It's usually really easy to know newly married couples from the way they relate with each other. They are usually into themselves, smiling, touching and just enjoying one another's company. The common thing is that this display declines with time. The older couples who still love themselves, just relate more like friends. You won't see the public display of affection you saw when they were younger.

I generally find it hard to process the fact that this very couple that are presently at each others' throat are the same couple that were all over themselves when they newly got together. What changed in this relationship? Or is it the people that changed?

It's really common to hear couples who come for marriage counseling saying how that the other person is no longer the same as when they got married. Can this actually be true?

For me, I do not agree that people change. The issue I think is a failure to actually get to know the real person. People generally get emotional and carried away. When you get married, you are compelled to face the real thing and not what you think. People some times start wondering if they have made a mistake when they are confronted by reality. You could have made a mistake and you also may not have.

One major error that lot's of people make is looking for a perfect individual. No one person would possess all the characteristics you desire in a partner. Looking for perfection is readying yourself for disappointment. If you understand that you're imperfect, you won't expect any other person to be perfect.

What do you do when you discover some things about your spouse you don't like? This is a really critical question. There are those who unfortunately think they just have to find that non-existent perfection. This results in extra marital affairs. One thing that generally happens is that folks find themselves wishing they had some of the traits of the old person in the new person.

The first thing you require to build a great marriage is to accept first that you are not perfect. You can't sincerely expect your spouse to be perfect when you're not perfect. It is your choice to be happy with your spouse regardless of the imperfections that would see you through. Your extra marital affair isn't the answer. If anything, it would make your own imperfection more obvious.

You could really decide to shield your spouse's imperfection. This is a decision you can make for the success of your marriage. Just in case you are no longer certain you can hold on, you should go for marriage counseling.

Older couples always talk about how the issues that used to disturb them so much about their partner simply stopped bothering. This is why you would see divorced couples who later in their life can't imagine why on earth they got divorced.

Stay with your marriage and choose to make it work and you would see it work.