More Myths About Relationships
There are plenty of myths about how you can save your marriage from tumbling down the rabbit hole into the darkness of marital disaster.
Let's have a look at some of those myths and get them into the light of truth: 1.
Affairs are the cause of divorce In most cases, according to relationship expert John Gottman, it is the other way around.
Problems in the marriage are what can send one of both of them looking for intimate connection outside the marriage.
Extramarital affairs are found to be not usually about sex but about seeking support, understanding, and friendship etc.
- those kinds of things that marriage should be about.
In research of divorced men and women they found that only 20 to 27 % of couples said that an extramarital affair was even partially to blame for the divorce.
2.
Men are not biologically 'built' for marriage The theory that men are philanderers and therefore not made for monogamous relationship and marriage does not hold up in research.
Extramarital affairs do not depend so much on gender as on opportunity which makes sense as - in a heterosexual example - for an affair there needs to be a man and a woman.
Since more women work outside the house the rate of women having extramarital affairs have risen significantly and, based on research of the University of California, the number of young women having affairs is now slightly exceeding those of men.
3.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus Gender differences definitely contribute to marital challenges which do not mean they cause them.
Just like the differences between any two people, whether they be male of female, Caucasian or Asian, black or white is just that - a difference.
A Chinese man can therefore be as different to another Chinese man as he can be different from a Chinese woman.
What matters is how we deal with those differences and treat any partner with respect, understanding and genuine interest.
Happy marriages are not always sailing on smooth waters but are based on a deep friendship.
A long-lasting relationship needs courage, determination, resilience to maintain.
Once you understand what really makes your marriage thrive your life as a couple will become easier.
Make sure to look after your relationship's health and get support from a trained therapist if needed.
Let's have a look at some of those myths and get them into the light of truth: 1.
Affairs are the cause of divorce In most cases, according to relationship expert John Gottman, it is the other way around.
Problems in the marriage are what can send one of both of them looking for intimate connection outside the marriage.
Extramarital affairs are found to be not usually about sex but about seeking support, understanding, and friendship etc.
- those kinds of things that marriage should be about.
In research of divorced men and women they found that only 20 to 27 % of couples said that an extramarital affair was even partially to blame for the divorce.
2.
Men are not biologically 'built' for marriage The theory that men are philanderers and therefore not made for monogamous relationship and marriage does not hold up in research.
Extramarital affairs do not depend so much on gender as on opportunity which makes sense as - in a heterosexual example - for an affair there needs to be a man and a woman.
Since more women work outside the house the rate of women having extramarital affairs have risen significantly and, based on research of the University of California, the number of young women having affairs is now slightly exceeding those of men.
3.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus Gender differences definitely contribute to marital challenges which do not mean they cause them.
Just like the differences between any two people, whether they be male of female, Caucasian or Asian, black or white is just that - a difference.
A Chinese man can therefore be as different to another Chinese man as he can be different from a Chinese woman.
What matters is how we deal with those differences and treat any partner with respect, understanding and genuine interest.
Happy marriages are not always sailing on smooth waters but are based on a deep friendship.
A long-lasting relationship needs courage, determination, resilience to maintain.
Once you understand what really makes your marriage thrive your life as a couple will become easier.
Make sure to look after your relationship's health and get support from a trained therapist if needed.