There are so many pressures on couples these days that maintaining a healthy marriage can be extremely tough.
If you don't have as much income as you need, or want, the pressures of having a healthy marriage is so much tougher.
Even for couples that have lots of income to pay the bills they don't escape all the other pressures.
There are times when it feels like a conspiracy is going on; kids, chores, work, family responsibilities, parents.
The list is often an endless bunch of what seems like trivia, and so much of it can stop us from being the spouse, or partner we want to be, or know we should be.
It can be all too easy to forget that essential need to cultivate your relationship.
Sometimes taking your partner for granted is very easy to do, but it's also easy to avoid - if you know how.
To maintain a healthy marriage requires you to do some fundamental things.
Here is just a few of them: Take time to make time - for each other.
Make time for your conversations, and in a place which is free from other distractions.
Try turning off the television and make it possible to have a real conversation with your partner.
Try cooking together, or order in a healthy takeaway, and have a pleasant dinner with each other on a regular basis.
To make conversation more enjoyable get into the habit of sitting at a table too...
because it makes it so much easier to converse properly than eating in an armchair! Communicate effectively.
The most important key to building a strong healthy relationship is communication.
Effective communication requires you to be an 'active listener', and that means listening without making up your mind, beforehand, on the outcome.
Focus on what your partner is saying -as well as expressing your own feelings in a constructive, honest and fair way.
Whatever you do, avoid being dismissive, ridiculing or rejecting your partner for what he, or she, may be saying.
If you're feeling frustrated, and sense that you are getting angry, take a 'time-out', and agree to resume your conversation later.
Always play fair.
It's not possible to see eye to eye on everything...
it just won't happen.
An important part of resolving conflicts is being respectful of your partner's feelings, even when you are arguing.
Even if you don't always agree on things you're discussing, let your partner know that you value what he, or she, is saying.
If you ever feel that you're 'losing it' and that you may physically harm your partner, give yourself some breathing space by walking away.
If necessary seek some help and guidance straight away.
You may invite a lot of trouble not to do so.
So please, even though your temper may be frayed at the edges, step back and count to a much higher number than ten.
It may stop you from doing something you might regret later.
To summarize: keep smiling and remember to take time to smell the roses with each other.
Work on communicating well; work at avoiding being overly critical; don't get into the habit of rejecting, or dismissing your partner out of hand.
Try to treat him, or her, the way you always want to be treated.
With a large measure of dignity, fairness, respect.
It will help you to keep your sanity and, importantly, you can have a lot more fun with each other!