Who would have thought that a politician's downfall could come from male genitalia? Insert requisite Anthony Weiner joke here. But even the Athenians suffered from a similar problem - in the form of a statue. The god ermes, messenger of the Olympians and master of mischief, travelers, and more, was portrayed in statuary with a big…feature.

His bearded head (or that of a famous citizen) was shown mounted on a large rock, at the bottom of which was an erect penis.


Called hermai, or herms, these statues often served as milestones or boundary markers. But trouble arose happened when some Athenians got a bit frisky…and had a bit too much fun with the hermai.

What's Up with These Hermai?

According to ancient sources. Hipparchus, son of the Athenian tyrant Peisistratos, first set up the hermai, located on roads heading into Athens, in the sixth century B.C. According to Plato’s Hipparchus, Hipparchus, “with the design of educating those of the countryside…set up figures of Hermes for them along the roads in the midst of the city and every district town.” In reality, hermai weren't just in Athens, and they could be dated to around before Hipparchus’s time.

Why put Hermes on top of a statue with an erect penis? So the god of travelers, shepherds, and flocks would “oversee the political and financial obligations [involving his domains of sheep and merchants] tying one city-state to its surrounding rural regions and tribute-paying subject states,” writes historian James Fredal in his essay "Herm Choppers, the Adonia, and Rhetorical Action in Ancient Greece." Hermes would presumably keep watch over commerce of all sorts going in and out of Athens.

Hermai didn’t end up just on the streets, though.

As Plutarch mentions, Hipparchus supposedly established the hermai with the intent of educating the average Athenian Joe. How did he do that? He inscribed the hermai with wise sayings. One side of the statue would state that the god “stands in the midst of the city or the township,” while the other would read, “The memorial of Hipparchus: walk with just intent.” This form of propaganda would also serve to keep Hipparchus and his wisdom in the public eye.

Politics and Phalloi

The hermai came to the forefront of politics during one of the most important events in Athenian history, the Peloponnesian War. At this time, the politician Alcibiades was intent on invading the city of Syracuse in Sicily. General favor appeared to be pro-war and pro-Alcibiades, but it didn’t stay that way. Men tried to get Alcibiades arrested by accusing him of profaning the Eleusinian Mysteries, secret rites celebrating Demeter, and acting out a parody of them at a friend's home. But according to ancient sources, such accusations came from those who were just jealous of Alcibiades’ influence over the Athenian people.

In 415 B.C., similar accusations came from an incident occurred involving thehermai. One night, before Alcibiades left for Syracuse, the hermai in the city of Athens all had their faces destroyed, according to Thucydides.  Plutarch echoes this misadventure in his later Life of Alcibiades, saying,  “Moreover, the mutilation of the Hermae, most of which, in a single night, had their faces and forms disfigured, confounded the hearts of many, even among those who usually set small store by such things.” The Athenians understood this impious act as a bad omen for the upcoming journey to Syracuse and a product of a political conspiracy

So it seems that more than just the statues' faces were removed. It seems hermai’s most prominent feature, their genitals, were mutilated, as well. By removing the hermai’s penises, the criminals, called hermokopidai, or “herm choppers,”  were not only offending the gods, but depriving the districts of the penises’ apotropaic and fertility-inducing powers. Whoever did this, then, was someone who wanted to hurt the city and its people.

Whodunnit?

No one knew exactly who violated the hermai. Were the criminals drunken revelers? Citizens of the rival city of Corinth? Plutarch observes, “It was said, it is true, that Corinthians had done the deed, Syracuse being a colony of theirs, in the hope that such portents would check or stop the war.”  Perhaps they were tipsy aristocrats, flaunting the impunity of their social status. The latter possibility makes sense, since Thucydides mentions other statues being desecrated as a result of “wantonness and too much wine by young men.”

Some ancient sources claim that this was all a result of rivals plotting against Alcibiades. His enemies wanted to cause havoc in Athens so the public would take a second look at the government’s deeds (i.e., his mission to Syracuse). Says Plutarch, “They looked on the occurrence with wrath and fear, thinking it the sign of a bold and dangerous conspiracy. They therefore scrutinized keenly every suspicious circumstance, the council and the assembly convening for this purpose many times within a few days.”

As a result of having suspicion cast on him, Alcibiades, who was about to embark on a mission that could change his career and the fate of his city, appeared to be a sacrilegious criminal. Not only was he both drunken and immoral lout, but he was one who disregarded the gods. Surely such a man would not be worthy of leading the Athenians into battle! The conspirators would have removed any prestige he planned to attain in Syracuse – not that that attempt at conquest went well, a sure sign of the gods’ displeasure later on. They made Alcibiades into little more than a common criminal, also depriving him of a political future in the eyes of the public.

Culprit Number One: Athenian Men

One of Alcibiades' chief enemies, Androcles, led the charge against Alcibiades with the accusation of sacrilege. Androcles brought out “sundry aliens and slaves who accused Alcibiades and his friends of mutilating other sacred images, and of making a parody of the mysteries of Eleusis in a drunken revel" as witnesses, writes Plutarch.

The accusations were so serious that Alcibiades was impeached on charges of impiety. His enemies insisted that he sail off to war, but they stirred up even more trouble while he was gone. In his absence, his property was seized and his life declared forfeit. In the process. the Athenians engaged in a witch hunt that condemned many other citizens, not just absent Alcibiades. Eventually, Alcibiades was called back from Sicily to answer for his so-called crime, but was later forced to flee to Sparta to save his life...although his career eventually recovered.

One man accused of mutilating the hermai and the Eleusinian Mysteries scandal was an orator named Andocides. His speech defending himself against these charges has survived; it is called On the Mysteries.  Andocides says he knew about the mutilation before it even happened, but he didn’t taken part in it. He accuses another guy named Euphiletus of masterminding the hermai conspiracy “during a drinking bout." In fact, Andocides himself couldn’t have been involved because he fell off a horse and hit his head, as well as dislocated his collarbone. So he was home resting while the troublemakers were out and about, he alleges.

The prosecution’s account of the case against Andocides also still exists. The lawyer in charge, Lysias, argues that, if the jury decides to acquit Andocides, it would be such a travesty that Athens would have to throw out its ancestral laws. Andocides, a man guilty of the charge of impiety, says Lysias, "made it clear to the Greeks that he does not worship the gods.” Of that and other alleged crimes, Lysias claimed Andocides was guilty. Note: Andodices was acquitted.

Culprit Number Two: Athenian Womenand Slaves

What if women were the ones to destroy the hermai? In particular, scholars point to the hetaerae, the educated female companions of the elite. Fredal notes that those “most likely to oppose the expedition” to Syracuse “were those with the least to gain and the most to lose [by being captured or raped if Athens lost], those who could express themselves only via symbolic action.”

These disenfranchised groups possibly took action in the only way they could - metaphorically. They did so by providing an ill-omened beginning to a journey that, if it failed, could only rain chaos down on Athens, and them in particular. Besides, writes classicist James F. McGlew, such a widespread destruction required too much coordination for drunken youths like the ones Thucydides mentions. In fact, one of the culprits might have been the hetaera of the aforementioned Andocides. And so the conspiracy comes full circle!

Perhaps the most passionate argument for the hetaerae as culprits comes from Eva C. Keuls in her The Reign of the Phallus: Sexual Politics in Ancient Athens. This book reinterprets much of ancient Athenian politics through a feminist lens. She posits that "the castration of the herms was an act of protest against the extreme phallocratic atmosphere that pervaded Athens and against its current manifestation, the expedition to Sicily" (32). Statues with erect penises in public places were the ultimate representation of male power, so the women took their anger out on the hermai. Indeed, many classicist now agree that evidence points toward an organized group of women as the hermokopidai, especially since the crime occurred around the time of the Adonia, a religious festival that would have allowed women time to gather together and plan it.

Playing Watson, Not Sherlock

Regardless of the culprit's identity, the mutilation of the hermai stands as an important symbolic moment in the histories of Athens and Alcibiades himself. It wasn't the sole catalyst to some of the catastrophic events that followed, but it undoubtedly played a role, however small, in what happened next.