Too many times, we get so caught up in repetitive dead-end situations where solutions are blatantly obvious, but because of the familiar life-infusing addiction to the emotional drama involved, we refuse to see the 'forest for the trees.' We cling to so-called problem like our lives depended on it. {On one level, they do!} But, on the other hand, we spend far too much time discussing the negative components of the so-called predicament, instead of working toward a productive resolution. It's almost 'as if' we don't want 'things' to be resolved. {To resolve would mean we would have to break free from our long held ideas and convictions we currently hold of the other and ourselves.} And, who wants to do THAT? The 'road to recovery' flags us at every bend, yet we refuse to acknowledge the signposts. We stare blankly into the 'pit of despair' wondering what went wrong. We tell ourselves {rather convincingly}, "I don't have any idea how things got this bad, difficult or complicated. He/she is so selfish." {Forgetting altogether that our mate is the mirror of our present state.} In the beginning of our relationships, we never would have believed that something like THIS could/would have happened to us. When did we become one of those people who is stuck in a relationship where there is very little communication? (Less affection)

We spend our days all tangled up, agitated, confused, and angry, 'on edge' {not to mention sexually frustrated.}. It seems almost pointless to cover the same ground over and over and over again when the outcome remains the same, unresolved. We start to believe no relief can be had; reconciling ourselves to the ongoing misery, we dread to face, daily. We pretend to accept what we apparently can't change;then, try to make the best of it. But, deep down we KNOW we can't go on like this. It's as if we are living someone else's life. "It just aint supposed to be this way."

So what are we to do? If we truly want to find some sense of ideal resolve (peace and happiness), what measures do we need to take? The first objective: stop battling! Refuse to be at odds with yourself. No matter how definitive 'in the right' you believe your position to be, you must empty your mind of any need for a satisfying result. {That definitely includes your having an idea about how Love and Romance "should be."} Stop comparing! You must accept your portion of the unpleasant situation as a determined insistent stubborn refusal to move beyond left over emotional residue. This infiltrated emotional turmoil is preventing you from seeing what you are actually experiencing and how you are actually contributing to it. Meaning: you slip into an overt unawareness [you go blank] which places you in an unapproachable position. Foreboding no less, not so good for the home team. You are so caught up in unproductive unflattering memories of the previous accumulated arguments, fights, disagreements, shouting matches and silent fumes that you are poisoning your mind and aging your body. You are literally 'dumping shit' on your head without any need of participation from the other.

Because your mind is so clouded by resentful preconceived ideas and notions, you are not present in the room at any time when you face your partner. When encountering him/her you are flooded by overwhelming debilitating ancient emotions. Clouding your vision with distorted percpetions. You must bring yourself to the present! If the relationship/involvement means anything to you, you absolutely can not continue to slip into the same old ways and patterns of relating. {Knowing what's going to be said before it is spoken.} BORING!!!

Get out of the past and get into now. N.O.W.: New Operation Warranted.
It's you that the MATTER is consuming, not the other. When are you going to realize that? IF you think it's a matter of justice or 'getting even', forget it. Aint no EVEN. (Ask any skilled mathematician/scientist/alchemist; there's always the imperceptible variable.) What's so important about driving your point home, anyway? Who appointed you scorekeeper? Furthermore, why do you need to think of yourself as so special to have appointed such a Sovereign position as the one who doles out retribution? Excuse me, while I bow. You are not dealing with anything except your own unresolved insecurities. If you are not careful, you may so exaggerate the importance of the idea of who you think you are that it will be nearly impossible to bring you back into the land of real 'living breathing human beings', who are filled with defects, frailties and imperfections. You know, the land where the rest of us live: the ones who make mistakes, who can admit they're wrong and can be obliging when necessary. {Yes, I did say 'obliging' when necessary.}

What? You still need an apology? Why? Why does anyone ever have to say he/she is sorry? It's unnatural and degrading. No one is ever sorry for an experience that is an essential part of the divine growth entailed for his/her deliverance and exaltation. Give me a break. If he/she was sorry, [as you declare you desire] what would you have to do with him/her? Would that not place not you in a more notable position to laud your high held regard over that lowly soul? Are you implying the other would be fortunate to receive your righteous forgiveness? No thank you. I'll pass.

You must face the fact that no one owes you anything, ever. Not loyalty, allegiance, or honesty. The rational conscious reason a person decides to be with another is simply because he/she wants to be and for no other reason. IF that matters to you, THEN it matters. There is no tie that binds like unbreakable or unmeltable steel handcuffs. We are all liberty endowed human beings. FREE Agents, no less. Relationship, partnership or marriage in no way infringes upon that sacred individual vow. It's all a matter of realizing, verbalizing, accepting and releasing your underlying fear. (Admit in your heart; confess with your mouth deal) You want some sort of promise or guarantee. There are none. Promises are made to be broken and guarantees are the sole property of death, alone.

Face the unflattering truth about yourself and all others; we desire things to go in our favor. We want benefit and pleasure with very little pain and certainly no disappointment. We want somebody to pledge to 'be there forever and ever' without recoil or changing his/her mind. No such luck. "Aint gonna happen," said the captain when the bruised and tired ship mates asked if they could all share equally in the distribution of gold coins discovered in the huge treasure chest they had all long sought after.

The liberating truth is: your daily walk and relationships are going to be filled with obstacles, restraints, disappointments, and general 'run of the mill' dead end enterprises. Some of your romantic involvements are going to break your heart, destroy your mind, ruin your self-confidence and rip open your guts merely to smear them all along the highway of your personal life for everyone who is important to see and comment. So what? You are equal to and can surpass any self-imposed barrier you create and meet along the way. It's part of your grand deceptively illusive self-designed path to self-discovery and self-mastery. That's how you grow and evolve, through your soul's Oscar winning performance in suffering. Hurt ME One More Time, Please.

Patience is indeed the greatest virtue given to mankind. The only sure way to develop more of it is to be refused or delayed the things you THINK you desire. The reason I use the word THINK is because the things you really need will never be held back from you. It's impossible! Ever. Nothing that truly belongs to you can be withheld or taken from you. It's just the twist in the divine plot of your personal life. {A clever ploy to distract you temporarily while you figure out how to redeem yourself.> I think they call that salvation or something on that order.