There is not much point in generating brilliant ideas if we are unable to persuade people of their value. Whether you want to improve your salesmanship, management skills or you simply want to win an argument, you will need to learn how to persuade. With the right tactics even the most stubborn of people will see your point of view.

The power of body language

Every day we argue, we promise, we reason, we negotiate. To accomplish these actions we employ all the verbal means at our disposal, but most of us give a little thought to our nonverbal actions. In some situations we raise tone, or we implement anger and gestures of domination to carry the day. Nonverbal persuasion works on a subconscious level and it can influence conversations and negotiations, allowing all sides to save face and avoid deep argument. The basic steps we to follow when the emotions start erupting:

Reflect the other person's stance – by mirroring his posture you can head off potential troubles. Establish non-verbal agreement, before the real negotiation begins. With this tactic you will send an unconscious message to your opponent that you are on an equal level and generally in agreement with them.

Use body language if heckling begins – our natural instincts make us either to back away from anyone attacking us, or get closer and start a direct fight. Instead, stand shoulder to shoulder facing in the same direction with your collocutor and you will cease his protest. To temper a situation in which the feelings run high, spread your hands out, palms down and gently push them down – this gesture will send a clear message that it is wise to calm down.

Strategies to win an argument

Usually, in a dispute each person tries to prove/enforce his point of view. This is wrong, because an argument cannot be won with resistance, as it only enhances the other person's resolve. Instead of trying to be right, change the focus of the conversation and get your opponent on your side. Get a strong position in a debate by making statements you know he agrees with. This strategy is used mostly by telemarketers – they convince us to buy their products by demonstrating their sympathy and understanding to our needs, not by criticizing our beliefs.

Show your opponent that he is wrong, with invisible attacks.  Use good counter-arguments and good-manner and show respect for his opinion. Engage in a debate only if you are prepared for it, because it is annoying to debate a topic with a person who simply makes up arguments on the fly. After a strong argument, let the other part do all the talking – especially if he/she lacks the facts to oppose you. This will tangle him/her (as no one likes silence), giving you a variety of new trumps.  This is a way to get the best of an argument by avoiding it. Let's imagine that you were a Ford salesman. A client comes and says: "Ford's cars are no good! I wouldn't take one if you gave it to me. I'm going to get a VW." Your reaction should be: "Listen, buddy, VW's cars are good cars. They are a quality product sold by a steady company." He is speechless then, because there is no room for an argument. When you agree with him, he won't go on and you will be able to demonstrate him Ford's good points.

You can also take advantage of the "Socratic method": when the counterpart states a fact, start asking questions, in order to expose its faults. Questions like "Can you give me an example?", "Does this seem reasonable, if…(a contrary fact)" will lead your opponent to the truth and if he is honest, he will concede or walk out in frustration. In both cases you will be the winner. Note: you should always be ready to accept a defeat, if you don't want to lose face. Stubbornness manifests weakness and small-mindedness.

Blame yourself and don't tell the other party directly he is wrong: We change our minds when there is no resistance or heavy emotion. If someone tries to invade our beliefs, telling us we are wrong, we simply "close the gate" in order to defend our threatened self-esteem. When handled tactfully, we are more open to admit our mistakes. Begin by saying "Well, I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let's examine the facts.", instead of shooting the truth vigorously.

Let the counterpart feel that the idea is his/hers. In the past Theodore Roosevelt forced through reforms, against the views of the political bosses with the following tactic: when an office was to be filled, he called the political bosses to counsel him. When they were offering him someone he disliked, he was saying: "To appoint such a man would not be good politics, as the public would not approve." Or "This man will not live up to the expectations of the public." When they were naming the sort of man Roosevelt would pick, he expressed his gratitude for their assistance, letting them take the credit for the appointment. After that, he pointed out that he tended to please them and it was their turn to please him.

 Read also: Life is a constant negotiation. Learn how to do it successfully