How to Stop Arguing - 3 Tips For "Real" Men
How to stop arguing? Picture this: You've had a hell-of-a-day, you come home, and open the door and the first thing you hear is, "why didn't you take out the trash this morning?" Immediately you go into attack mode, ready to unleash a torrent of expletive laden, frustration loaded, ultra-nasty gems of wisdom for your partner when you look up and see your 4 year old daughter standing in the doorway with Roxie the teddy bear.
What do you do? Do you let it fly? Do you bite your tongue and save it for another time? Hopefully you find a way to cull your anger for a moment before you damage both your relationship and your child.
If you find this particularly difficult to do here are a couple of tips.
1.
) Did you say you would take out the trash? Consider the fact that you partner, despite there seemingly insensitive tort, may have had an equally unpleasant day and may not be as well equipped to deal with the situation as you.
2.
) If you said you would do it then take a deep breath.
And reply as calmly as possible.
"I am sorry.
I said I would take out the trash and I forgot.
I will do it now.
" While you are taking out the trash take a minute to let your anger subside.
3.
) If you can't calm down return to your partner and say something like, "Honey I hope your day has been better than mine, do you need a break?"If she says yes then suck it up and give her one - YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS BAD DAYS! Trust me fellas you will be ten time better off if you just take a minute, bite your tongue and calm the situation down.
Let your wife (or girlfriend) know that after you give her a break that you are going to need some down time of your own.
Here is the thing.
You can "Man-Up" all you want and let your girl have it.
I say go for it and see how that goes for you.
The truth is that being a man means taking charge of the situation and finding a solution that is best for the relationship.
Sometimes this means you have to make a few sacrifices to figure out how to stop arguing.
It does not mean that you are weak or that you are letting your partner walk over you.
On the contrary, I say never let you your wife our girlfriend or anyone else push you around.
But not being a push-over has nothing to do with barking orders or being "Commander in Chief".
It has everything to do with protecting your relationship and doing what is right for the health of your family.
If the situation is emotionally charged it is up to you to take control and provide focus and stability.
For the ladies that might be reading this: Let's face it, females are generally more emotional in these situations, and being emotionally charged really does not help when it comes to arguments.
There are several techniques that can help both men and women learn how to use emotions more productively, more on that later..
..
What do you do? Do you let it fly? Do you bite your tongue and save it for another time? Hopefully you find a way to cull your anger for a moment before you damage both your relationship and your child.
If you find this particularly difficult to do here are a couple of tips.
1.
) Did you say you would take out the trash? Consider the fact that you partner, despite there seemingly insensitive tort, may have had an equally unpleasant day and may not be as well equipped to deal with the situation as you.
2.
) If you said you would do it then take a deep breath.
And reply as calmly as possible.
"I am sorry.
I said I would take out the trash and I forgot.
I will do it now.
" While you are taking out the trash take a minute to let your anger subside.
3.
) If you can't calm down return to your partner and say something like, "Honey I hope your day has been better than mine, do you need a break?"If she says yes then suck it up and give her one - YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS BAD DAYS! Trust me fellas you will be ten time better off if you just take a minute, bite your tongue and calm the situation down.
Let your wife (or girlfriend) know that after you give her a break that you are going to need some down time of your own.
Here is the thing.
You can "Man-Up" all you want and let your girl have it.
I say go for it and see how that goes for you.
The truth is that being a man means taking charge of the situation and finding a solution that is best for the relationship.
Sometimes this means you have to make a few sacrifices to figure out how to stop arguing.
It does not mean that you are weak or that you are letting your partner walk over you.
On the contrary, I say never let you your wife our girlfriend or anyone else push you around.
But not being a push-over has nothing to do with barking orders or being "Commander in Chief".
It has everything to do with protecting your relationship and doing what is right for the health of your family.
If the situation is emotionally charged it is up to you to take control and provide focus and stability.
For the ladies that might be reading this: Let's face it, females are generally more emotional in these situations, and being emotionally charged really does not help when it comes to arguments.
There are several techniques that can help both men and women learn how to use emotions more productively, more on that later..
..