Show Not Tell - For Starters!
The following extract is taken from Chapter 26 of the novel 'Not Dead Enough' by the famous thriller writer Peter James:
In this case, more than most, he also actually predicts what is going to happen.
There can be no doubt this is the author speaking directly to you, the reader.
In so doing, he not only announces his presence, he actually shouts it through the prediction: telling you what he is thinking of writing next.
This is a bold example of telling rather than showing.
Here is another example of telling from the first paragraph of Chapter 7:
As before, the reader sees this as author opinion.
The point of this article is to explain why there is a problem with this technique if you use it as a debut novelist.
There is a good adage that a debut author should follow: 'show, not tell'.
In the example, the first six paragraphs of this novel tell us what it is like on a particular golf course: from the author's viewpoint.
Because of this, the reader is strongly aware of the author's presence, and this ruins something I believe a novelist should always strive to achieve, something publishers call: 'the suspension of disbelief'.
In other words, the realism should be so great that the reader should be able to suspend the conscious reminder they are reading fiction--and thereby become more greatly immersed within the story.
By so doing, the reader should feel added realism and gain more enjoyment.
The way to do this is to show what things are like through one of the character's eyes or their mind, not provide a separate commentary.
Since it is Bishop noting all this about the golf course, the last extract could be written as follows:
It was not even necessary to say: "Bishop thought it was promising to be...
" since that is understood, given the sentence places our focus on Bishop right from the start.
Showing, not telling, is an important exercise in creative writing courses, and hopefully the above examples show why this issue is so important.
By showing, rather than telling, you demonstrate a higher degree of skill to a potential publisher or agent and make yourself more likely to be accepted.
It is something that needs to be constantly in your mind, for it is otherwise so easy to tell rather than show.
Your autopilot wants to write what you, the author, is thinking, not what your character is thinking.
You need to keep telling yourself to show all the time.
You must ensure such showing is done through the eyes of the viewpoint character of the appropriate scene, otherwise you are hopping into the mind of another character which, very probably, you should not do; ideally you should only have one viewpoint character per scene in order to avoid confusing the reader.
So this all goes to show how carefully you must write, and how easy it is to slip into the easier telling mode.
While an established novelist can get away with telling, I would strongly suggest a debut novelist cannot.
I also believe the 'show, not tell' adage should be considered as a fine rule to follow if you want to make your stories more memorable: because the reader becomes more immersed and emotionally involved in your stories.
That's what makes them memorable and whets a reader's appetite for more.
You need to show you can get it right in order to tell a publisher you are worth publishing.
Does that mean a rewrite for you? I hope not.
But if so, then live with it, that's what an author does.
It's just another thing to do in the next draft.
Just feel pleased you are making it better! If this article interests you, please visit the related article on my website for a longer version on this subject, plus further articles of interest to authors.
Over the course of the following hours and days he would get to know more about Katie Bishop than anybody else on earth.In this passage, and many others in this novel, the author tells you what he thinks about the situation.
More than her husband, her parents, her siblings, her best friends.
In this case, more than most, he also actually predicts what is going to happen.
There can be no doubt this is the author speaking directly to you, the reader.
In so doing, he not only announces his presence, he actually shouts it through the prediction: telling you what he is thinking of writing next.
This is a bold example of telling rather than showing.
Here is another example of telling from the first paragraph of Chapter 7:
It was promising to be that rarest of things, a sublime English summer's day...These feeling are eventually attributed to a character called Bishop, as we discover in the seventh paragraph.
The heat was so intense you could almost scrape it off your skin...
As before, the reader sees this as author opinion.
The point of this article is to explain why there is a problem with this technique if you use it as a debut novelist.
There is a good adage that a debut author should follow: 'show, not tell'.
In the example, the first six paragraphs of this novel tell us what it is like on a particular golf course: from the author's viewpoint.
Because of this, the reader is strongly aware of the author's presence, and this ruins something I believe a novelist should always strive to achieve, something publishers call: 'the suspension of disbelief'.
In other words, the realism should be so great that the reader should be able to suspend the conscious reminder they are reading fiction--and thereby become more greatly immersed within the story.
By so doing, the reader should feel added realism and gain more enjoyment.
The way to do this is to show what things are like through one of the character's eyes or their mind, not provide a separate commentary.
Since it is Bishop noting all this about the golf course, the last extract could be written as follows:
Bishop took his stance at the tee.Do you see how this personalizes the situation to Bishop's viewpoint? Now the reader simply understands what Bishop is thinking and disbelief is no longer suspended: because it is no longer an issue.
It was promising to be that rarest of things, a sublime English summer's day...
The heat was so intense he felt he could almost scrape it off his skin...
It was not even necessary to say: "Bishop thought it was promising to be...
" since that is understood, given the sentence places our focus on Bishop right from the start.
Showing, not telling, is an important exercise in creative writing courses, and hopefully the above examples show why this issue is so important.
By showing, rather than telling, you demonstrate a higher degree of skill to a potential publisher or agent and make yourself more likely to be accepted.
It is something that needs to be constantly in your mind, for it is otherwise so easy to tell rather than show.
Your autopilot wants to write what you, the author, is thinking, not what your character is thinking.
You need to keep telling yourself to show all the time.
You must ensure such showing is done through the eyes of the viewpoint character of the appropriate scene, otherwise you are hopping into the mind of another character which, very probably, you should not do; ideally you should only have one viewpoint character per scene in order to avoid confusing the reader.
So this all goes to show how carefully you must write, and how easy it is to slip into the easier telling mode.
While an established novelist can get away with telling, I would strongly suggest a debut novelist cannot.
I also believe the 'show, not tell' adage should be considered as a fine rule to follow if you want to make your stories more memorable: because the reader becomes more immersed and emotionally involved in your stories.
That's what makes them memorable and whets a reader's appetite for more.
You need to show you can get it right in order to tell a publisher you are worth publishing.
Does that mean a rewrite for you? I hope not.
But if so, then live with it, that's what an author does.
It's just another thing to do in the next draft.
Just feel pleased you are making it better! If this article interests you, please visit the related article on my website for a longer version on this subject, plus further articles of interest to authors.