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Empty Nest Depression: It"s Time to Strengthen Your Marriage

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A mother is wounded deep somewhere by her child's departure.
The feelings of grief, pain and depression experienced by mothers or care givers after children come of an age and leave their home is called 'empty nest syndrome'.
And the sad news is that there has been steady increase in the number of divorces within many long-term married couples after the kids leave home, as they realize that their children kept them together for so many years.
Other couples get overwhelmed by too much togetherness during the empty nest years and because they cannot handle the health issues, the sense of uncertain future lead to divorce.
But there is a silver lining in the cloud; you can actually strengthen your marital bond and enjoy an intense and more passionate relationship after your children have left you.
Now that your kids have left, you can actually start all anew, reviving the old chemistry within you two.
Soon after your kids have left, you will immediately notice some changes.
Your home will feels quiet and bigger suddenly, your grocery bills are lower, your pets are abandoned and needs feeding, you are worrying about your child, but foolishly find that there is no reason to worry at all, truly, worrying about them has become your habit.
You will realize how delighted you are to receive the emails and phone calls from your children, there's always food available in the refrigerator, the house stays tidy without much hassle, you are washing clothes only once a week, your water bill takes a dive and you can get hot water whenever you want, the phone rings less, you can use the computer whenever you wish, the attic is stuffed with your kids mementoes and belongings, you need to rearrange their things, suddenly you two discovered that you can make love on the living room sofa in the middle of the day! There will be a lot of changes in both of you and your surroundings, you may go through mood changes and get onto each other's nerve while coping with the empty nest situation in life.
This is not the time you should give in, because you can attain your peace and happiness back by little but conscious effort.
You need to remember that at this age both you and your counter part go though hormonal changes, which are named Menopause and Andropause, that is responsible for sudden behavioral, mental and physical changes.
There are issues that require discussion, identify them and talk to your partner so that you can understand each others priorities and expectations from life.
There may be financial concerns and ageing parents, concerns regarding your future, where you want to spend the rest of your life etc.
An open discussion will help to settle down on mutually taken decisions.
Empty nest hits man equally as hard as it hits a woman.
Try helping each other to cope up with the grief, seek counseling if your empty nest marriage is showing signs of withdrawal and negativity.
Have fun and enjoy the togetherness to the fullest, concentrate on each other and limit how often you call your children and avoid placing guilt trips on them, use your holidays for exploring something new, you need to develop a flexible mindset and be open to change.
At this point of time, adult children need friendship and guidance from their mom and dad, nothing more will help them better.
So be a friend to them, not only a care giver.
Now let them leave their life and you concentrate exploring your own life and its requirements.
You can reschedule your days and make short-term and long-term plans on how to spend money and time, do things together which you always wanted but never had time.
It is the best time for those small moments of togetherness and happiness; you will see how much joy can be carried to you.
Empty nest years are the second half of your marriage; this is the best time to rediscover yourself in your partner's arms and reignite the passion.
The process is not tough, but sincere effort is required, just continue to remain sensitive and aware of each other and turn this journey to a more rewarding and fulfilling experience.
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