In abusive relationships, one spouse may seek to control the other by limiting their financial access. Your spouse may be financially abusing you if they monitor or attempt to limit your purchases, take your paycheck and put it in their account, use your social security number to open accounts without your permission, max out your accounts, or use their money to control you if you don’t make as much.

Financial abuse may be coupled with physical or emotional abuse and used to keep you from leaving the relationship. You are not powerless. There are ways to protect yourself and your credit from your abusive spouse.

You may be tempted to close joint accounts to limit your spouse’s ability to run up debt that you’ll be liable for. Tread carefully. If your spouse is physically abusive, having these accounts closed could set them into a rage. If you're not prepared to leave the relationship, closing or draining joint accounts could backfire. Seek help from family, friends, or a domestic violence organization near you if you fear your safety and need help leaving the relationship.

Have Accounts That Only You Can Access

Open an account or several credit and bank accounts in your name only that your spouse doesn’t know about. You may have to take extra steps to keep these accounts well hidden. This isn’t necessarily an advocacy for keeping secrets from your spouse, particularly in a normal relationship.

However, if your spouse has an addiction or seeks to control your finances, you need to have access to credit and cash that your spouse does not know about.

Don’t carry your secret credit or debit card it in your wallet or your pockets. You may have to leave the card with a neighbor, friend, or relative, but make sure it’s someone who will answer your calls if you need the card in an emergency in the middle of the night.

Have the credit card statements sent to another address – one that your spouse doesn't access to. If the statements are sent to the address you share with your spouse, they can be intercepted. Even if you normally check the mail, err on the side of caution.

Do not check the credit card account from your home computer or any devices your spouse has access to. There are programs that can detect computer keystrokes and even take periodic screen captures. Your spouse may have hidden cameras in the home that can monitor your computer usage. Only check your credit card account from a computer your spouse has no access to or no way of knowing that you’ve used.

Don’t call your credit card issuer from your home or cell phone, especially if your spouse can access your call records. It’s better to use a work phone or a friend or relative’s phone. Don’t take any chances.

Be aware that if your spouse monitors your credit report, they can find out about any new credit card accounts opened in your name.

Protect Your Credit From Newly Opened Accounts

 An abusive spouse may purposely ruin your credit to continue to control you or make it harder for you to leave. It’s likely that your spouse knows your social security number, or at least where to find it, so opening accounts in your name won’t be hard. And if your spouse does open accounts in your name, you’ll be responsible for the bills unless you report the fraud to your credit card issuer.

You can keep your spouse from opening accounts in your name by placing a security freeze on all three of your credit reports. The security freeze will prevent creditors from accessing your account unless you’ve given a PIN or password to unlock your credit. The security freeze will also keep your spouse from checking your credit report and learning of any accounts you’ve recently opened.

Be careful about the timing of your actions. If you’re not ready to leave and your spouse finds out that you have new accounts or that you’ve locked your credit, they may go into a rage that worsens the situation.