reset which gets you back to the fact that the only thing that's important, the only thing that's real, the only thing that is happening at any moment is your experience.